Sync
by anissaannalise
Summary: Love never progresses without a nudge from fate, a decision borne of free will & a leap of faith. From the first kiss & beyond finale. Bryce/Nicole Nyce-fic
1. Don't Stop Believin'

**A/N: ** I don't own it, this is just my toybox & Bryce & Nicole are merely borrowed action figures. I'm keeping myself spoiler free prior to the episodes airing (US) so here's hoping they don't break my heart too much... and I get as much written as possible before they can.

* * *

_**Chapter 1- Don't Stop Believin'**_

After their kiss Bryce had hoped that he and Nicole would get back to their normal. That easy place where they joked and laughed without self-conscious pauses and furtive, sideways glances. It didn't quite happen. Their banter was still there but they were trying too hard. That they were trying was a problem. The glances were there but they were trying to act like they weren't. Their usual synch had been disrupted and all they could do was try and make the best of it.

After the kiss, they'd headed over to Weiland Brewery for dinner and both had been grateful they'd been seated so quickly.

"So, this was good." Nicole said, her tone tense, over her mostly untouched burger while using one of her french fries to paint in ketchup on her plate.

"Yeah. It's a little..." Bryce began and trailed off as he suddenly found his salmon a most interesting and engaging specimen, poking at it with his fork.

"Awkward. Right?"

"Yes. Definitely."

"Yeah."

"But it doesn't have to be. I mean, everything was normal and fine before I did... that. So..."

"Right. And we can just maybe act like it never happened. RIght?" she asked with a quick glance, hoping he'd contradict her.

"Yeah. That's most likely the perfect thing to do."

"Of course. It's best not to get all caught up in a whole quandary of questions about it."

"Exactly. Because you know, it's so clear what that was all about. Right?" Bryce asked, taking his turn on hoping she'd be the one to contradict him.

"Yeah. Absolutely." Nicole offered quickly, not looking up.

The two sat silently for a minute that seemed to stretch out interminably.

"Okay, we've got about two more minutes of acting like this before it officially gets weird. It was a kiss not public sex." Bryce said as he leaned in and broke their shared mute awkwardness.

Nicole burst into laughter "And are you familiar with just how much awkward is appropriate in the second instance?"

"So not where I was going and... pleading the fifth on that one."

"Wow. Pleading the fifth? Really?"

"Yes."

"So you know, that's like a total _Yes_."

"No it's not a _yes_."

"Oh, it's a _yes_ by default. The refusal to answer says it all."

"I can't even believe we're having this conversation."

"You brought it up."

"I didn't, I was just trying to get us over the other thing and..."

"And the only thing you could come up with to contrast it with was public sex."

"Okay, what's it going to take to get you to let me off the hook for this one?"

"Oh it's gonna cost you. Huge."

"Fine. Whatever you want."

"Damn, that must be some story."

"State your price, woman."

They relaxed finally and continued to joke and tease one another straight through dessert over a shared triple hot fudge sundae. And when they finally called the evenings end, they lingered and laughed a little while longer.

"So we're even. I've totally paid." Bryce said as they sat in his car outside her house.

"I'm still in disbelief that you actually went through with the karaoke." Nicole said as she pulled her hair into a ponytail.

It was late and the street was empty and silent.

"Oh, so you thought I wouldn't do it?"

"Well the whole way there you kept trying to get out of it."

"No, I wasn't trying to get out of it. I didn't really think you were serious."

"And then we get there and you tried to stall."

"Okay yes, there was a little stalling. But when you went to sign us up, it's not like I ditched. I was still at the table when you came back."

"This is true. You could've made a successful run for it at that point."

"Thank you. And considering the first song we had, I think that should count as extra. I think I've overpaid actually."

"Yeah, now that I think of it, that was probably not what you'd have chosen to lead off with, huh." Nicole giggled as she recalled the two of them on stage.

"Um... no, I wouldn't have led or ended with _Barbie Girl_. Ever."

"I used to totally love that song. My friend Quinn and I would lip sync into our hairbrushes to it when we had sleepovers. It's not really a guy song. See, now I feel kinda bad I picked it. I could've gone with something else. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I figured if you picked it, that's what you wanted to sing. I wanted you to be happy." he said as their kiss crossed his mind. "No big deal. It's what any friend would do."

He tried to remember if he'd ever noticed how beautifully light reflected in her eyes. And then he reminded himself not to stare at her.

"Yeah" was all Nicole could manage as she held his gaze as the disappointment of their kiss came back to her along with a long list of _if only's_. "Well at least I picked awesome to end with."

"_Journey_ almost makes up for the other."

"Almost? Are you serious? _Don't Stop Believin'_ makes up for everything. No matter what and always."

"Yeah okay, that's true. It's pretty much a universally perfect song. Doesn't matter at all if you can't hit the notes."

"Exactly, and that's why I chose it for us to end on. We were awesome."

"Well, should we wind up on YouTube for worst rendition ever, I won't be surprised. But I'm glad we did it and I'm glad you suggested it."

"Me too." she said and felt herself blush under his gaze. "I should go. It's late"

"Yeah, me too."

"Tomorrow?" she asked, gathering up her things and opening the door to climb out.

"More like, later today, actually." Bryce said as followed.

'Later then." she agreed, closing the car door. "Sleep well. I hope the chemo doesn't wreck you too much."

"Are you kidding, I stood up in front of fifty people and sang _Barbie Girl_ tonight. I'm a badass." he chided.

"You'll always be my Ken." she tried to maintain a straight face.

"And you, my Barbie." he replied with mock sincerity, a hand over his heart.

He stood by the car and watched her up the walk to the door. She turned to wave once she was inside safely and he nodded before getting back in the car to drive away. They usually parted with a hug but not this night. The veil of an unspoken agreement hung between them that things were different now even if they weren't sure how or what it meant. It just was and there wasn't any going back. All they could do was try to deny it, act like it hadn't happened and hope another opportunity presented itself so they could try it again.


	2. 4:03

**A/N: **I don't own it, this is just my toybox & Bryce & Nicole are merely borrowed action figures. Thx for reading! :D

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**Chapter 2- 4:03**

Nicole kicked off her covers in frustration after a couple hours of tossing and turning. Repeatedly, she'd nearly doze off but then sleep would elude her once again. It was enough. She sat up in bed and contemplated her books across the room on her desk. The thought to be productive as long as she was awake was abandoned rather quickly. She knew she wouldn't be able to corral her brain into study mode any more than she could coax sleep out of the darkness.

All she'd been able to do was think about Bryce and the fact that he'd kissed her. As kisses went, it was exactly what she'd been hoping for. He was, as she'd suspected, a very good kisser. She was pretty sure she could still feel exactly the way his hand caressed the side of her face hours ago. His kiss sent a shiver through her whole body and she'd almost been carried away on a wave of sheer joy. Almost.

A voice in the back of her mind was screaming, _"Not like this!"_ and pulled her back to reality.

And now, in the quiet of night, as she turned what happened over in her mind, it was completely clear that reality really sucked. Reality was being kissed by a great guy she'd been waiting to notice her but who'd instead used her as a stand in for someone else. That he hadn't met the someone else he'd substituted her for, possibly made it worse. Nicole wasn't sure. She'd done the _Ms. Right Now_ thing before. But in those instances, the guy opposite was a _Mr. Right Now_ also. So no harm, no foul. No complications of feelings getting hurt or anything. Just a mutual understanding between parties that the interaction was simply for fun and not some meaningful, relationship kind of thing. It certainly wasn't about love.

But she couldn't be Bryce's _Ms. Right Now_. After months of spending so much time together and falling for him in a big way, she'd decided she'd rather not have his heart at all than have it by half or less. Whatever happened, she was sure that on April 29, she couldn't just turn her feelings for him off without a care. He wanted his flash to happen, had actively sought it out and was now awaiting it. Nicole couldn't think of a more clear sign that he didn't see her as anything close to a real romantic interest. And the thought that he could have thought of her as just a convenient hook up was worse.

But that didn't stop her heart from hoping. When he'd said he didn't know why he'd kissed her, she was quick to give him an out. Somehow, it was easier to say it herself than hear him say it. When he apologized she'd been afraid he'd say something that would crush her completely but he didn't. And in the space between him saying "It's just" and "you're great" her heart hoped he'd say the thing she wanted him most to say. That he was in love with her and had been for a while. That when he'd kissed her, of course, it was about her and she'd be crazy to think otherwise. But that wasn't what happened at all.

She sighed and flipped her pillow over to the cool side. When she was a little girl she'd loved and believed in every fairytale she'd come across. She'd never really cared about the being saved by the prince bits but she was all about the finding true love and happily ever after parts. But there was no way to get the true love or happily ever after when you were relegated to sidekick of a prince trothing a princess he's never met and knows nothing about, but the sun rises and sets on.

She noticed the time on her alarm clock and groaned in annoyance before pulling the covers over her head.

* * *

When Bryce awoke he knew he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. He checked the time and decided to be grateful for the two or so hours he'd gotten. Laying in bed, he considered that though tired, he still felt pretty okay. He knew it wouldn't last and as the minutes ticked away aging the day, the harsher effects of the chemo would find him. He'd long given up the optimism that somehow he'd miraculously get a bye from the side effects and that acceptance had made it a bit easier to take. But that was still a few hours off and he knew how to manage it. Nicole was a different situation altogether.

Even with the rest of the evening working out for the most part, he couldn't keep his thoughts from going back to the point where he'd likely thrown their whole relationship off course. He shook his head and wondered what in the world he was doing and what it now meant.

He'd spent months damn near obsessed with the woman in his flashforward but now... but now what? Okay, so the flashes are possible and not certain but he'd wanted his to come true. Now... it didn't feel so important... so urgent. Because now, Nicole happened. He hadn't been drawing or painting the things from his flash regularly anymore. He'd pretty much left everything related to it at the art studio and he hadn't even been there is a few weeks.

This thing he was feeling for Nicole, this shift, it wasn't a sudden thing. It was steady and constant. He'd tried to deny it. Tried to push it aside, but it wouldn't go away and never very far. And he knew, he hadn't wanted it to. It felt good to be around her and he didn't want to let that go. And last night he'd gone and kissed her. Kissed her! It wasn't the first time it had crossed his mind but he'd always thought better of it. But something about the night and how they were felt right. So when the thought occurred to him and before he could think better of it, he'd pulled her close and kissed her. And it was... amazing.

And then it all came crashing down.

As soon as he heard her say his name, he knew he'd made a mistake. The friends to more thing was always a roll of the dice and he was fairly sure he'd just played himself out of the game. He started to apologize in a last ditch attempt to stave off any more ego damage and hoped that she wouldn't say she liked him as a friend. But she didn't. Instead she said he'd been thinking of someone else when he'd kissed her. He knew that wasn't why he kissed her but Nicole looked like she needed him to go along with it. So he decided to cut his losses and count himself grateful to her for giving him an out. And even in the moment, seeing her eyes pleading him to drop the whole thing, all he really wanted to do was kiss her again.

_"Instead, I told her she was great. Way to be lame, Bryce. Good job. Outstanding."_ he thought to himself as he sat up and grabbed the bottle of water he kept by his bed.

He was pretty sure the headache he felt coming on was a few parts chemo related and a few parts obsessive mental replay of the night before. Hydrating to counter the former was easy enough. The latter would take more to work out.

They were friends and that was it. And even if he was alone in feelings that passed that, he was glad for having her in his life. He understood, it was one thing to be friends with a guy who was time stamped, it was an entirely different thing to be romantically involved with one. He couldn't blame her for not wanting to be party to that. But he didn't want his feelings to make her feel uneasy or awkward. He couldn't erase what happened but he could give her a proper apology when next they spoke.

He finished the water and closed his eyes waiting for his headache to either subside or intensify. Unlike things with Nicole, it could go either way.


	3. Sort Of

**A/N: **I don't own it, this is just my toybox & Bryce & Nicole are merely borrowed action figures. Thx for reading & for reviewing. If I've missed giving anyone a personal reply to feedback left, please know it's not for lack of appreciation & forgive me. And I agree with everyone else who's been frustrated that we've been left hanging for 2 weeks after their kiss & Bryce's followup. Gah!

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**Chapter 3: Sort Of**

Nicole looked at her phone as it chimed an incoming call. As soon as she realized it was Bryce she hesitated, unsure of whether or not to answer. She always answered his calls before, but now... instead of the familiar flutter of happy anticipation, all she felt was a surge nervous anticipation and slightly ridiculous. Her phone made the decision for her and sent the call to voicemail.

Relieved, she sipped her coffee and got back to work on her OChem lab report. That she found that more manageable and less complicated than talking to Bryce at the moment made it clear to her that she'd obsessed far too much about the night before. Sleepless then and tired now, she still couldn't get their kiss entirely out of her mind. Her mind wandered over how it would be when she saw him later. She knew she'd remember exactly what his lips felt like against hers. Unfortunately, that wasn't all she'd remember. She'd remember the stand-in part. That his kissing her wasn't about kissing her. She didn't want the fact of either to be written all over her face and she was grateful she had a few more hours before she her shift at the hospital began.

For months she'd pined away over him and he had remained painfully oblivious. She had to give him points for sheer single-mindedness with regard to his flashforward. But when everything that was wrong with him kissing her was parsed out, the fact remained that she'd loved every second. More than that, she wanted him to do it again.

She listened to his message on the way to her car after class. He'd said he was glad he'd kissed her but she wasn't sure what that meant. Was he glad he'd kissed _her_? Or was he just glad that of all the possible available options he could have planted one on in a moment of carelessness, her lips were the best, being the understanding and amiable friend she was?

"You're making me crazy, Bryce." she said aloud as she got into her car and tossed her phone into her bag.

She didn't have time enough at the moment to figure it all out. There were two more places she had to stop before her shift at the hospital began and she couldn't be late to either. She decided that no matter how confused she was, she wasn't going to burden him with her drama over it. Surely this day of all, he really didn't need one more thing to deal with. So she wouldn't even bring it up. She'd be the friend he needed, not the helplessly heartbound hopeful she really was.

* * *

Bryce had been glad that the day seemed to be flying by. He was tired but the rapidity of pace helped keep him from having time to focus on it too much. As side effect days went, it wasn't the worst it could be so he made the most of it. He knew that as long as he was busy and moving he'd be okay for the most part and as soon as he stopped, he'd catch hell.

But knowing it didn't make it any more bearable when it happened. So when he finally relented to his body's demands and laid down on the sofa in the doctor's lounge he told himself that it would only be for ten minutes. It was closer to twenty minutes and even though he was able to drag himself to an upright position, he knew he didn't really have the energy to propel himself off the sofa, across the room and out the door to get back to work. Not yet.

He heard the door open and close and glanced over to see Nicole smiling back at him. He'd been looking forward to seeing her all day but hadn't wanted it to happen during one of his lower points. After leaving her that message he'd let go of all worries about what happened. And he was beginning to find it somewhat amusing that he felt compelled to tell her the truth even to the peril of his ego. He didn't have to be so guarded around her and she didn't want or expect it from him.

"Hey." he smiled back and sat up a little straighter.

"I've come bearing gifts." she said balancing a cup holder in one hand as she came over and sat beside him.

"You didn't have to do that." he said, thankful that she'd sought him out.

"Well before you go all stoic on me and think I was trying to be super nice to you, know that I had to stop and get an iced coffee for myself. So don't think I went out of my way because of you or anything." she explained with a smile, handing over a large lidded cup and straw.

"Thank you." he said and took a sip. "Perfect." he smiled at the familiar and very welcome taste. "How did you know?"

"About the mango, blueberry, banana smoothie thing? Seriously? You always get these on Thursdays. I suspect, I now know why."

"It's the only thing that tastes right the day after. This, is exactly what I needed. You've just made the rest of my afternoon. Thanks Nicole, really."

"No problem. Enjoy and feel better." she stood to leave but hesitated. "And later, we should probably talk."

"So you did get my message."

"Oh, I got it."

"Thoughts?"

"A few, yes." she sat back down next to him.

"Any you want to share?"

"Are you really up for this right now?"

"I am if you are." he assured her.

The extra time on the sofa was going well with the smoothie and he was feeling closer to normal. And even more important to Bryce was the fact that Nicole wanted to talk. No matter what, he was always glad to see her arrive, sad to see her leave and thoroughly content in her presence.

"Well first off, I'm confused. I mean, last night you said that when you kissed me you were thinking of another woman..." she began.

"No, actually you said that." he interrupted.

"Fine, whatever. But you didn't you deny it."

"Because it was fairly obvious you weren't comfortable with the kiss and I felt stupid for having done it so I figured we'd be over the moment faster if I just agreed with you."

"So when you kissed me..."

"I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you. Just you. When I called you this morning, I started to apologize for it but I knew that I wasn't sorry... at all. Making you uncomfortable in the process is the only thing I'm sorry about. But the kiss itself... no regrets." he explained with a shrug.

"No regrets, huh?" she glanced at him skeptically.

"None. I did something I'd been wondering about for a while. I didn't get the reaction I'd wanted but at least now I don't have to wonder anymore. And, excepting the part immediately after it, I've got a pretty awesome moment between us to remember."

"You thought kissing me was awesome?"

"Yeah, it was fairly awesome." he admitted with a sly smile.

She laughed lightly and blushed but said nothing,

"I just want us to be okay and I don't want you to feel weird around me. I promise not to grab you and kiss you again. You know, in Little Tokyo or anywhere else."

"What if I don't want you to promise me that." she asked tentatively.

"So what? You're glad I kissed you?" he asked, considering that he'd misunderstood her initial response to the kiss.

"Sort of."

"Sort of?"

They'd leaned in to one another, closing what little gap there'd been between them.

"Well, I can't really be sure, until..." Nicole whispered edging closer to Bryce.

"Until what?" Bryce asked, hoping that at least this time they both understood what was going on between them.

"Until you do it again."

"Okay."

Their opportunity to capture another kiss was thwarted by the sound of the door to the lounge opening and voices entering engaged in loud conversation about a patient's case and how much an asshole the Angeles Hospital Chief of Staff tended to be with various suggestions on how he could rectify that problem. Nicole and Bryce shared a laugh and a look that agreed this moment was lost but they would find another.


	4. Baggage Claim

**A/N: **I don't own it, this is just my toybox & Bryce & Nicole are merely borrowed action figures. This chapter is all Nicole (Bryce got a scene in last week's ep so I'm evening it up) & begins Part 2 (the second act, if you will) of _Sync_. Thx for reading & reviewing! Besos! :D

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**Chapter 4- Baggage Claim **

Nicole's Ides of March began with an Organic Chemistry exam. She initially took the fact that she actually understood what was being asked on the exam of four main questions with subsequent queries lettered A through K beneath each, to be a good sign. When she finished and realized there were ten minutes more remaining in duration, she wondered if she'd really gotten it when Bryce had helped her study or she'd just completely messed up the whole thing. She re-checked her solutions and they made sense. There was no way to get to the end without answering each question in succession and everything followed through, step by step. She finally decided that whatever it was, it was going to be. She turned in her exam to the TA and left, still glad that she'd only told Bryce about the class and hoping that she wouldn't have to admit utter failure in this endeavor to him.

Her time at the hospital was abbreviated and she'd only seen Bryce briefly in passing. When she'd arrived he was on his way to surgery and was still there when she was leaving. She thought it just as well, she didn't want him to ask her about her exam. And her happiness at their establishing that kissing again was something they both wanted to do had since been dampened by other concerns. Just like with her exam, she'd considered later that it'd all been too easy. And really there hadn't been any sort of clarification on what exactly this was that they were doing. Did it mean something temporarily or not really at all? In the moment, she'd been so caught up in the prospect of kissing him again, that she'd simply let the other part fall away.

And as she drove to LAX, the irony that she may have placed herself squarely in the middle of being his _Ms. Right Now_ anyway made her wonder if she should just accept it and consider herself lucky enough.

Nicole checked the Arrivals board and then the time as she stood in baggage claim looking for her best friend, Quinn. According to the board, the flight from Australia arrived a little later than scheduled. Nicole sighed in relief. The traffic to LAX had been worse than usual but she'd somehow managed to arrive and park with a scant minutes to spare. The passengers were beginning to filter down to the baggage claim area and Nicole expected Quinn to appear at any moment. She watched the luggage tumble onto the carousel and smiled at the sight of Quinn's luggage. Of all the bags beginning their trek around, hers was most easy to pick out among the standard black, green and blue bags. They were bright pink with green handles and tiny green frogs. She grabbed the bags and noticed her friend's monogram on the lock fobs.

"Nikki!"

Nicole turned to see her friend cutting through the crowd toward her, looking miraculously neat for someone who'd been on a plane for fourteen hours. She projected a totally professional image broken only by the pink slash strap of her violin case slung over her shoulder.

"Quinn!"

They squealed and hugged.

"Look at you, all polished and corporate. Very nice." Nicole commented on the tailored black suit and equally fabulous shoes Quinn was wearing.

"And so not me. Somehow I didn't really see myself like this when I went to work for RPR. Anyway, I was caught up at work and ran late to catch my flight, hence this." Quinn explained as they picked up her luggage and made their way through the crowd.

"I'm so glad you're back, even if it's just for a visit."

"Me too. I've totally missed you."

Nicole's phone chimed, "It's April... again."

"Don't answer it. Seriously, she's been killing me with the phone calls for the last twenty-four hours. Have you talked to her?"

"Oh yeah, we've talked. More than a few times. Most likely because you haven't answered her."

"Oh my god, you'd think she was the one marrying Jamie, instead of Ellie. Is the Maid of Honor supposed to be this obnoxious?"

"She just takes it seriously and it's not like you don't know how she can be. Good or bad, she hasn't really changed since highschool."

"True. But at least I can yell at her and no one will care." she took out her phone and began dialing.

"You haven't even been stateside for an hour and you're already looking for a fight." Nicole said.

"Yeah well, good or bad I haven't really changed since highschool either." she said and pushed the button to make the call as they continued to walk.

* * *

"So tell me all about Sydney and how much you love your job." Nicole prodded as they sat in a little cafe over chai lattes.

After being cooped up on a plane for hours, Quinn had practically begged for a little time in an open space before getting in a car and sitting in traffic.

"Okay, well Sydney is of course amazing and my job is pretty much even more than I ever dreamed it'd be. And you know all this because we Skype every week. I've got no new business... so..."

"What?"

"Come on, Nikki. Tell. For months, within the first five minutes of talking to you, you work Dr. Cute But Clueless into the conversation. And so far today, nada. What's up?"

"Well... there was a kiss a few days ago." Nicole admitted trying not to smile too much.

"Who kissed who?"

"He kissed me."

"Yes! Finally! Wait, you didn't call me to tell me so... is his fatal flaw that he's a bad kisser?"

"No. He's absolutely not a bad kisser. At all."

"So what's the problem?"

"His flashforward."

"How so?"

Nicole detailed the circumstances of Bryce kissing her and their following resolution. Quinn listened but frowned most of the time.

"Okay, so let me see if I've got this right. He kissed you and you liked it." Quinn started in.

"I _really_ liked it." Nicole admitted.

"And your only point of reservation is that he's possibly still all about flash-woman and that whole thing, so you resolved not to go down that road at all without some sort of sign from him that. "

"Yes."

"Yet, you find that when you see him again you completely forget all about that for a number of reasons, including the fact that you want him to kiss you again... among other things. And he seems to be all up to that particular task."

"Yeah, that's pretty much it."

"But you still care that he hasn't made a decision one way or the other. So really, you only have one option. You have to define it. He's got to choose."

"I can't ask him to do that."

"Well, first of all, you shouldn't have to ask him to. He should already have that worked out... ya know, because of the kissing."

"I know. But Quinn, his flash is so important to him. That moment, it's like, his whole reason to be."

Quinn rolled her eyes, "It may have been but if his current actions are any indication, it's not now. And that isn't even what your main problem is, so don't put all this on him."

"What do you mean? That's my only problem."

"No, it's not. Nikki you're my best friend and I love you, but you've kinda made a habit out of being relationship phobic. Which is some feat because you're also the biggest romantic sap I've ever known. You don't have any problem being a half-assed girlfriend or casual dater, but the whole _in love relationship thing_ hasn't been your forte."

"That's _so_ not true." Nicole protested weakly.

"Whatever. Shall we recount a few of the ways it is? Two years ago, Jared, your mostly ignored boyfriend of four months at the time, took off with some other girl on Spring Break and he didn't even bother to send you a text to break up. You, upon finding out by some random third party, were completely unfazed. Honestly, I think you thought he did you a favor. I'm not even going to sit here and try to count how many guys never made it past the first date mark. And the thirty day mark isn't looking too good either."

"First of all, Jared was not remotely like some love of my life situation." Nicole began.

"And he lasted a lot longer than most and that's my point. You never get this shocked and shaken. This thing with Bryce is serious and you're not even officially a couple. You're in love with him and it's got you freaked."

"It's a bit of a nerve wracking situation. I mean, there's me and then this fabulous unknown in his flashforward." Nicole said with a shrug.

"And so now you're coming up with reasons to sabotage things before they really get going. You're not scared he won't choose you. You're scared he will."

Startled by the the accuracy with which Quinn called it, Nicole stared into her cup, suddenly mute on the subject and sorry she'd embarked on this conversation with her at all. There wasn't anything she could say to argue that wouldn't be a lie. And of course, Quinn would know that too. And call her out on it. They'd known each other too long for Nicole to have expected anything else. Quinn was of course, right.

Nicole was scared he'd choose her. Chasing the fairytale was what she was expert at. Playing Princess opposite the Prince wasn't her territory. It was a theory she entertained. Between her feelings for Bryce, his illness and his flash, the whole prospect was more than a little intimidating. The very thought that he might count her as a regret at some point was unbearable. His entire flashforward was this totally life altering, elevating thing and Nicole was sure that even if she, by some wild stroke of luck could compete with it, she couldn't likely live up to it in the end.

So when he called her later, she answered and smiled at the sound of his voice. He asked about her exam and she feigned bravado she didn't really have. She'd decided that she could stand failing Organic Chemistry because she could always take it again. There wasn't much to loose. But failing Bryce was entirely different and very likely. And unlike Quinn, Nicole couldn't see Bryce thinking she was really worth it in the end.


	5. Restrung

**A/N: **I don't own it, this is just my toybox & Bryce & Nicole are merely borrowed action figures. I know it's been a bit since the last update but I've been seriously busy & hadn't had the time to post. The next chapter will be up soon. Thx for reading in advance!

* * *

**Chapter 5- Restrung**

Bryce was pouring over papers as he sat behind the nurses' station. His attention though, was divided as he kept looking up whenever anyone walked into the unit. He was looking for Nicole. She was running late but that was only important to him insofar as he'd been looking forward to seeing her. So he was taking advantage of a lull and more or less waiting for her but trying not to look like he was waiting for her. Someone would walk through. He'd look. It wouldn't be her. His heart would sink just a little and he'd go back to the same thing he was reading a moment before but not really reading, simply waiting for the next time he'd be prompted to look up again.

He glanced up to see a young woman in a dark grey suit walk in. She not being Nicole, he went back to his papers.

"Excuse me."

Bryce looked up to see it was the woman in the dark grey suit, "Yes?"

"Hi. Is Nicole Kirby around?" she barely glanced at him as she asked. Her attention was mostly on the screen of her mobile phone.

"Not yet. She should be here soon though. You can wait for her if you want."

She checked her watch. "I really can't wait. I'm already running late."

"Can I help?" he offered, standing.

"Are you insanely trustworthy and dependable?" she asked regarding him askant, sizing him up.

"Yes. On both counts." Bryce answered, amused by her question.

"Okay. This" she held up a violin case, "is Nicole's. Can you make sure it gets to her? Like, personally hand it to her."

"A violin. Sure." he said and accepted the case.

"Newly restrung from the luthier. I've got to run, but tell her Quinn said she all out of excuses."

"And you're Quinn?"

"I am. And just in case I need to track you down for failing to hand that over... you are?"

"Bryce."

"Ah, the amazing Dr. Varley." she smiled brightly, finally able to put the name to a face.

"Yeah, a little less than amazing, but that's me. Nicole talks about you all the time."

She chuckled. "I can guarantee you, not nearly as much as she talks about you." Quinn smiled, sure she couldn't have left Nicole's violin to anyone better. "It's good to meet you Bryce and thanks."

She was already backing away to take her leave and get on to her next task.

"You too. No problem." he said and turned over the violin case, surprised that Nicole had never mentioned that she played.

* * *

"I am _so_ sorry I'm late." Nicole said rushed over when she arrived.

Paige running late by forty minutes that morning had totally set the tone for Nicole's entire day. As a result, she had missed her Psych class. She'd thought she'd get back on track but then Paige called her and said she needed to bail early, so Nicole needed to go back home in the supervise their mother in the interval between, while waiting for the home healthcare aide. Paige was always good for showing up late and leaving early. Most days, while Nicole would have minded, she would have been much more able to adapt to it. But this day she was just markedly thrown off by it and still trying to find the moment where she and her day would catch up to each other.

All Bryce could do was smile at the sight of her. "Don't worry about it. It's been kind of a slow day. But I do have one urgent thing just for you."

"Really? What is it?" she asked thinking it was a work thing but hoping it wasn't.

Seeing him made her day just about ten times better. She'd decided that though intimidated by the prospective future's affect on their relationship she wanted to enjoy the present. And in the present, she knew that they got on well together, had common interests and were often finding new things to add to their "to do" list. Kissing was just the best and newest addition.

"Come with me and find out."

"Hm, said the spider to the fly." she feigned caution as she walked with him.

Their destination was the doctor's lounge and Nicole was almost sure she knew why they were there.

He handed her the violin case. "Under penalty of what I think is pain of death, I'm supposed to tell you that, Quinn says you don't have any more excuses."

"Quinn was here?" the disappointment in her voice was clear.

Bryce presenting with her violin was the furthest thing from her mind. She knew her face gave her away and hoped that Quinn had at least not said anything that would embarrass her... more, but knew the odds of that were pretty slim. "Okay, so just tell me what she said so I can be embarrassed and get it over with."

"She spilled all your secrets. It's really hard to remember every detail right now, but there was something about you and me and how you just loved kissing me and..." he said pulling her close, unable to resist the moment to tease her.

"Oh really?" she smiled up at him expectantly. The feel of his hands on her waist took away whatever cares she'd been harboring and she let the violin case slide to the floor and lean on the wall.

"I'm just telling you what she said."

"Yeah, right. Whatever." she rolled her eyes and settled into his embrace.

"Oh, so you don't love kissing me?"

"There may be one thing I love about it."

"And that would be?"

"The part where you kiss me back." she said just before his lips met hers.

Everything else that sucked about her day fell away as she had that moment she'd been searching for all day where everything just clicked. The realization of the kiss obliterated all earlier concerns. There wasn't anything else other than the two of them. And then the most dreaded of intruders, Bryce's pager, spoke up. There was no question it demanded answer and action.

"I've gotta go so... later?" he asked, poised to leave but his hand still resting on her waist.

"Definitely." she grinned, her head still spinning from the kiss.

And with a smile and nod he was gone, leaving Nicole blushing, grinning and already counting off the minutes. She sighed and leaned on the wall by the door for a moment.

"Just one more thing." Bryce appeared in the doorway once again.

"Anything." she said and meant it.

He pulled her into one more kiss sending her on another dizzying spiral and leaving her dazed and trying to reclaim her bearings when it ended and he was gone. She knew she'd glide through the rest of her shift most giddy inside while faking being nonchalant and normal on the outside. A steep price to pay but she didn't care.

She told herself not to go back to thinking about anything more than the present. Just focus on the moment. She told herself not to get used to the way he kissed her or the way he looked at her. She told herself not to like it too much. She told herself that if she didn't expect more than right now, she couldn't be heartbroken or break a heart in the end. She told herself a lot of things.


	6. Covalent Bonding

**A/N: **Thanks to all awesome peeps who've read & reviewed! I'm still srsly squeeing over the most recent Bryce/Nicole sitch... and bracing for a fall of epic proportions. I should mention that this fic diverges from a major canon plot point. There will be no convenient visit from the Cancer Remission Fairy for Bryce because **1)** I'm just opposed to that kind of nonsense & **2)** it doesn't fit the narrative in this story as I've previously outlined it before the show took this direction (_which is highly bizarre considering they went from saying he was undergoing another chemo course to an experimental protocol in like, 2 scenes, as if we've all forgotten that he skipped Houston to go to Tokyo & was opposed to going the experimental route because the side effects were major... like, life-threatening. _**Holy fractured retcon, Batman! WTH?!**). I've been celebrating my B-Day since Friday... which is why I'm just getting around to posting this chapter. But I'm getting right on to the next. And one more thing, italic blocks of text are flashbacks. Besos! xoxo

* * *

**Chapter 6- Covalent Bonding**

Nicole's brow furrowed with a mix of frustration and determination as she worked a problem. She'd pulled an A on her last Organic Chemistry exam but was starting to wonder if resonance and quantum mechanics was going to be the undoing of her GPA. Sigma bonds and pi bonds were starting to run together and she was beginning to truly hate that benzene or any other aromatics existed at all. She muttered to herself, sighed and kept working.

Bryce glanced at her over his laptop from across the table. She'd staked out her space and was awash in a field of notes topped with her text and study guide. She'd been so furiously diligent for so long that he wasn't even sure she realized he was still in the room. He'd made the mistake of asking if she needed help forty minutes earlier and received a look in return that told him unequivocally that even if she needed it, she didn't want it. At least not yet. Death glares and all, he liked that she had the tenacity to just slog through.

"You know what? I don't even care anymore!" she relented in frustration, throwing down her pencil. She grabbed her notebook and leaned across the table to hand it off to Bryce. "Just tell me I've screwed it all up so I can go on to something else."

Bryce accepted the handoff and looked over what she'd done. Her frustration reminded him of his own when he'd taken the same course. Organic Chemistry broke some and scarred all. Looking over her work, he was sure Nicole would wind up in the scarred not broken category.

"Well, this most likely isn't going to make you happy but, you've got it almost perfectly." he explained as she stood next to him. "It's just this part, that's off."

"That's the part that's driving me batshit. I can't get it to work out right. Nothing works, so just tell me." she huffed in resignation, begrudgingly admitting defeat.

"You don't want me to tell you." Bryce knew telling her something so obvious, so clear, would only serve to upset her. She understood the hardest part but was getting caught up on a minor thing.

"Yes, I do." she said and leaned in to look over his shoulder.

"No. Seriously. You're just looking at it too closely. Your answer's right there."

"It's not." she persisted, looking and still unable to see it.

"It really is. I think you just need to leave it for a bit and come back and then you'll see." he said and slid his arm around her waist.

"Fine. A study break then." She reclaimed her notebook and sat on his lap. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing exciting. I just paid the ridiculous premium increase on my car insurance."

"Why the increase?"

"Because I wrecked some guy's car."

"You what? When?" Nicole asked, surprised to have not heard about this sooner.

"Months ago. Last year. It was the day my doctor gave me my prognosis, so I wasn't really in the best place to make good decisions... or drive. And I backed in to this guy's car."

"Well, accidents do happen. All things considered, it's certainly understandable."

"This wasn't like that exactly. The first time I hit him was an accident. The subsequent hits, weren't." he explained with a slight smile.

"Ah, I see." she smiled, understanding what he'd done.

"Yeah. And then I just got out of the car and walked away. So now everything else about that whole thing has been worked out and the insurance premium is just a scheduled reminder of it. Could be worse." he shrugged.

He wasn't terribly bothered by what he'd done. He only wished he could remember it with better clarity because what he'd seen played back of the incident after the fact on the security video, had made him smile. Even now, it was what he considered a bright spot in an otherwise crap day.

"True." Nicole agreed, liking his big picture outlook. "Poor guy though."

'No. I mean, not that what I did was entirely okay but he's kind of an asshole."

"Oh well, then by spoiled brat rules that makes it completely justified."

"Exactly. I knew you'd understand."

They shared a laugh then a kiss. Nicole's study break was well on its way to a makeout session and neither she nor Bryce could think of a better use of their time.

* * *

"You know, you really shouldn't let me just co-opt your space when I'm here. I've got my crap all over the place." Nicole called back to Bryce as she took in the mess she'd made of his dining room table.

The papers and books that obscured the majority of the surface were being evicted in favor of dinner. It looked like her backpack had exploded all its contents as it sat open on the floor next to the chair, with stray pencils and pens peeking out among a few books. She grabbed the backpack and began putting her notes, books and folders in order.

"It's temporary and a small price to pay when you're here." Bryce said as he came up to hug her from behind.

"You say that now, but just wait until you get tired of me." she spoke before she could think not to. It was one of those insecurities that usually resided in the recesses of her mind that made it to her mouth at the most inopportune time. She hated that she did that.

"Never happen." Bryce assured her with a kiss on her neck.

Grinning madly, she continued gathering up her things, slipping papers in their appropriate folders according to her system of organization and stopped when she realized that one of the folders she'd picked up in her frenzy wasn't hers.

"What's _Trifectimab_?" she asked as she read the folder marker.

"Oh um, a drug in clinical trial." he said while taking the folder out of her hands easily.

He hesitated considering just how much he wanted to divulge. He hoped she wouldn't ask about it but knew she'd do just that.

"Cool. What does it do?" Nicole asked on queue.

Her somewhat recent interest in the practice of medicine prompted her question as much as being very much impressed with Bryce's personal approach to the way he sought to treat his patients. She wondered if it was the fact that he was creative or also sometimes a patient that most shaped him as a physician.

"It's... it's to treat the same cancer I have." he admitted reluctantly.

"So, that's not work." she said with a nod toward the folder.

"No. Not so much." Bryce dropped the folder on his laptop.

"And... you don't want to talk about it." she asked, her tone falling someplace between a question and a statement.

"Over dinner? Not really. Maybe some other day." he said and headed for the kitchen, now grateful to use dinner as his excuse to defer.

"Okay then, but I'm holding you to that." she warned as she closed her bag. "I just have one question."

"What's that?" He'd returned with their plates and sat them down on the table.

"Does your interest in it mean the chemo isn't working?" she asked her voice quavering just a bit.

Hearing the worry in her voice made him want to reassure her that the chemo was ultimately and unequivocally the best way to go but he couldn't lie. He was pretty sure that trying to explain to her all he had to Dr. Fleming about his choosing the chemo over the clinical trial months ago and his reconsideration now, wouldn't do the job of quelling her fears either.

"That depends on what you define as _working_." he admitted.

"What's that mean? I thought the point of the chemo was to try to cure you." She did her best to keep her voice even though her stomach felt like it was tying itself into a series of intricate knots. Part of her was sorry she'd asked the question at all for fear of a negative answer.

"With some cancers it works that way. Not mine. For me, it's more an attempt at containment and maintenance than curing. Which, is still a good thing."

"But the clinical drug is a chance at something closer to a cure?"

"If it works, yes." he said optimistically.

He left out the parts about trial phases and odds of his actually meeting all the trial requirements for acceptance. Instead he slipped his arms around her and pulled her close.

"So you're... weighing your options."

She didn't want to think about him having a bad outcome. Instead she concentrated on how his hands felt as they rested on the space between her shirt and the top of her jeans when he kissed her. It still took her by surprise that he's more than adept at using his hands well when he touched her. Like he knew just where to go for maximum effect. She wondered if it was a surgeon thing. Some mix of gifted art and deftness. She knew it wasn't just a regular guy thing and when her thoughts lingered more than a moment on whether it could be a love thing, she dismissed them and reminded herself to just enjoy the moment as is.

"Yes. And starving, because this isn't talking about it another day."

"Okay, fair. Just promise me that you'll remember that no matter what you choose to do, I'll be there for you. Whatever you need. Whenever you need it. No question."

"I'll remember. I promise. Now can we have dinner?"

* * *

Bryce reflected on the day and counted it as one of the best ever. Nicole had fallen asleep while they were watching television, her head resting on his chest. They'd been talking and laughing but as time passed her responses were delayed and were eventually replaced with the sound of her breathing softly. He smiled and muted the television opting for closed caption instead.

He considered that falling in love with her felt like the most natural thing in the world. It was a steady current interrupted by waves of euphoria and no matter how many times he found himself pulled under, it was a welcome surprise. When he wasn't around her, she was still in his heart and never far from his thoughts. He wasn't sure he'd ever get used to the fact that she freely chose to spend so much of her time with him or the fact that he seemed to make her happy. Making her smile or laugh was now always at the top of his list. And that little sigh she made whenever he kissed her, was just about the best sound he'd ever heard. Months of moments between them had added up and now he couldn't imagine a day without her in it. He didn't want to.

_Two weeks earlier..._

_After months of therapy sessions, Bryce had slowly but surely given up his reticence and reluctance to them. He knew he hadn't been the best patient in the world and of all his clinicians he'd been the most difficult with Dr. Fleming. For almost every suggestion or positive point she had made, he would counter or discount outright. It hadn't been that she wasn't right back then, it was just that he couldn't stand to hear it or hope. His scans and labwork results were tangible and their meanings far more weighty than any nebulous idea of hope at the time. Besides, being a physician made him acutely suspicious that he was being handled like a patient instead of simply leveled with as a peer. And he really hated being a patient._

_"You said before that you felt you had to tell Nicole the truth about your prognosis because you couldn't lie to her. But you have other friends, your family and colleagues you've not felt the same duty to. What's the difference?" Dr. Fleming asked as she sat across from him._

_"Wow, you're all about the tough questions today, huh?" he said with a wry smile and began to explain. _

_"I see her all the time and I'm still blown away by her compassion and ability to empathize with people. She trusted me with something really important. She took a leap of faith on me and she didn't have to. It was pretty brave. So not telling her about my cancer felt like lying. Especially when hearing her make mention of plans for her future that included me... let's just say, it didn't make me feel very good. _

_I told her because I knew that I could trust her. And now, I realize that I needed to tell someone. More than that, I needed to tell her. We've become important parts of each other's lives and it was just the right thing to do. Something about telling her made me admit it to myself. And made me think about what I was doing. Or not doing. And where I was and where I want to be in the future._

_When I saw my flashforward, all I could think about was that slice of time. That two minutes and seventeen seconds. For me, that was everything. It was amplified, like tunnel vision. And I couldn't see anything leading up to those moments or anything after that two minutes and seventeen seconds. I couldn't even imagine it. But immediately, I was hopeful and yes, pretty well obsessed with what I'd seen. From suicidal to completely converted hope junkie in 137 seconds. I was living for that moment in time. I pretty much used my flash to abdicate my volition. All I needed was to make it to that point. I choose my current course of treatment based on that even though for my prognosis, it wasn't recommended or a viable clinical standard of care. I was satisfied with that because I was sure that it would get me to that moment. And I was fine whatever ultimate outcome resulted. But, now I'm not._

_I don't know if I'll beat my cancer but I do know that I'm ready to fight it again. For real. These past months, I've just enjoyed my life. I mean, chemo kinda sucks but it's just this thing I have to do and even that doesn't ruin my day. At work I'm... happy and I finally feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Every day it's dynamic and I find I learn a lot from my patients. It's most likely fair to say that before I wasn't paying much attention to the things around me. But I am now and I'm just not ready to give any of it up without a fight. I want more than 137 seconds."_

* * *

Nicole's eyes fluttered open slowly. The room was dark except for the ambient flashes cast by the television. Looking over at the screen, she considered that waking up to Adult Swim on Cartoon Network, even muted, was one of the more disconcerting ways to rejoin the world of the conscious. She wondered what time it was as she looked over at Bryce, who was sound asleep. His breathing was even and quiet and she smiled fondly for a moment at having fallen asleep listening to the rhythm of his heart beat. Steady, reassuring and a thing she could hardly bear consider ending. Her attention was drawn back to the television as the screen went dark for a promo showing the schedule of shows for the remainder of the night.

"It's that late?!" she thought, practically leaping from the bed and stirring Bryce.

"Nicole, you okay?" he asked.

He considered that there was a completely reasonable explanation as to why she was crouched on the floor on the other side of the bed, but he was likely not awake enough to make the necessary obvious connection.

"Yeah. Sorry, I woke you. I didn't realize it was so late. " she whispered.

"It's fine. What're you doing?"

"Nothing. Go back to sleep."

She hoped he would so she could just go and not have to explain her reasons. The first being that the home healthcare aide's shift was over at one and that meant that her mother was alone. Even when she was medicated and sleeping it wasn't a good idea to have her on her own for very long. Nicole knew there was no way to know what she might do should she wake up.

"Only if you'll join me." He held out his hand.

Nicole paused in her search for a moment. "I can't. I have to go."

Bryce was the second, but somewhat more important, reason she had to leave. They'd had a great day together and she'd loved every minute. Too much. So much she was mostly at a loss to think to act in her own best interest, which was how she'd wound up without her shirt and on his bed to begin with. She'd woken up with clarity enough to know that his expressing even slight interest in anything requiring she divest herself of any more clothing would be met with little more resistance than buttons and zippers provided. In the long run, that would just make the inevitable end of their relationship even harder for her to take. She needed to go now.

Bryce reached over and checked his watch. "It's almost two-thirty."

"I know."

"Wait." Bryce began and sat up. "Why don't you just stay?"

"Bryce, I can't. And I can't find my shirt." Nicole said while continuing her search now at the foot of the bed.

Bryce looked around on his side, moving pillows and found her tee shirt on the floor between the bed and the night table.

"Shirt. Got it." he handed it over, still unclear on why she needed to leave.

"Thanks." Nicole grabbed her shirt and pulled it on quickly and remembered her shoes were in the living room.

"Hey, listen. It's late and you really don't have to go." He caught her wrist to delay her. He hoped she'd stay.

"Yeah, I do." she persisted. She wouldn't meet his eyes lest she abandon her resolve to go. His hand encircling her wrist had her halfway there already.

"Maybe I'm just being stupid but, why?"

"Because I just have to, okay?"

"Okay." He decided to leave it because it was clear that she didn't want to talk about it and she wasn't staying. He wondered if it was about her mother but decided that surely she'd just say so if that were the case. That left the possibility that it was about them and that they'd not seen the past day the same way. Either way, that she didn't feel free to tell him is what bothered him most.

She was glad he'd finally let it go as she gathered her things. She managed to convince him she didn't want him to follow her home but couldn't stop him from walking her out to her car. Their kiss _goodnight_ was almost a kiss _I'll stay_ and Nicole was still dizzy when she climbed into the driver's seat. His insistence that she promise to call him when she got home made her smile when the brain haze cleared as she drove. By the time she'd gotten home and replayed the day in her mind she'd decided that even if he wasn't in love with her, he made her feel loved and that was pretty fantastic.


	7. RSVP

**A/N:** Totally don't own. Bryce/Nicole are my choice of action figures. The show's been cancelled but please know that will have no bearing on this story. I've got this fic's April 29th exit plan already outlined. Hell, I almost don't even need to see how it ends on the show now (I'm still spoiler free). In other fic related news, I've left my flashdrive with the in progress Ch 8 in another city a few states away... **GRR!** so I'm going to attempt a redo & post it asap. Wish me luck. Anyway, italic blocks are flashbacks & *italics* are inner monologue. Besos! xoxo

* * *

**Chapter 7: RSVP**

Nicole fumbled with her keys as she walked up to the door. Her thoughts about the day and more importantly the evening she'd spent with Bryce still swirled as she unlocked the door and entered her house. She needed to decide what she'd say to him if he asked what was up with her when she called him. But for the moment, she needed to check and make sure her mother was sleeping soundly.

She entered the kitchen and closed the door behind her. The time display on the microwave was a taunting, glowing reminder of her mistakes that evening. She still couldn't believe she'd fallen asleep let alone slept so long.

"Way too comfortable with him" she thought as she walked through and dropped her bag in one of the kitchen chairs.

She pulled off her jacket and took out her phone to call Bryce to let him know she'd arrived safely.

"It's about time." Paige said from her ambush location across the room.

"Paige!" Nicole looked up, startled by her sister's presence.

"The aide was done at one. Where were you?"

"Sorry. I just lost track of time with my study group."

"Must have been some study session, cause your shirt's on inside out." Paige said with a smirk.

Nicole thought better of what she was going to say in response. She was too tired to argue with Paige right now. Not that it mattered, Paige rarely listened anyway. Nicole listened as Paige continued on when she didn't reply. Just like always. This was how most of their conversations would go, Paige would rant and Nicole would give minimal responses while only thinking what she wanted to really say.

"You know, you didn't call me to tell me you'd be late."

"Sorry. But like I said, it wasn't something I planned." she replied. *"_You don't live here so why would I call you Paige? It's enough to get you to come over at all."*_

"Where in the world has your head been lately, Nicole? You've been seriously preoccupied. You need to get yourself together.' Paige went on, as she grabbed her purse, as she headed for the door.

"I don't know. I know, you're right." she offered. *_"Well forgive me Paige, I've been a little busy with Mom, school, work, volunteering at the hospital and church and damn it I actually had the nerve to cut out some time for some semblance of a social life. Oh and not to mention that I'm still just a bit stressed out about my flashforward and the possibility that I'm living the last days of my life out here!"*_

She actually did feel badly that she'd dropped the ball with getting home on time but Paige was just making a meal of it. But that was nothing new and Nicole just didn't feel like going there with her. Life was too short. Her life was too short.

She locked the door behind Paige and sighed. Paige had been on one of her cleaning tirades, which looked great but always messed with their mother when she saw _her_ order in disarray. It wouldn't look like things had been cleaned up or tidied for Mom, she would see it as an intrusion and a deliberate act to make it out that she was crazy and send her into a panic. It usually took Nicole days to prove that things were really fine and no one had broken in to steal, to give her mother peace of mind, such that it was. She'd told Paige this repeatedly but to no avail. She shook her head at the annoyance of one more thing on a list of things that Paige didn't seem to care about at all.

_A week earlier..._

_"That's just... that can't happen. No." Quinn said in disbelief, tears streaming down her face. _

_Nicole sat across from her feeling exhausted from having told Quinn what she believed was taking place in her flashforward. And she also felt a little guilty._

_"Why didn't you tell me this before?" she asked and wiped away her tears._

_"Because I couldn't tell you. At least not until I saw you. It's not really a Skype kind of conversation."_

_"So all these months you've been walking around with this? Oh my God, Nikki, I'm sorry. I should've been here for you."_

_"It's okay." Nicole assured her. Now crying herself, she reached out to hug Quinn._

_Nicole had suspected that telling those closest to her about what she'd seen and what she feared would feel pretty terrible. Telling either of the Benfords or even Father Seabury had been less difficult even though they knew her. Telling Timothy from Sanctuary was a bit like telling Detective Liefeld. Detached, as there was no deeper prior relationship. She'd been seeking some sort of solace or answer to her dilemma when telling all of them. Though none of the answers offered by anyone had seemed to her the exact solution, she'd been glad to hear them. If nothing else, they'd put a different perspective on what she'd initially thought. More options and multiple interpretations gave her the ability to see that maybe what she thought she saw wasn't what actually was. Or more correctly, would be. What nothing anyone offered was an explanation for what she felt. And she was still trying to work that one out. _

_But telling Quinn was decidedly terrible. Nicole thought telling people who loved you, that you were likely going to die was like some cruel little joke. Their grief or indifference would be readily on display and wholly uncomfortable either way. It reminded her too much of Bryce telling her about his cancer prognosis. There was no good reaction and Nicole could only hope that she hadn't eternally scarred her BFF no matter what ultimately happened. Quinn was more like a sister to her. Paige never even asked her what she saw and that bothered her. Nicole had been glad though to know that at least Quinn was at home with her children in her flash. They were all safe. When Nicole offered what she'd seen, Paige waived it away quickly enough by telling her that she'd simply misinterpreted it. Nicole didn't bother explaining what she'd felt in those moments after that. Asking her mother about her flash was a roll of the dice at best and Nicole wasn't about to try to tell her what she'd seen._

_"No, it's really not. So what did that detective... Liefeld, say?" Quinn asked after she'd gotten her sobbing under control._

_"Not much. I mean, I didn't really have a lot to give him to go on." Nicole explained handing Quinn a handful of tissues from the box between them._

_"But there's something he can do right? Seriously, they can't just have people who've seen this kind of stuff left unprotected and fending for themselves."_

_"I don't know. I've called and left him messages but he just seems really busy._ _Look, I could have misinterpreted what I saw, Quinn. This isn't Minority Report where the Division of Pre-Crime exists. Nothing's actually happened to me yet. Maybe there's something more important going on, that I'm missing." she offered._

_"Well forgive me if I reject the "big picture" bullshit that includes you needing to be murdered by some random asshole and feeling like you deserve it! No way. This whole thing has just been one pile of crap after another. So how is this supposed to work? How can I have seen myself at some party, in some house I don't even recognize, while you're being killed? I mean, if you're telling me this now, then I should know it then, right? Why didn't I feel that in my flashforward? How could I not know? It can't happen. We won't let it." Quinn declared. _

_She'd had enough of just about everything related to the blackout. While her flash hadn't been anything even remotely sad or hugely important, she'd still felt weighed down by the event. So many people had seen terrible things or nothing at all and as the months passed, the stories of people coping or not that came across the news did little to nothing to convince Quinn that there was much good in it. Flash embracing or not, it was all puppets on a string to her. She still couldn't fathom the death toll of that day or the destruction leveled globally. Working for Red Panda Resources gave her someplace to channel her feelings of helplessness in the wake of it all but hearing her best friend recount such a horrific flash was enough to take her right back to feeling adrift and helpless. Millions of people died during the blackout. Quinn personally knew too many. Most were acquaintances from college and work. It was far more than she'd had the personal emotional reserve needed to attend all the funerals and memorials. She'd simply stopped going somewhere along the way. All her close friends and family had been spared. At least she thought they had. But now, knowing what Nicole saw reminded her that there was more grief than gift. And more than anything else, it pissed her off._

_"I don't know what it means or how all this is supposed to work out. I just want to believe that we're all going to be okay. Just promise me you won't say anything to anyone else. I don't feel like explaining this to them and it'll just make all Jamie and Ellie's wedding stuff awkward." _

_"I promise. I won't say a word."_

_"I'm sorry I had to drop this on you."_

_"Are you kidding? As much as it sucks, I'm glad you told me. No way should you have to keep this to yourself. Do you remember how after school we used to balance out the books in our backpacks, so they were pretty equally weighted?"_

_"Yeah, I remember. Sharing the burden."_

_"Well, nothing's changed. You need me to be the pain in the ass to detective Liefeld on the daily, no problem. I'll happily be that girl. I can't walk your path for you, but whatever you need me to do, I'll do it. We'll tag team all this Fate crap." she said with a resolute smile._

_"Thanks, Quinn." Nicole said with fresh tears shining in her eyes._

_"No thanks. Between me & Bryce, we'll keep you well taken care of."_

_"Bryce doesn't know. I didn't tell him exactly what happened in my flash."_

_"Seriously?" Quinn sighed in disbelief. She didn't even want to ask._

##

Nicole yawned as she sent a text to Bryce to let him know she was home safely then turned off her phone. No matter how messed up things were she couldn't fix them at the moment. She just wanted to check on her Mom, go to bed and deal with the rest later.

* * *

Not having had a lot of sleep, Nicole was surprised she felt pretty energetic when she awoke. Before waking her mother, she moved a few things back to the way they were before Paige changed them. Feng shui may have been great for Paige but Nicole knew their mother wouldn't be feeling any calming effects seeing her favorite chair on the other side of the room. She took the magazines out of their carrel and placed them on the table the way her mother preferred them. In descending order by date and then number of pages. That was a good place to begin and at least the two things that would likely upset her the quickest were back to normal. She decided she'd would work on the rest while her mother had breakfast.

As she moved from one task to another, Bryce crossed her mind. She still had no idea what she'd say to him when next they spoke but she knew she'd made the right decision. That she'd no plan for getting a handle on her feelings for him before she let her heart get carried away completely worried her a bit. Every moment with him made her crave one hundred more. Because even against her better judgment, she wanted to go wherever he wanted to take her.

She updated the home health aide when she arrived and got ready to leave. Only then did Nicole realize that she hadn't brought her violin home the night before. She quickly discarded the notion that she could call Bryce about her instrument but skip entirely revisiting her mad dash of the night before. Knowing she could borrow one of Quinn's made avoidance easier and she was relieved. She still couldn't believe she'd let Quinn volunteer her to play. Even loving Jamie and Ellie as she did, Nicole hadn't thought that her agreeing to be a bridesmaid in their wedding would afford her so great an opportunity to embarrass herself. It'd been so long since she'd played seriously that she'd dreaded this whole thing. Had it required her to play live, she'd have begged off for real. But it wasn't and she was still trying to be a good sport about it, reserving her digs for Quinn.

Nicole passed Paige on her way out and ignored her thinly veiled condescension. She told herself she just wouldn't be baited and whatever Paige's problem was, she wasn't going to make it hers. Her list of things to do that day was long enough and she didn't have time for a snarkfest. Instead, she bade her a good day and went on her way.

* * *

When Bryce came across Nicole's violin he called her. Getting her voicemail was disappointing but he forged on just the same, leaving her a message that he'd drop it off at her house. Thoughts of her departure the night before still loomed and he'd yet to fathom any reason that came out as a good thing for them. He'd hoped she would call him back so they could talk but when he found himself sitting outside her house he'd given that up. They were going to do this face to face and if she didn't want to talk to him or whatever, she'd have to just say so and he'd just have to deal.

As he walked up to the house, Bryce thought back to the times when all he had to worry about was his cancer and decided that even though circularly obsessive, these were definitely better days.

"Hi. Is Nicole in?" Bryce asked when Paige answered the door.

"You missed her by about half an hour." Paige replied, wondering who he was.

"Oh, okay. Well, I'm Bryce, a friend of hers and I just wanted to drop this off. She left it at my place last night." he explained.

"Of course she did. You must be the long running study group." Paige surmised.

"The what?" he'd no idea what she was talking about.

"Nevermind. Nicole's with her friend Quinn, supposedly playing without that, on campus. She'll most likely need it. Thornton Conservatory."

Bryce thanked her and wondered if he should call Nicole again. She hadn't called him back and given the way they'd parted he wasn't sure what was going on. Once in the car, he looked at his phone and decided to call.

"Nikki's phone." a familiar voice answered.

"Hi... Quinn?" He asked and began wondering if there was some persistent cosmic blockade keeping him from actually getting to speak with Nicole. Or maybe more simply and likely, she didn't want to talk to him and was avoiding him.

"That's me. Who's this?" asked a voice that was tentative with a hint of hostility.

"Bryce."

"Hey, Bryce." she greeted, her tone now cheerful. "Nikki's stepped out for a moment. You want her to call you back?"

"Um, no. I mean, she can but she doesn't have to. I just, I have her violin and came by her house to drop it off but she isn't home... well, obviously. Anyway, it was suggested that maybe I should drop it off for her there. If she wants me to." he rambled, asking but not.

That Nicole had shown up without her violin and offered no more explanation than she'd simply forgotten it at Bryce's and hadn't time to retrieve it had rung hollow for Quinn. Nicole was more apt to try to downplay the Bryce situation than not but she could never quite manage not smiling when she said his name. And that told Quinn all she needed to know. Now, Quinn smiled at the shared ambivalence of Nicole and Bryce. They couldn't even get out of their own way to get on more than a couple steps.

"You should totally bring her violin to her and you should stick around and listen to her play. She'd love that."

"Are you sure?"

"Dude, trust me. Nothing would make Nikki's day more complete."

"Where is she, by the way?"

"Went to get a bottle of water."

"Okay. Um, well tell her I'll be there soon."

"Absolutely. No probs." Quinn assured, knowing that she'd no intention of telling Nicole a thing.

Bryce hung up feeling more optimistic than ambivalent. He was fairly confident that if he'd done anything to upset Nicole, she'd have told Quinn. He was even more confident that Quinn was the type to tell him where he could go if that were the case. At least that was one worry off his list.

* * *

"Something's off. Do you hear that? What's going on with that G?" Nicole complained and began to check the tension on the strings on the violin she'd borrowed from Quinn.

"That's what you get when you use my cast off. That thing hasn't been played in forever, let alone tuned. Why don't you just call Bryce and have him bring you yours?" she asked, knowing full well that Bryce would be along soon enough.

"Because after last night, I wasn't ready to talk to him yet." Nicole admitted.

"What happened last night?" she asked with a wicked grin.

Nicole only gave Quinn a look in answer as she continued to make adjustments on the violin.

"So, not sex then?" Quinn asked and rolled her eyes.

"Of course not. But we had this amazing day where like, mostly everything was just in sync, ya know? And even with the stuff that was unsaid, it was okay. I loved it and yeah, definitely went way farther than I should've with him. But I couldn't help myself. It's like my brain shuts off and I'm rendered stupid when he kisses me. Anyway, I just knew that if I stayed any longer I'd be starring in my own walk of shame this morning."

"So basically you pulled a Cinderella, leaving the Prince to wonder what the hell is wrong with you... or him."

"Yeah, pretty much."

"You know Nikki, for all this angst you could've just had sex and been done with it."

"Way to take a complicated situation and amplify it by infinity."

"It's better than just obsessing and stressing about it all. Stop over thinking it. Just act like the twenty-somethings you are and get it done already."

"I don't even know why I bother." Nicole shook her head and smiled.

"I'm just saying. You're clearly all about him and it doesn't seem like his diagnosis is having any bearing on the fact that he's still a normal testosterone producing male. Sounds like all systems are go, to me."

"Okay, that's enough about that. I think I've got this good enough for a practice run. You ready?" Nicole said changing the subject.

The two began playing their practice piece. Nicole remembered how she'd loved the feel of the bow in her hand when she'd first learned to play and how her instructor had told her parents that she'd been a natural. It didn't seem so long ago. She would be taken away on each note's rise and fall and loved every minute. But now she could hear her mistakes the loudest. They seemed to spike over the liquidity of Quinn's execution of notes. Nicole corrected herself as they went along and was glad that there was no hint of Quinn playing down to compensate for her. She always could trust her to be honest and that made Nicole work that much harder to hit her notes with better accuracy and smoothness. They finally reached the end of the piece and looped back to the beginning just like they'd done when they were younger, never missing a note. A marathon in duet until they both had the entire thing down.

Neither of them noticed Bryce standing in the doorway. He was taken aback for a moment. Nicole's hidden talent had interested him but when he'd asked her about it she'd waved it away as inconsequential. Now, hearing her play, he wondered why she'd done that. He thought she looked amazing. That same determined look on her face that she wore when she was working on her OChem was present and her hair was braided and pinned up away from her face. Her jaw was set in a determined but not tense line as she played with her eyes closed. That the two of them were playing from memory was pretty cool in his book.

Quinn was the first to open her eyes. She didn't miss a note while flashing Bryce a brilliant smile and nod. She couldn't wait to see the look on Nicole's face.

Nicole opened her eyes as she played her last note and wrecked it completely when she saw Bryce standing in the doorway. Quinn smiled knowingly.

"Bryce!"

"Hey. I didn't mean to interrupt."

"No, it's the end of the... nevermind... um, what're you doing here?" she asked, obviously flustered.

He explained and she listened while Quinn stepped back and made herself busy diligently adjusting her violin though her instrument hardly needed any such sort of attention. She waited as they stumbled through their conversation which was so not about how Bryce came to be there but instead was completely about the unspoken. The night before. It made perfect sense to Quinn now why the two were stuck in neutral. She hoped a bit more privacy would help them out and slipped past them and out of the room.

"So thanks for dropping this off." Nicole said as she noticed Quinn's attempt at a subtle exit.

"Sure. Look I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but last night... we're still good, right?" Bryce ventured. Even if her answer was no, he needed to know.

Nicole had been asked the "Are we good" question before and in it only came up when the guy's main motivation was in getting what he wanted with no strings attached. Bryce asking her that stung.

"Absolutely. We're good." Nicole assured him with a smile.

"Alright. Because I had a really good time and thought you did to. But when you left like that I wondered if..." Bryce trailed off.

"If what?"

"If you'd had second thoughts maybe, about... me."

"Second thoughts about you? Why?" Nicole asked, barely breathing. It'd hardly occurred to her that he'd have any reason to feel insecure with regard to her feelings for him.

"I don't know. You left in kind of a hurry and when you wouldn't say why, I wondered if you'd rethought the whole cancer thing and changed your mind. That conversation we had about my chemo and that clinical trial wasn't exactly the most fun topic of the day. Besides as much as I have to accept it and live with it, it's not something I expect anyone else to sign up for long term. Anyway, that's what I thought and that maybe you just didn't want to say anything. I want you to know that I'd understand if you had. I'd just want to know." Bryce explained, finally relieved to have said it.

He didn't want her to feel like she was locked in. Or that if she ever decided she needed to bail she couldn't, just because he was sick or worse. And more importantly he wanted her to know that she could always be honest with him. He was closer to her than anyone else and knew that had only been possible because he'd trusted her. Which for him, was a big deal so he didn't want anything to ever change that.

"Bryce, I just messed up by staying so late and realized my Mom would be home by herself, so I had to go." she explained quickly. "It wasn't because I wanted to escape you or changed my mind about anything. Honestly, there's hardly anywhere else I'd rather be than with you, no matter what." Nicole assured him and took his hand. "So, no worries. We're really good."

His words came as consolation to her and she put aside her earlier idea of what he'd meant. She still wouldn't tell him her other reason for needing to leave but it didn't matter. All that mattered was the present and holding his hand and tilting her face up to kiss him.

"That just made my whole day." Bryce said when their lips finally parted.

Nicole's response was simply a dazed sigh in agreement.

"So what's up with this violin?" he asked, still holding her close.

Nicole shrugged. "Nothing really. Just this thing I used to do way too long ago."

"I'm impressed."

"What? You thought I just had an appreciation for hip hop and alternative?"

"No. Come on. Seriously. Why didn't you tell me you played?"

"Because I don't. Anymore. Gave it up." she told him, regretfully. "I didn't have the time to devote to it properly and now I'm just... not very good anymore."

"Not that I know what I'm talking about but you sounded great to me. I think it's cool if you're taking it up again."

"Uh, no. I'm definitely not." Nicole shook her head, then raised her voice for Quinn's benefit. "What I have is this friend who basically refuses to let things go, so I'm kind of hijacked into playing now. But it's easier than telling her what a pain she is."

Bryce chuckled and looked from Nicole to Quinn in the corridor walking past the door and mimicking playing a violin requiem for Nicole's burden.

Nicole shot a mock serious glare her way and took a deep breath to explain to Bryce that she was in a wedding and as part of a group collaboration making a special gift for the couple, she and Quinn were tasked with playing a piece of music. After, she was feeling so at ease, still encircled in his arms, that she finally got up the nerve ask something she'd been obsessing and hedging over.

"Hey. So, I wanted to ask you something but I want to make it totally clear upfront that saying no is absolutely okay and not a problem." Nicole attempted to plunge right in.

"Okay." he said with a nod.

"Because it's a lot to ask and a whole thing that I'd totally get someone not wanting to be bothered with."

"Nicole?"

"Hm?"

"Why don't you just ask me whatever it is?" he asked in an attempt to either give her an out or gently prompt her into whatever it was.

"I'm rambling, right? I know. Okay, so that wedding next weekend, I was just wondering if you'd like to go. With me." she finally ventured.

"Yes." Bryce replied simply.

"Yes? Just like that?" She couldn't believe he'd agreed so quickly. It was far too good to be true.

"Just like that." He was glad she'd asked him and thought it fortuitous that it coincided with time he already had off. At the very least one of his three days was accounted for.

"But you don't even know anything about it. How can you just say yes?"

"Fine." he sighed feigned exasperation. "Go ahead and tell me why I don't want to."

"Well, it's not like it's just an afternoon. It's the weekend. And I have to be there Thursday night, so it's more like a three day weekend and you probably don't have that off. Oh, and then there's the whole awkwardness of hanging out with a bunch of people that you don't know."

"Well, I am off and I'm fine with the rest."

"Are you sure?"

"You did want me to say yes, right?"

"Yes. Of course. I know, I don't sound like it, do I? I guess I'm just not used to getting what I want so much." Nicole explained, still a little stunned he'd agreed.

"Well, we'll just have to see what we can do to change that." Bryce said and kissed her again.

Their earlier fears and concerns allayed they took the opportunity to loose themselves in each other for the moment.


	8. Triage

**A/N:** Totally don't own. Bryce/Nicole are my choice of action figures. I know it's been like, 10 days since I updated. So sorry, the muse was fickle & then I was pissed off. It's all on now. Italic blocks are flashbacks. This is the first chapter of _Sync_'s 3rd part:** The Fall**. We all knew this was coming & it hurt me to write it, so I hope you enjoy it. It's April 19, a mere ten days before Fate Date. Besos! xoxo

* * *

**Chapter 8: Triage**

Bryce checked his watch and sighed as he sat in his oncologist's waiting room. He'd known since the week before that everything would come down to this appointment. And while he'd been successful in not obsessing ad nauseum about the what ifs for days, now it was all he could do. He looked at his watch again and tried to relax.

In the past, going all this alone had been one of the most difficult parts of having cancer. Then three things happened. First the blackout. Its happening had undoubtedly saved his life. Literally. And his vision was amazing and gave him hope for life and love... a future. It was the exact opposite of everything his prognosis would dictate and he latched onto it in a way not short of manic. But as great as that prospect was, at the end of the day, he was still alone. There wasn't anyone to talk to, laugh with or sit in companionable silence with. But since Nicole, he hadn't had to exist like that. Even before he'd told her, she'd made his life a bit brighter. She was always there with a smile, a joke or just the encouragement he needed to get him through. They'd just clicked. Now, he wasn't sure she even realized how important a part she'd played in his life back then. He still wasn't so good about asking for her help but he tried to protest a little less when she offered it. The truth was that whenever she showed up during his chemo sessions she made him smile. Her presence was enough to make him forget all his reservations, even if just temporarily. He thought about calling Nicole just to hear her voice but quickly decided against it. He knew that she'd come and wait with him and while that would be awesome on one hand, he currently wasn't in the best of moods and depending upon the news he received could be in an even worse mood. For the moment, thinking of her would have to be enough to keep him grounded.

_Thursday_

_"Seriously? You're eating my cupcake?" Nicole asked Bryce as she climbed back into the car._

_They'd only a couple hours drive remaining before arriving in Monterey and stopped at a rest stop. The late afternoon sky was a blaze of orange hues against blue as they made their way to the seaside town._

_"Wait, you said you didn't want it." he said, truly surprised._

_"Selective hearing much? I said I didn't want it right now." Nicole protested lightly because she didn't really mind._

_"Sorry. I'll owe you." Bryce offered. "But you did pretty much polish off the strawberries all by yourself."_

_"We totally shared those."_

_"I had one." he said with a raise eyebrow._

_"One is still sharing." Nicole maintained with a smile._

_"Okay then, let's share the cupcake." he suggested, tossed the fork back into the box and held up the confection. _

_Nicole closed her eyes and leaned forward to take a bite but was met instead with a kiss._

_"Well that confirms it." Bryce said when the broke apart._

_"What?"_

_"That you're my favorite flavor."_

_Grinning, she impulsively pulled him in for another kiss by his collar. It was the beginning of a great weekend._

* * *

Nicole had gotten up early and been busy around the house all morning. She was home alone because her mother was with Paige until the next day. She missed her mother but this did give her time to blaze through a good many chores undistracted and unfettered. She took care of laundry and decided to unpack her bags.

Nicole's mind wandered as she unpacked her bags from the weekend, pulling out favors and mementos. She hadn't been able to stop smiling since she'd gotten back and she loved the feeling. Things had been pretty nearly perfect and that place in the back of her mind where her insecurities hung out was curiously silent. She'd told herself before the weekend that she simply would not entertain any worries, she would enjoy herself and be present in the moment. She took Quinn's advice and stopped measuring herself against Bryce's epic flash. That he'd chosen to be in her company so much had to count for a lot. And they always had a good time. He wasn't staying around because he had to, he wanted to. So that must count for something. She told herself that her worry about not being able to live up to Bryce's flash wasn't so important after all. Letting go of wondering if she was enough or the need to live up to anything made her think that things could really work out.

She laid the garment bag containing her bridesmaid's gown over a chair in her bedroom and smiled. The time with her best girlfriends celebrating the biggest day in one of their lives was just about the best highlight of her life since the blackout. That she'd had the opportunity to share that same weekend with Bryce was better than sublime.

She'd been surprised that they'd even talked about a couple important things amidst the whirlwind of the weekend. During the beach bonfire on Friday night, she'd finally told him all about her flash and felt better for it and he explained what was going on with his chemo course and the clinical trial. She was glad he'd chosen to spend his time with her during his weekend wait for his results.

As she put away her luggage, she checked the time and thought of him. She wanted to call but was sure he was already in with his doctor. She'd wait for him to call her later and she said a quick prayer for things to work out for the best. His chances for the clinical trial all hinged on how well a job the recent chemo course had done in keeping his cancer from progressing any further and Nicole was sure that given good news, she'd never think of the words _containment and maintenance_ as lacking ever again. June 14th had become as important to her as April 29th as soon as Bryce had told her that was the start date of the clinical trial's next phase. She'd already started to count down the days.

But for now, she needed to drop her dress off at the cleaners on her way to meet Quinn for coffee. On her way in to the hospital, she'd stop and pick up Bryce's favorite cupcakes. No matter his test results, he'd be glad she got them.

* * *

Nicole stared at the picture and reread the name again. It was definitely Keiko. There was no denying it. And she was at the Immigration Detention Center. Nicole closed the file and placed the whole stack in a bin behind the nurses station. Her hands were shaking and she needed fresh air. She walked out of the hospital and didn't stop until she found herself standing by her car in the parking garage.

She would have to tell him. And then what? The nauseous feeling she felt at that thought told her she knew what. She knew exactly what would happen. He'd leave her and choose Keiko. Her file had said she worked for some robotics engineering firm in Japan. She'd come all this way for Bryce like he'd taken off to find her months ago. To Nicole, it seemed far more grand and epic than the happenstance of she and Bryce meeting and the sheer ordinariness of their being reintroduced. Keiko wasn't just Epic Flash Woman anymore, now she was Epic Flash Damsel in Detention Distress. Even more beyond what Nicole could compete or measure up with. Fate had sent the message directly to her in bold type and underscored it twice. It was more than intimidating. It was worse than cruel.

But maybe none of what she felt mattered ultimately. Maybe Fate really was to be served with regard to Bryce and Keiko and her part was either as an obstacle or an instrument to that end. She wondered what it all meant. Bryce had stopped even talking about Keiko as he and Nicole had gotten even closer. And if he was ready to move on and let it go, was the onus really on her to push him in that direction?

"Self-serving much, Nicole?" she asked herself and mulled over her dilemma more.

She was in love with him and she liked to think he felt the same way about her. But then again, he didn't have the Keiko information. And what kind of person would she be if she kept that from him? He trusted her, so why not trust him back? And what was that little cliche about true love? That if you really loved someone you'd ultimately want them to find happiness even if it wasn't with you. That's how it went, right?

She sighed and though it cut deep, knew her decision was made. As soon as she saw him, she'd tell him. All she needed to do was tell him quickly so they could get to the after part where she wouldn't have to worry about whatever die Fate cast next.

* * *

She was going to tell him. She had the file in her hands with Keiko's information and she told him that she had something to tell him. He was beyond happy and she had a fleeting thought about his test results.

He heard what she'd said but couldn't focus on anything but her mouth. He didn't want to talk. There wasn't anything so important that it couldn't wait. He wanted to hold her close and kiss her. It was what he'd been waiting to do for hours. So he did.

Still stunned from their kiss, she listened as he told her about his great news and she was thrilled. His chemo has done what was needed and things looked better than good for his chances to get into the clinical trial. Hope had won the day.

There were a million things he wants to tell her. About how he felt about her, what she'd meant to him through all this and that when he'd dared to think about years far off, she was always a part of the picture. Instead, he'd told her that all that mattered was the two of them and that they were together. They were real and so was what they felt. He didn't want to go a day without her name on his lips and the taste of her on his tongue.

The warmth of his embrace and his kiss pulled at her heart so much that she just wanted to hold onto the moment with him. He kissed her again and said he wanted to take her out to celebrate. She agreed hazily and she didn't tell him about Keiko. She couldn't. She decided to bail on the extra volunteer shift & gave the files back with apologies. Fate seemed to be taking another turn and she decided to go with it.

* * *

Their evening out together was filled with laughter and levity and they were still laughing as they entered Bryce's house.

"Hey, I wanted to tell you something." His tone serious as he took her hand.

"What'd you want to tell me?" Nicole asked, gazing up at him expectantly.

""That I had a great weekend and that today after getting my test results, you were the first person I thought of. I couldn't wait to tell you. To see you. To kiss you. I wished I'd asked you to be there, to share the moment. All these months, I've come to realize that with you, good moments are great and bad moments are not so bad. You make everything better just by being you. And I'm really lucky to have you."

"I'm lucky to be had."

"I also realized that I needed to say something else to you."

"What?"

"That I love you.

"You do?" she managed barely above a whisper. It was the one thing she'd been wanting and hoping for.

"Yes. Of course. I didn't say it before because I was afraid to. But not anymore." He admitted, glad he'd finally told her.

"I love you to." she said and kissed him. "I'm glad you got over your fear."

"Fear is yesterday. That's not our present and not our future. I'm going to do everything I can to get better and everyday, find a way to make you smile. And I know you're scared about what you saw in you flash, but you don't have to be. I promise you, on April 29th we'll be together. Someplace dry. No one's going to hurt you."

They kissed again and Bryce pulled her closer by a belt loop on her skirt. They kept kissing and he picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. She giggled still kissing him. They fell back on the bed and kept up their pace. They kissed so hard, Nicole cut her tongue on his teeth. She didn't flinch or care and even when the coppery taste slid between them, they only kissed deeper and longer.

Nicole felt like she was in free-fall and didn't care at all that her clothes seemed to be falling off like she'd not gotten dressed properly to begin with. Everything was unravelling and threatened to sweep her away. Being with Bryce was fantastically inevitable and terrifying at the same time. That feeling had been chasing her, teasing her, haunting her. She'd felt at one time like she'd be able to escape it, but she knew now, she really wouldn't. She never could. And even the knowledge and anticipation of the crash of them, at the end when everything shattered... because she knew it would have to at some point, wasn't enough to deter her. The hope that they wouldn't and everything would be just fine in the end clung to her and mixed with every kiss and touch. And she fell heart first. Dizzy. Scared. Exhilarated. Alive.

Her hands slipped under his shirt and as she began to pull it up was met with a slight tug of resistance. Nicole broke their kiss and searched his face for an explanation.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just um..." he trailed off.

She understood. "Your central line. You don't have to be embarrassed?"

"I just don't want anything to wreck the mood."

"It doesn't wreck the mood. It works to keep you here and get you better and that's a pretty great thing. Not embarrassing and not off-putting."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me. I love you, so I just see you."

He ditched his shirt without a second thought and kissed her. They lost track of everything outside of the two of them and existed in a space where time was measured and remembered in other terms. Her legs entwined with his and slick with sweat. His hands trailing up her back and neck to her hair pulling her down. Both of them twisted in sheets and entangled with each other they traded soft moans and whispered declarations across the darkness of the night. Her lips blazing a trail across his neck. His arms holding her so close he could feel her heart beat. They begrudgingly fell to the demands of sleep but didn't let go. Incoherencies were whispered as they drifted off still caught in a tangled mess of sheets and each other.

Bryce awoke later, Nicole still quietly asleep beside him. He couldn't believe how amazing she was and how she seemed to be able to continually surprise him. Having found love with Nicole was something that wasn't just as important as what he saw in his flash, it was more important. His flash was a slice of time. A moment. With no hint of how things would go ultimately no matter what he felt. But his and Nicole's relationship wasn't built on a moment, it was built on many of them and cobbled together little by little. And it was real not a question. It was actual, not possible. She knew about his cancer and not only didn't it deter her, she was actually inclined to help in any way she could. That was a pretty big deal to him. He didn't let people in but he'd taken a chance with her and everything had been okay. Better than okay. He remembered how his family had been when his father was dying, and knew that not everyone was able to stand the stress of it. He understood and didn't begrudge anyone that. But it was amazing to him that Nicole was one of those people who looked at the situation and decided she'd rather be there with him no matter how things went, than without him. He liked that the journey wasn't less important than the possible end. He admired her ability to leap into the unknown and take a chance on him.


	9. Hemorrhage

**A/N:** Totally don't own. Bryce/Nicole are my choice of action figures. This chapter took some time because I found the actuality of Bryce's reaction & the attendant consequences of ditching Nicole to be extreme to say the least. Like, I couldn't even see where he was coming from & frankly, I didn't want to explore it. Hopefully I've been able to eek out some semblance of understanding where his outrage stems from in this fic... I'll leave the show to others so inclined. This time italics are a letter. (Not so)Happy April 29! Besos! xoxo

* * *

**Chapter 9: Hemorrhage**

"I can't even believe you. How could you do that?" Bryce looked at her and couldn't believe that she'd lied to him.

"I'm sorry." Nicole pled, crying.

"Sorry doesn't cover this, Nicole!"

"I know. I should've just told you when I found out but you said our flashes didn't matter and I wanted to believe it so badly, I just... I didn't say anything."

"That's maybe good for that moment, but it's not like you told me the truth after."

"I... just wanted you. So much. And it just took me a few days to work it out to tell you. And I'm sorry. I just don't want you to hate me, cause that'd be worse than anything..."

"Work it out? You lied and you kept up the lie. Because you didn't trust me enough to be honest with me. What else have you lied about?"

"Nothing."

"What you told me about your flash, was that true?"

"Yes, of course. You think I'd lie about that?"

"How could I possibly know? You've been lying about Keiko and I couldn't tell."

"You know me." The desperation she felt bled though as it became clear that the balance of their relationship up to this point had been cancelled out in his mind.

"Really? I never knew that you were this person who'd lie, scheme and manipulate to get what you want. You didn't come clean today because it was the right thing to do or because you trust me and our relationship. Not even our friendship. You told me because you wanted to absolve your guilt! So no, I don't know who you are, but you're obviously not who you've pretended to be."

He'd trusted her and this was the result. She'd left Keiko in Immigration detention and played it cool with him the entire time. She'd been unchanged all along and he'd no reason to think anything had gone amiss. Amiss was an understatement. That he'd been so wrong about their relationship was more than infuriating. She'd played him, it was as simple as that.

She couldn't find words anymore to give voice to. There wasn't anything more to say, she could tell by the way he was looking at her. Like she'd suddenly transformed into something he didn't recognize as they stood in the driveway. He wasn't going to hear anything that she could offer to explain her reasons. None of it mattered. Not now.

Bryce climbed into the car.

"Where are you going?" Nicole asked, wiping away tears.

"I thought maybe one of us should try and see if there's anything that can be done for Keiko."

He couldn't look at her. Though furious, there was a part of his heart that seeing her cry tore at and he just couldn't deal with it. He told himself that he couldn't know if this was just another card she was playing and he resolved not to be her pawn anymore. He told himself that all of this was the way it was supposed to be. That this was the moment that was putting him back on course to meet Keiko. He hadn't logically worked out the feelings part of his flash but maybe that wasn't what was most important. He had to go and see it through.

* * *

As she watched him drive away she felt like she'd lived this moment before. So many different scenarios had run through her mind in the last week but they had all ended the same way. With him walking away. So that was it. They were over. And the really messed up thing was that she knew it would happen. She'd known that there was no way in this universe that she'd be able to actually sustain a relationship with Bryce. She'd never have lived up to his flash. She'd accepted it. Despite his declarations and words of assurance that he wanted her all along the way, she tried to tell herself that this was just a temporary thing. But the problem was that she didn't want to be temporary. Not really. Not at all. And while she fully participated in her moment with Bryce, the truth was that she'd really just wanted her moment to last longer. Like infinitely.

She regretted having slept with him now, because there was always a penalty, a cost to be paid for your sins & she was pretty sure this was it. That she'd ultimately been the architect of sabotage made it hurt no less and her tears fell freely as she sobbed.

She waited for him for a while but then accepted that he wasn't coming back and if he did, she most likely wouldn't be who he'd want to see. She regained her composure and tried to call Quinn but phone lines were sketchy and she couldn't get her. Messages that satellites were on overload or signals missing altogether were all she could get back. Mobile service had fallen casualty to the global Flashforward party.

_"Dear Bryce,_

_I tried to call you but couldn't get through. It's just as well. I know you're mad at me and don't want to talk to me right now and I understand that. But I just wanted to tell you a couple things... in case I can't after tonight. So here goes... I want you to know that I'm really glad I got to know you and that these last six months have been really great. Excepting the obvious, I wouldn't change a thing. And I know that what I did was wrong and selfish, but I was just so in love with you... and so afraid to loose you. But I did anyway or... maybe you were never mine. I'm sorry I wasn't a better friend and wish that I hadn't let my insecurities get in the way. Anyway, I didn't do what I did to hurt you... either of you. I wasn't trying to ruin your life, so I really do hope things turn out like you want. Keiko's really lucky and I know you're going to have a spectacular life, because you should. I hope you'll be able to forgive me someday and maybe remember some of the good times we had. Because everything I said to you was real. Everything I felt for you, was real. And if you can remember those moments maybe you'll be able to see, that you did know me. _

_Always, Nicole"_

She rested the pencil atop the page and thought about what she'd written. It seemed like she should say so much more but any words she came up with felt woefully inadequate. She decided to leave it as it was. There was no fixing what she'd done, certainly not by anything she could say. The nervous feeling she'd had in her stomach all day had changed into an ache. She'd hoped the nervous feeling would have gotten better after she divulged the truth but this wasn't better. It was as if her guilt had settled there and was gnawing at her. The truth was supposed to unburden and uplift but Nicole wasn't feeling anything close to either.

She gathered her jacket and handbag and left. She just wanted to go home, crawl into bed and pull the covers over her head. She tried not to think of the fact that she would more likely wind up with water pooling overhead before night's end. She still had no idea how that was supposed to happen but she was clear on why she felt the way she had in her flash and that realization brought on a dull headache.


	10. Escape Velocity

**A/N:** A little peeved about how Bryce turned out in the end on the show? In need of some ficcage fix to rectify the shit retcon leading to the character assassination of the Bryce we came to know over 20.5 episodes? Herein lies solace. Italics are flashback & flashforward. Also, I've written up the perspective theory of the Flashforwards that _Sync_ is taking & it's in my LJ (link in profile). It's basically an explanation of why we've arrived at what takes place in this chapter when the big moment plays out & tries to minimize paradox. If you're so inclined to read it, pls read this chapter first. As always, thx in advance for reading & reviewing. Besos! xoxo

* * *

**Chapter 10: Escape Velocity**

**April 29, 6:00 PM PST**

On her way home, Nicole tried to reconcile her feelings. It seemed very likely that people's flashes were indeed going to come true. Even if not by want of result. Bryce was already off on the final leg of his rendezvous with Fate. The inevitability of her own flash coming true had been something she'd been trying to offset for months. She'd wanted to be positive and proactive. Live her life in a way that even if what she had seen in her flash was what happened, her feelings about it would be different. But that hadn't worked out the way she'd intended at all. And now she wasn't even sure that hiding out in the house until the next day would grant her a reprieve from her flash. One of her more extreme scenarios reasoned that even if it meant breaking in and drowning her in the bathtub, the guy from her flash would probably be there at the appointed time to do it. So just in case that's how things worked out, she had a few things she needed to take care of first.

Judy, her mother's home healthcare aide greeted her when she walked in. She told Nicole that her mother was a bit on the medicated side and in her bedroom resting. Nicole thanked her for always being so great with her mother. Other than Nicole, she was the person who spent the most time with her and Judy never made it seem like it was just a job to her. And the times when Nicole couldn't reach her mother, Judy could. Nicole remembered that months ago, Judy had told her that in her flash, she was watching FlashForward Day coverage from around the world on television in the Kirby's living room. Nicole hadn't thought much about that before but now it made her glad to know that at least her mother would be safely at home when the hour arrived.

Nicole walked down the hall and opened the door to her mother's room, slightly.

"Mom?" Nicole whispered, hoping she was awake but not wanting to wake her if she wasn't.

"I've had my medicine." her mother answered back softly.

Nicole could tell from her voice that she was pretty well sedated. After all these years, she still wasn't sure this was better than her unmedicated.

"I know. I just wanted to see you." Nicole replied and came to sit by her mother on the bed.

She frowned. "You shouldn't be here."

"Okay, I'll go and let you rest."

"I'll see you tomorrow, butterfly. When you find your wings." Her mother patted her hand softly and closed her eyes.

"I love you, Mom." Nicole said, hoping like always that at least some of reality got through.

Closing the door behind her as she slipped out of the room, Nicole found some solace in being able to tell her mother she loved her. No matter how things turned out, it was a good thing to have done. She went to her bedroom and sent Quinn an email. Servers and ISPs were jammed and causing serious delays in delivery but she was pretty confident Quinn would get her message before tomorrow. She promised her that she'd make sure she was in as safe a place as she could find but that no matter what happened, she didn't want Quinn to worry or be sad. She wanted her to remember all the great times they'd had in life and a couple of weeks ago before she headed back to Sydney. She told her about what she'd done and how things had wound up with she and Bryce. And when she finished her message on a hopeful note for Quinn's benefit and sent it, she was glad she hadn't done this over the phone because she was crying all over again.

That she'd finally opened the email she'd received from Quinn the day before with pictures from the wedding was most likely not the best idea. Seeing she and Bryce laughing and smiling with the rest of her friends was bittersweet. It reminded her of just how happy they'd been and how terribly she'd messed up. That six months earlier she'd sought to put herself on a course of atonement and redemption for unknown sins only to wind up where she was made her wonder if she'd been damned from the start.

_A week earlier..._

_She hadn't realized it was missing until she'd finished showering and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror as she towel dried her hair. The familiar glint of her cross catching the light as it hung around her neck was absent. She had to find it._

_"You, on your knees searching for things in this room, is becoming a recurring theme in my life." Bryce said as he stood in the doorway with two cups of coffee. He smiled at the sight of her wrapped in a towel._

_"Me, loosing things I need in this room, is my recurring theme." she replied, still searching._

_He sat the cups on the dresser. "What is it you seek this time?"_

_"Um, my cross. The one I always wear. It must've come off when... last night." She was trying not to think about how to reconcile the events of the past evening in relation to object of her current search. _

_'Well then, I'm sure we'll find it." Bryce assured her and knelt down. "You already checked the bed?" _

_"Not yet." _

_He wondered why she hadn't begun her search in the most obvious place but didn't ask and took to the search himself. She seemed to have the search on the floor well taken care of. It wasn't long before the cross fell out of the linens as he unraveled them and landed on a pillow._

_"Here it is." he said and held it up by its delicate chain. _

_"Oh, thank you." she said as she stood up. She was relieved._

_"Come here. I'll put it back where it belongs." _

_Nicole turned around and pulled her hair up while Bryce slipped the chain back into place on her neck. He wondered if she regretted the night before. He hoped she didn't but knew how much the whole religion thing meant to her. He was just glad she hadn't taken to another dash away in the middle of the night._

_"Thanks." She touched the cool metal, glad to have it back. _

_"No problem. But now, breakfast is waiting." _

_She smiled. "I thought I smelled pancakes."_

_She knew without a doubt that he had her heart and she couldn't let him go. She'd told herself that if she could just have that one night with him she'd be able to tell him about Keiko, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. If anything, the night before had made it harder to let him go. She just wanted him for a little longer. _

_"Guilty as charged. So the only question remaining, is where you'd like to eat them?"_

_"What are my choices?"_

_"Here or at the table. Your current attire is appropriate for both. This is a casual dining establishment."_

_She laughed and made her choice. He kissed her, told her he loved her and went to serve her breakfast. _

_She loved him. He loved her. And why she should just let go? They were happy and who was to say that wasn't Fate? Or somehow cosmically ordained? She was absolutely torn. She didn't want to let go but she also couldn't shake the feeling that something would happen and destroy what they had. He'd hate her and she'd lose him anyway. He'd made her life as close to normal as it had ever been and she was happy. She was scared and reluctant to give him or that up. Flash or no, she loved him now. She'd known him for months and couldn't turn off her feelings with a switch. She'd been telling herself that all that mattered was the moment but now she looked back and all she could see was an amalgam of those moments. Moments held together by love, acceptance, trust and common ground. It wouldn't be one moment tossed away, no matter how epic, it would be an entire relationship thrown away. The thought of that happening made the pancakes and berries a little hard to swallow._

**ooo**

Nicole wiped her tears away and leaned across her desk to grab a few more tissues from the box. Her sleeve brushed one of her notebooks and it fell off her desk onto the floor. She leaned over to pick it up and put the papers that had fallen out back inside when the Sanctuary flyer caught her eye.

She remembered what Timothy had said "A place where we can be safe. Where there's no threat. No danger".

* * *

**April 29, 7:32 PM PST**

Bryce had gone with the information Nicole had on Keiko, to the Immigration Detention Center in Lancaster. He didn't really have a plan, only a general idea that there had to be something he could do to try to rectify the situation. If nothing else, maybe he could get a message to her that he knew she was there and contact her family or help get her legal counsel. Traffic was noticeably horrendous and the trip took longer than usual.

But when he'd arrived he found, she'd already been released and was deported. He felt badly that this was how it had all turned out, though he was glad that she was at least no longer in custody. That she'd come all this way to find him & wound up in detention added an element of guilt to his conflicted thoughts. He'd no idea what had happened that caused her to be detained but that he'd been central to her trip made him feel a sense of obligation to her. That he'd let go of what he'd seen in his flash after falling in love with Nicole added that much more to that feeling. The knowledge that Nicole had intentionally withheld information that could possibly have hastened Keiko's release topped it all off and was what had driven him to make it right. But now, his chance was gone.

Stuck in traffic after leaving the detention facility, he'd nothing but more time to think. He was still pissed and conflicted about Nicole. The memory of their last conversation crossed his mind as well as the knowledge that each passing minute brought them closer to the much anticipated hour. And for Nicole it was dreaded anticipation. The knowledge of her fears made him uneasy. For all his assurances to her that they wouldn't bear out, now that he wasn't with her, he was worried. In his anger when leaving, the prospect that he might not meet up with her in time never crossed his mind. He looked at his phone and decided to try and call her. He knew signals had been sketchy all day but he kept trying and finally got one. The call went straight to voicemail after a message from the service provider about the overloaded system & assurances that the message left would be delivered as soon as possible.

"Hey, Nicole, it's me. It's just after seven-thirty. I know this whole thing is crazy but we need to talk. When you get this message you most likely won't be able to call me back but I'll be at Oomasa. I thought we could do at least one thing we planned for tonight and I know you love that place. So, please meet me. And whatever happens... stay dry."

He disconnected and sighed in annoyance at the standstill traffic. A report on the radio informed of a multi vehicle accident further up the route and estimating an additional hour and a half delay. Bryce slammed his steering wheel in exasperation. The flashforward, the women, the traffic, his whole day was devolving into one massive clusterfuck and he decidedly wasn't a very big fan of Fate if this was how it was going to deal.

* * *

**April 29, 8:29 PM PST**

Nicole had been at the Sanctuary service for well over an hour listening to Timothy's sermon and various testimonials of people who now followed him. She'd come in search of redemption and absolution and found a group of people who were embracing and looking forward to their futures. She listened and was moved by the happiness and peace that people seemed to have and the idea that all things were redeemable. That even in the darkest moments, there was a light and people just needed to find it. That's what salvation was. That light and belief in it. That hope that things could get better. But one had to make that choice to take the leap of faith. That was the way out of fear and pain. It all spoke to Nicole on many levels & when the call came asking for people who were willing & wanting to make that leap of faith by baptism to please step forward, Nicole did without reservation. Her flashforward crossed her mind. She thought that Timothy must have been right about her being baptized and not drowned after all. And as she changed into the gown she was to be baptized in, she thought about the path she'd taken to this point. Maybe she hadn't been damned, just lost.

While waiting in line she met a young woman named Chelsea. She told Nicole briefly about her life and what led her to Sanctuary. She'd actually seen herself queued up in line waiting to be baptized in her flash. She'd never been religious before or even very spiritual but the flashforward changed all that. She was on a search for enlightenment and greater meaning in her life and she'd found Sanctuary. And now she couldn't wait for the feel of the water on her skin to wash away her past self. She was ready for her new life to begin. Nicole was moved by Chelsea's enthusiasm and told her she couldn't wait to see Chelsea's face after her transformation. She just knew it was going to be everything the young woman anticipated. Her flash had led her here. So much of the evening had been witnessing people who weren't afraid. Some had seen themselves at this place at the appointed time and others hadn't but chose this place as their destination. Nicole was glad she was there to share in the experience that evening and looked forward to feeling forgiven.

* * *

**April 29, 9:45 PM PST**

Bryce arrived at Oomasa and remembered that this was the place he'd first kissed Nicole. They'd stood right outside and she'd just explained her gremlins metaphor. He'd thought her absolutely irresistible. Something about that night, it hadn't mattered what she said or what she did, she was wholly captivating. She'd wanted sushi and had told him that she loved this restaurant. She'd raved a good bit about the sashimi and the green tea ice cream. They'd wound up elsewhere that night, but he had promised her later that he'd come here with her. Before everything had gone south with their planned day, this was where they were supposed to have dinner. He considered the irony that in his flash he saw himself in a sushi restaurant and on this day planned to be in the same type of place. The same type of destination with two different women. One foreseen and one planned. He was sure the foreseen now would not happen. He checked his watch, hoped that the planned would and entered the restaurant.

* * *

**April 29, 9:58 PM PST**

Nicole still felt plenty of guilt for what she'd done to Bryce and Keiko as she approached the baptistery. She was truly contrite and held to the faith that even if Bryce couldn't forgive her, God could. She could atone for her all of her sins and everything would be alright. Her flash crossed her mind as she stepped into the water but she didn't feel fear. Instead she felt like everything would be okay.

The man performing the baptisms was not the man she'd seen in her flash. She wondered if that meant she'd avoided what she'd seen after all. He smiled and asked her if she was ready. She nodded and and said yes. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes just before being immersed and then she was under. She felt the water pool above her head and suddenly a weight pushing her down. She opened her eyes and saw her baptizer above her. She tried to push up but couldn't achieve leverage before reaching the bottom of the pool and hitting her head. With the bottom as resistance she was able to extricate herself and tried to pull the man up as well but she couldn't get a decent grip. She needed air and her head hurt. She felt hands grab at her and she began to panic. She thrashed, realized this was her flashforward come true. This was how she'd pay for her sins and then she was gone.

* * *

Bryce sat in the booth and suddenly realized that this was the place. The restaurant he'd seen in his flash. It was never in Japan to begin with. It was here. He'd found his way to the place he'd seen after all. It was startling and left him wondering what was going to happen next.

He looked up, utterly shocked as Keiko stood there with a guitar case over her shoulder.

"You're really here." he said.

She smiled and the moment unfolded.

**ooo**

Nicole awoke gasping for air. She opened her eyes, startled and looked at the man above her.

"You're okay, ma'am. Just lay still. What's your name?"

"Ni-Nicole." she managed to choke out while trying to grasp her bearings.

"You're going to be okay, Nicole." he told her and wrapped a blanket around her.

"What... what happened?" she asked and sat up.

"You passed out in the water. The man baptizing you suffered a medical emergency. You're gonna be okay."

"I thought... I thought I was going to die."

"You got pulled down when he collapsed. You couldn't break the surface. I tried to get a hold of you, but you were fighting me, I lost my grip and then you passed out." he explained.

"You saved me."

"Yeah. It's amazing, in my flashforward, I saw a woman drowning that I thought I'd been too late to save. I guess I was wrong, because you're okay."

"You saw me?" she asked still shocked and coughing.

That she'd misread her flash all this time began to circulate in her mind. She hadn't died, just passed out. And the man she'd long feared would harm her had actually saved her.

"What's your name?" she asked and noticed he was wearing some type of uniform. It was familiar but she couldn't place it.

"Ed."

She nodded and as the minutes passed her head felt clearer. She stood and clutching the blanket around her and walked over an area with chairs. Chelsea ran over to make sure she was okay. Nicole assured her she was and still very excited to see her baptism and she would be standing nearby and watching as it happened. The man who'd fallen ill while baptizing Nicole was taken away on a stretcher and Nicole noticed the paramedics uniforms. It all made sense now, why she'd seen Ed at the hospital that day. He was a paramedic.

* * *

**April 29, 10:13 PM PST**

Phones all over the restaurant began going off simultaneously with an incoming message. Bryce, like everyone else, read and couldn't believe it. Another blackout. It was going to happen all over again even though the government had made assurances that it couldn't. At 10:14. People were being told to get into positions of safety to minimize injury and death. All networks were being overridden with the outgoing message so the ability to make calls and send messages would be temporarily unavailable. Expressions of people all around ranged from happy to anxious and scared as the seconds ticked away.

Bryce looked across the table at Keiko with a reassuring smile. Everyone was laying or sitting down. Bryce and Keiko laid down in their booth. He hoped Nicole was safe and anticipated that as soon as this blackout was over, he'd have to head over to the hospital. There wasn't nearly enough time to warn everyone.

"We'll be okay." he assured Keiko and they clasped hands just as everything went dark

**ooo**

A light bulb in a lamp high above the stage exploded causing a brief shower of sparks but Timothy didn't miss a beat in his sermon and the congregation seemed appreciative, standing and clapping in response to his words. Nicole turned her attention to the baptistery just as Chelsea went under. She smiled with happiness for her and began to clap in congratulation just as everything went black.

* * *

_**April 29, 10:14 PM PST**_

_She smiles that smile that always comes before a giggle. The wind lifts her dark tresses in passing and lets them settle again._

_"I love you too. Always." he says and kisses her._

_Snowflakes are falling but she's not cold. _

_His hands are warm and they hold hers._

_"This was the best day of my life." She tells him and they kiss again._

_A stronger wind tousles her hair and he catches the strands with a finger and tucks them behind her ear. His thumb runs across her eyebrow. There's a scar there. _

_"Wait till tomorrow." he says._

_She smiles as his hand caresses her face and falling snow swirls around them._

_She wraps her arms around him and leans in to whisper in his ear. "Wow. Right down to the snow."_

_There's chiming and laughter nearby. _

_They kiss again._


	11. Crossmatch

**A/N:** So we've now crossed Zero Hour & the show's finale, but the story hasn't ended for our couple. And I'm seriously hoping that the way the show ended hasn't killed their micro-fandom altogether, leaving me the only chica still caring about the pairing. Italic blocks are flashforward. Besos! xoxo

* * *

**Chapter 11: Crossmatch**

_**April 29, 10:14 PDT**_

_She opens the door and he's there. She'd hoped he would be._

_"I thought you had the late shift tonight." she says, smiling as he hands her a bouquet of white, lavender and orange roses._

_"I switched at the last minute." he says._

_"Why?" she knows, but she just wants to hear him say it._

_"Because spending tonight with you is worth two weeks of overnights. Congratulations."_

_She grins. They kiss and she knows it's already a perfect night._

_**April 29, 10:16:30 PM PDT**_

Nicole opened her eyes and for a few seconds didn't know where she was. She was laying on the cold floor but that wasn't where she'd been. Her head hurt and something on the floor was wet. She closed her eyes and lifted her head to look around. She remembered where she was. Sanctuary. And seeing other people all around waking up, she knew it must have all happened again. They'd said it wouldn't happen again. That it couldn't. But it had.

She sat up and realized she was bleeding. She ran the back of her hand across her right eyebrow felt a jolt of pain. She wiped her hand her gown and decided to stand up. She groggily noticed a scattering of glass on the floor around her and wondered where it came from. People all around were coming to. Timothy was awake and calling to his congregation from his podium on the stage. Nicole's gaze finally settled on the baptistery. She could see Ed and another man pulling someone out of the water. Her heart sank when she realized it was Chelsea. She didn't look very good and from where Nicole stood she could see that Chelsea's lips were blue. She wondered just how long everyone had blacked out this time and she prayed that the young woman would be alright.

While watching the resuscitation effort, Nicole realized that what she feared would be her own fate had now become Chelsea's reality. And Chelsea had never seen it coming. Nauseated by that thought and the whole situation she staggered back and leaned on the wall. Stunned and guilt stricken, she tried to catch her bearings through a bout of dry heaves. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Everything that evening had been so hopeful and going so well. She'd found she'd misinterpreted her own flash and she'd been fine after all. Everything had worked out for her. Well, mostly everything. The thing with Bryce was still pretty well ruined. The memory of what she saw in her latest flash came back to her but it didn't bring her any comfort given the circumstances.

When she saw Chelsea's fixed stare as Ed and the other paramedic continued their effort to resuscitate her, Nicole decided she couldn't be there anymore.

Nicole found her clothes and got dressed. The cut over her eye was still bleeding but not as badly as before. She absently wiped away blood with her sleeve when she felt it trickle down. She found her handbag, opened it and stared at the contents for a minute trying to make sense of it. She picked up her phone and thought she should call home but couldn't remember the number or how to work her phone. She dropped it as she walked out of Sanctuary in a daze and into the Los Angeles night. She passed Chelsea's body on the way out. The resuscitation didn't work and they'd already covered her body.

* * *

Bryce opened his eyes and saw Keiko. He remembered his flash and sat up. Looking around it seemed the preemptive message had worked, most of the people in the restaurant seem to be awaking more or less okay. Keiko was fine though stunned and looked like she'd seen something totally unexpected as well.

A look passed between them and it was clear that what they saw in these new flashes wasn't each other. There was no reason to ask "What did you see?" and the perspective on their meeting was turned on its head. The actual experience of it had been different than the flash had foreshown but to realize the culmination of that six months of wonder and anticipation and then be thrust almost immediately into another flash was more than jarring.

Bryce thought about the day. He'd gone from happy with Nicole, to outraged and then worried about her, to then seeing her in this new flash. He'd gone from not even thinking about Keiko, to worried for her and then again resolved about not meeting her, only to have her show up right on first flash schedule. One circle closed. One still open. And the one that was open brought him right back around to the same woman he'd yelled at and left behind hours ago. It was more than he could sort out at the moment. And he hadn't time to sort it out anyway he had to go. And as he left the restaurant to make his way to the hospital all he could do was think of Nicole and hope she was safe.

* * *

_**April 30, 3:17 AM PDT**_

After wandering around aimlessly for hours Nicole reached the hospital. She stood on the periphery of the triage area set up in the parking lot and one of the nurses recognized her and sent her inside. Someone told her she'd need stitches for the gash but she wasn't really listening. Chelsea's face was all she could see & remember how happy she was just before everything blacked out.

Bryce was signing off on patient paperwork and glanced up to see Nicole standing in the corridor. He'd been worried about her for hours. Seeing her in his flash was a momentary solace but nothing near enough to assure him that she was really safe after the second blackout struck. It'd been hours since it happened and even more hours still since their last conversation. There was so much he wanted to say to her but all that mattered for the moment was that she was okay.

"Nicole!"

She blankly turned her head in his direction at the sound of her name as he ran up & hugged her.

"Bryce."

"You're here! Are you okay?" he said and pulled back to look at her. "What happened?" he asked looking at the gash over her eye and the blood smeared on her face and shirt. He wondered where she'd been.

"I fell down." she answered staring off into the distance.

He looked her over and was glad she hadn't any other visible signs of serious injury. Given the situation, emotional trauma was more than understandable. Everything was chaotic so he took her to the physician's lounge. It was the only place he could count on being relatively quiet and she could use that.

"Okay, let's go this way. How about we get that cut cleaned up and closed?" He gently took her hand.

"Okay." She let him lead her away.

The lounge was empty though someone had left the television on. The reporter was saying that another global blackout had been confirmed but responsibility and reason were still unknown. Then they started in on estimated deaths. Bryce found the remote and turned it off.

He deposited Nicole on the sofa and even in her current state, he was just grateful to have her back. He didn't know if she'd not received the preemptive blackout message wherever she'd been or fallen sometime in the hours after. He told himself that all that mattered was that she hadn't drowned. Then he remembered asking if she'd told the truth about her flash before storming off. Whatever had happened in the interval from then to now, hadn't proved fatal but she was definitely injured and altered. As he cleaned the blood off her hands and talked her through changing into one of his tee shirts, he couldn't help but feel responsible.

She sat quietly, still in a daze as he cleaned off her face and pulled the shards of glass out of her wound. She remained the same as he cleaned and sutured the gash in her eyebrow closed. She didn't really hear the words he said to her as he worked, just his tone. She wondered if the reason he was so calm was because he didn't know something so terrible had happened.

"All done." Bryce said pulling off his gloves, once he was finished and sat back to look at the job he'd done.

He remembered seeing her in his flash, she had a scar that cut through her eyebrow. The one he'd just stitched. He wanted to ask her about what she saw but in her current state there was really no point. She needed to rest.

"I have to go for a little while but I want you to stay here and rest. I'll be back. Okay?"

"Okay."

He kissed her on her forehead and got up to go.

"Is all this really happening?" she asked.

"Yeah. But everything's going to be alright." he said and came over to hug her.

She didn't reply or hug him back but she was sure that things couldn't possibly ever be alright again.


	12. Dissonance

**A/N:** Okay, so it's a little later than I'd projected. Muse happens and also the first real convo between Bryce/Nicole post Zero Hour was kinda cringeworthy. It felt like being stuck in a room watching a couple have a complete meltdown and being embarrassed for them both. It's Post-Flashforward Day & conversation is a little less art and a little more desperate... & unforgiving. Sad but necessary. Italic blocks are flashforward. Besos! xoxo

* * *

**Chapter 12: Dissonance**

Ed's shift had technically been over for a while and he and his partner had patched up everyone that needed it, but he'd stayed at Sanctuary waiting for the coroner. The second blackout had apparently been announced with a couple minutes to spare in an effort to minimize the number and severity of injuries and damage that the first one caused but in just the five mile radius around Sanctuary there was plenty of fallout and damage. Chelsea may have been the only person inside Sanctuary that hadn't survived it but the Coroner's department was plenty busy and traffic was more than a nightmare. When he'd called them they gave him the precise ETA of "As soon as we can." and that told Ed all he needed to know.

He was pretty much glad that he'd taken the shift that covered the Sanctuary service the night before. He hadn't known that was his destination when he'd had his flash all those months ago but with the moment passed and hindsight being 20/20, he could see how his worries about that particular moment had been for naught. Six months of stress and misreading of a moment only for him to be elated when it had all worked out. And then not twenty-five minutes later, the moment he'd never seen coming, crashed through. The face of a woman he'd never seen, tried to save and ultimately failed to do so. Even as the sun rose on Friday morning, she remained on his mind.

It wasn't that he hadn't had people die before. It was that the one thing he'd worried about had really actually come true, just with a different person at a different time on the same night. That both women were in the same place, in identical baptismal gowns and in peril in water was downright eerie. It was like he'd cosmologically broken even. He thought it far too arrogant to think that he had to have been the one in that place at that time to save Nicole. No more than he had to be the one not to save Chelsea. None of it was meant to be any more than it was happenstance. Ed considered that for him it wasn't even about Free Will. He was working. If he hadn't had to be working, his Free Will would have taken him to a Flashforward Day party and he'd have had a really decent buzz when ten o'clock rolled around.

_**April 29, 10:14 PDT**_

_"We're going to be late. Again." she laughs as they walk along hand in hand. _

_"We could make a run for it." he suggests and can't help but smile._

_Her eyes sparkle and he knows she's up for it. _

_Still holding his hand she quickly kicks off her heels and picks them up. He's surprised but knows he shouldn't be._

_They run, laughing. She never lets go of his hand._

_The sun was setting._

Though it seemed slightly odd, it was something of a comfort when he noticed the Starbucks across the street open for the day. He yawned and knew the cure. His foot tapped something as he walked out and looking down he saw it was a cell phone. He turned it on and was greeted by a picture on the screen of a grinning couple. It was Nicole and a guy Ed assumed must have been her boyfriend. He wondered when she'd gone and he didn't recall seeing her after the blackout happened. He hoped she'd fared well and checked her call log. The first number was the guy in the picture with her and it seemed like a good enough bet that he could get her phone back to her. He dialed as he crossed the street in search of his caffeine fix.

* * *

The morning had been surreal. It had become clear over the hours that the most recent Flashforward experience wasn't of the same point in time and it was causing more than a little confusion. The fallout being reported on the news bore out in real time for Bryce. The consequence of people witnessing diverging flashes and reacting to them was resulting in more than a few cases in Trauma Surg. The man admitted with five stab wounds because his wife saw in her flash that he was cheating on her was just one of the results of the flash. When the man was finally in Recovery, finding out he and his wife were newlyweds of a couple weeks added an extra bit of insanity to the mix.

The state government issued State of Emergency for L.A. County & surrounding counties to keep people as safe as possible and contain the initial outbreak of chaos. The FBI Building had been blown up and there was yet to be any claim of responsibility. Olivia hadn't come in. Her husband was in the building. They were still looking but he was presumed dead. It was all just insanity.

As the news was about to explain what the Federal response would be, Bryce's phone rang. He barely glanced and let it register that the incoming call was from Nicole's phone.

He answered only to be reminded that the woman he'd run off to essentially save ultimately didn't need it and the one he'd left behind had been saved by another. That his actual feelings didn't seem on the surface to mesh with how his decisions bore out was glaringly stupefying.

Bryce found himself more annoyed with the bearer of the information about what had happened to Nicole than he should be. He thanked him begrudgingly, not sure and not really caring if his annoyance bled through. It was simple. He was jealous. And while the most important thing was that Nicole was taken care of and safe while he was off waiting for her and having the flash moment arrive and pass in the company of Keiko, it just felt like the biggest universal middle finger ever. He didn't want to deal with Ed. Not today. Possibly never.

Ed said he'd be glad to drop off Nicole's phone when he made his next run to Angeles Hospital. Bryce told him that was fine and could not stop himself from telling Ed that if he wasn't around when he showed up, he could simply let anyone in Surgical that he was dropping something off for _Dr. Varley_. When he hung up he wanted to feel badly that he was really that person but he couldn't. He felt like he owed Ed and he didn't like that feeling at all. It wasn't even 9 AM and it was already shaping up to be a crap day.

* * *

Nicole's phone chimed and Ed saw that the incoming call was from someone named Quinn. Clearly someone who knew Nicole, he answered in hopes that he could allay their concerns if they were looking for her.

"Hello?"

"Who the hell are you?" Quinn's asked just a little surprised.

Not getting through to Nicole was one thing, having some random guy answer given her flash fears was wholly another.

"I'm Ed. I found Nicole's phone."

"Really? Found it where?"

"At some religious thing." Ed replied wondering just what the deal was with these people and their attitudes, but then considered that everyone was on edge now.

"Some religious thing? What religious thing?" she continued to press and tried to remember the name of that guy she'd spent the remainder of the party after the second blackout in drunken lip-lock with who worked for Red Panda's Securities Division.

"Sanctuary. She was there last night."

"Okay, maybe you're telling the truth. So you were there?"

"Yeah, I'm a paramedic. I was on duty with a private company covering the event. She almost drowned during her baptism and I pulled her out of the water."

"You saved her?" Quinn asked, her hostility suddenly abated.

"Yeah. I'd seen her in my flash and sure enough, I was there pulling her out of the water at the right time."

"And she was okay?" she asked her voice quavering a bit.

"She was fine. Just a little shaken and wet." Ed reassured her.

"I um, I know you don't know me and I probably haven't made the best first impression with this interrogation or whatever but... thank you. She's my best friend. We're like sisters and I don't know what I'd do if she died. I'm sorry, I'm crying and it's really stupid because when the second blackout happened, she was one of the people I saw in my flash and when I woke up, I was so glad that she was okay. But I guess just hearing that you saved her got to me. And I know it's your job, but really, thank you for being awesome, Ed. So much."

"You know, after all those months of thinking about my flash, this didn't feel like work. It feels personal. So, you're welcome Quinn, best friend of Nicole. You're welcome."

"Do you have any idea where she is now?"

"At Angeles Hospital. I talked to her boyfriend."

"Bryce?"

"Yeah. He said she's okay."

Quinn rolled her eyes thinking about Nicole's email to her about the Bryce situation. But what was most important was that Nicole was okay. She thanked Ed again and put in a call to Bryce.

* * *

Bryce was in the cafeteria paying for a much needed double latte when his phone vibrated.

"Hello?" He answered as he made his way outside to the courtyard.

"I really don't want to talk to you but I need information." Quinn greeted.

"Quinn, hey."

It was clear that she knew about what happened and he'd neither the inclination nor energy to protest and was just about ready to let her go off on him if she felt like she wanted to as long as he could drink his coffee and get some fresh air as she did.

"How is she?" she asked, her tone beyond frosty.

"She's sleeping but she's fine. Or she will be."

"She will be?"

"She fell and cut herself, it's all taken care of. She was pretty traumatized when she came in though."

"Yeah, well I guess almost drowning will do that to a person."

"Yeah." Bryce replied but thought that wasn't the only thing that had upset her.

Quinn remembered what she'd seen in her flash and decided to temper her words.

"Look, I'm not going to go all best friend bitchy on you because if you and Nikki work this mess out, I don't want it to be awkward. But I will tell you this, I don't know what the deal is with you and your flash-chick and I don't even care, but I do know that Nikki didn't deserve what you handed her yesterday. She made an error in judgement. People do that sometimes when they're scared. And if you can't understand that then maybe you're fearless but if you can't forgive it then you're heartless too."

"Quinn..." Bryce began.

"Please, before you even start to explain, save it for Nikki. Just tell her, I'm in Canada and Red Panda's flying me back to LA this afternoon. I'll call when I land."

"I'll tell her."

She thanked him tersely and hung up.

Bryce sighed. It was just as well that Quinn hadn't been interested in an explanation from him. Now, he wasn't sure what he was going to say. He'd tried to think of something more than an apology when he and Nicole finally had the chance to talk about what had happened but hadn't come up with anything that didn't sound like some lame excuse. And then there was the most recent flash. He didn't know when it was but it clearly pointed to a reconciliation between them at some point. It gave him hope and all he had to do was figure out how to get from point A to B. And he hoped that it wasn't more a Point A to Z kind of journey. The more variables added to the mix, the more chance he had to mess it up and given his most recent performance, he believed that to be a very likely thing.

He checked his watch and decided to go and check on Nicole. And if she was up to it, apologize or attempt to.

* * *

When Nicole woke up she'd been relieved that she'd only been asleep and her nightmare wasn't real. The minutes passed as she mercifully lost her grasp on the harsher details that had startled her awake. The lounge was quiet and she wondered how long she'd been there and what time it was as she sat up. Realizing she was sporting one of Bryce's tees was a fleeting comfort when she thought about how things had turned out. She remembered everything and while she wasn't proud of how she'd behaved she was more and more annoyed with how Bryce had treated her.

In the bathroom, she brushed her teeth, washed her face and took stock of herself in the mirror. On any other day she might have cared about the stitches in her eyebrow but now what mattered was that it hurt quite a lot and even more when she frowned. And what mattered more than that was how she'd come to have it in the first place. Another blackout. Another Flashforward. And most important was that she'd witnessed her fear bear out on Chelsea as a result. She hadn't been spared. Saved. Chelsea went hopefully and happily into that water seeking salvation completely unaware that she'd never take another breath.

Nicole thought the whole thing was unbearably unfair. Especially when she considered that the reason she'd shown up at Sanctuary was because she was seeking atonement for the breach of trust she'd scored against Bryce. Her plight had been more desperate than pious. It struck her that due to her almost drowning, her actual baptism never really took place. She didn't know whether to consider it a divine sign of damnation or grace that at the precise time the blackout struck she could have been back in the pool instead of Chelsea. But it hadn't happened that way and she knew that now she was pretty much right back where she'd begun hours before. And more than anything she needed to find a way to reconcile everything that had happened in her mind. She needed to work out the deeper meaning in it all. The reason for it. Because there had to be one.

She pulled her hair back in a ponytail as she left the bathroom. She shuffled through her bag to find her phone. She needed to call home and check on her mother.

"Damn it!" she muttered to herself when she realized her phone was missing.

She thought for a minute trying to remember where she could've left it but came up with nothing. It was just one more thing that she didn't need right now. Possibly the most minor thing going on in her life at the moment. She tossed her bag back down on the sofa in a fit of frustration and looked up when she heard the door open.

Her breath hitched when she saw him and she hoped he didn't notice.

"Hey. You''re up. How do you feel?" he asked with a smile and walked toward her.

She didn't know how to answer him. Was his inquiry just about her physical well being or was he also asking about her state of mind? And more importantly did she even want to give him an answer given their last conversation? She settled on a non-committal "Fine."

He was saying something to her about her stitches but she wasn't following it. Then he was telling her something about having tried to call her and waiting at Oomasa for her and even though she didn't really want to know, she asked the question that hovered in the back of her mind.

"Did you find her?" she heard herself ask and felt her stomach tie with dreaded anticipation.

He explained how he had missed Keiko at the detention center but much to his surprise she'd shown up at the restaurant at the appointed time. He hadn't realized that the place was_ the_ place and while the logistics of the moment played out as previously seen, it wasn't the same emotionally. But then, he said, he hadn't expected that it would be.

Nicole's only response was a nod. None of this was making her feel any better.

"What happened to you last night? After the blackout?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"No. You don't get to ask me about last night. You don't get to act like you can fix it or make it better now. Whatever was going to happen to me didn't matter enough for you to stick around one way or another so..."

"I know, I shouldn't have just left like that. I was angry and I didn't think..."

"No, you didn't. Because the fantasy of Keiko was more important than the reality of me. Somehow, even the possibility that I might die, didn't matter. And I'm not even going to tell you what kind of revelation that was to have."

"That's not fair."

He'd told Nicole that he was only going to the detention center to see if there was anything he could do to help Keiko. It was never about abandoning her to fated danger or death. That was never his intention and her accusing him of that made him somewhat wary of where this was all going.

"Fair? I am not having this conversation with you! My last eighteen hours have sucked and I know what I did was wrong but I also know that I didn't deserve what you did to me! And the really messed up thing is that even if telling you what happened would make me feel better right now, I still wouldn't. Because I wouldn't give you the satisfaction. You don't get to use me to make yourself feel better anymore!"

"You know it's not like that!"

He was hurt that she would accuse him of using her.

"It's exactly like that!" she yelled, on the verge of tears. "I can't do this now."

She grabbed her bag and turned to leave.

He stepped into her path in a desperate attempt to make her stay. "Wait! Please... just... last night, the second flash, what did you see?"

"What?"

She remembered what she saw and hesitated. He started explaining to her what he'd seen. She stopped listening. They didn't match but she assumed that telling him hers would only serve to convince him even more that somehow everything was going to be okay. The last time they'd actually spoken he'd been so convinced that she was untrustworthy and now he was acting like the most recent Flashforward had served as some reset button on their relationship. Like nothing had happened. And that pissed her off.

"Stop! You're seriously telling me about your Flashforward? Is that why you're okay with me now? Because of what you saw?"

"No, I just... I didn't mean..." he began and rested his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to calm her.

Nicole cut him off and pulled away.

"Don't even! You can't take back what you said and you meant it! All these months we've known each other that led up to yesterday didn't mean anything to you. I made a mistake and that cancelled out everything else. You believed the worst of me. So I don't care what we saw and I don't care what you say, because today, right now, I don't believe you. Why should I?"

Her words cut deep. Coupled with her unwillingness to let him explain or apologize, Bryce's frustration mounted and his patience waned.

"What do you want me to say? That I'm pretty well fucked up with way more issues than I'd like to admit? Fine! That's me!"

"Oh, that's embarrassingly clear and that's so not the point!" Nicole seethed.

"What is then? Tell me what you want to hear!"

"This! That you can't even see what's wrong, is what's wrong! How can I ever know if you're serious or caught up in some vision as an assurance of what you're supposed to be doing and feeling at some given moment? It's like you need some sort of marker on a map to tell you how you're supposed to be! How the hell did you cope with anything before the blackout?"

"How did I cope? I didn't, Nicole! Right before the first blackout happened I was standing on the pier with a gun to my head and my finger on the trigger!"

Sorry he'd said it as soon as the words left his mouth, Bryce looked away and shook his head. This wasn't how he'd planned to tell her about that at all. He was officially too tired to have this kind of conversation.

"What?" she asked, stunned. "You... you never told me that."

"Well, it's not exactly a good first conversation and it turns out it's equally bad when you're not looking to scare away someone who cares about you."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to say. Do you think that's supposed to make all this okay?"

She hated that he told her and she hated herself even more for having to resist her desire to hug him and empathize with him.

"No. Not at all." He admitted sincerely and wished he could tell her now all the things he should have before. When they would've made a difference and not come off as self-serving bullshit.

"Because it doesn't. You don't get a free pass. You said I was a liar. But the worst part was you telling me you didn't know me. After everything. I guess that made it so much easier to walk away. So now, that's what I'm going to do and I don't care what you do, as long you leave me alone."

Their flashes be damned, she just couldn't care right now. She stepped around him and walked out. In the final analysis their relationship had crashed and burned. What had begun as genuine friendship and deepened into something she'd cherished even more had finished with careless words, rash deeds and broken hearts and she still couldn't get Chelsea's death off her mind.

Of all the ways Bryce had considered April 30th playing out, this had never crossed his mind. Fate hadn't hurt Nicole and no flash of the future was going to fix the damage done. Both were all on him.


	13. Bloodlet

**A/N: ** Damn. Apologies all around for taking so long to post this one. Chapter was delayed for beach jaunt, some revision & a massive imposition of RL. It's summer & I'm shooting for a chapter every 7-12 days because I'm finding that I want to be everywhere doing everything except sitting still on my laptop & I want these last chapters of _Sync_ to come together just right so I can't just dash them off. Not that you, dear reader, care about any of that bit. You've come for the story, so let's get on! This chap, it's all about grievances, misunderstandings and flashbacks. For all the things that were ever said just beneath the surface that were never heard. It's like they don't even speak the same language sometimes. _*facepalm*_ Italics are flashback only. Besos! xoxo

* * *

**Chapter 13: Bloodlet**

Nicole finally breathed a sigh of relief as she stepped into the shower. The only solace was that as bizarre as her day had been, so had everyone else's if the news or people's general demeanor were any indication. The State of Emergency in effect had pretty much stranded her at the hospital for hours. She couldn't get home and she couldn't get away from Bryce. She'd been able to call home and Judy assured her that everything was fine and not to worry. Her mother was more calm than usual and Judy was able to stay with her until Nicole could make it home. As the day wore on, it became clear that most likely wouldn't be until the next day.

It was late afternoon when Bryce finally succeeded in cornering her and got her to stand still long enough to tell her that Quinn wanted to talk to her and handed over his phone. Nicole thanked him without looking at him and was thrilled to find out that Quinn was in LA and lucky enough to be given a driver from RPR and would pick her up if Nicole wanted to leave the hospital. It was all Nicole had wanted all day and she readily accepted. A slight glance over at Bryce was all the reminder she needed that some time with her BFF was what she needed most and upon Quinn's arrival, she practically sprinted for the exit.

It turned out that she still couldn't get home due to road closures and other issues related to the State of Emergency that Quinn's RPR status couldn't circumvent but for Nicole, crashing at Quinn's was more than a mercy. Quinn wasn't a fan of the flashes the first time, so Nicole was pretty sure she wouldn't have to go through the new postmortem everyone engaged in all day, where it wasn't just _What did you see?_ anymore. Now it was also _When did you see?_ More often than not people didn't know when and that was disconcerting on a whole other level.

The last six months had been people attempting to work toward or away from their flashforwards. But now, for so many there was no designated date to work toward or away from. Just another glimpse into the future. According to the news, so far, there were dates being reported that were as early as four months away and as far away as 2013. Who knew how far into the future this was all going to go was anyone's guess. Added to that was that flashes were in large part not matching up. Sure, before people had seen other people in flashes that they hadn't yet known but now it was turning out that if no two individuals flashed to the same moment in time, someone could see someone else in a flash and the other person would be completely unaware of that interaction at all. It was the ultimate randomizer and people were wondering what to do with the information they had. How to make something happen or not when you didn't know the _when_ made things a lot more precarious. And the possibility of someone else reacting to you based on something they saw you do in their flash but you having no knowledge of it, was even worse. Even though this time around Nicole had a "good" flash, she found this event a lot more scary than the first time around. She'd thought before that if by some miracle she survived the night, she wouldn't have to think about the flashforwards ever again. It would be over. But now she realized that this was the new normal. A world of people focused on disparate times in a possible future. The last twenty-four hours had proven to Nicole that whether the foreseen was good or bad, it could only lead to chaos. And Nicole had no interest at all in that or any thing else that amounted to complete physical or mental upheaval.

####

_Nicole sat at her desk put the finishing touches on her Ethics paper and started pulling her Organic Chemistry books. She still had a few things to get done for her other classes but was putting them off in favor of Bryce helping her with the OChem._

_"I'm almost done with this. I promise." she said as she started a final proofread her paper._

_"Take your time. There's no hurry." Bryce assured her, taking note of the pictures, books and other collected randomness on her bookshelves as he waited. "Wow. You've travelled a lot." _

_"My Dad was a Foreign Service Officer." Nicole told him. _

_"That explains it then." _

_"What?" Cringing inside, she wondered if "it" was good or bad._

_"Your trio of passports in different colors. I was thinking maybe real life Sydney Bristow." he teased._

_Nicole laughed. "So not a spy girl. I'm nowhere near that glamorous. Just another diplobrat bouncing around."_

_"You've definitely got an affinity for languages. Just how many do you speak?" He asked glancing over her books, many of which were in other languages._

_"In addition to English and Japanese, better than decent Greek and Macedonian and a decent amount of the more popular Romance Languages."_

_"My little polyglot." Bryce chided surprised and equally intrigued. "Macedonian?" _

_She nodded with a slight smile and shrugged self-consciously. "It makes me a great ringer in Trivial Pursuit team play. Like lots of things, it's just an artifact turned anecdote of having lived in many different places."_

_"I'd call it more than that." Bryce said with a nod, taking in the rest of her room. It seemed like her, carefully ordered and mixed with seemingly disparate but ultimately complimentary accents. Straight forward but full of surprises._

_"This is really... weird." Nicole glanced up at Bryce, now perusing the bookshelf above her as she still tapped away at her laptop._

_"What is?" He asked and smiled noticing a picture of Nicole dressed as Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas with Charlie Benford from Halloween._

_"You. Here. In my bedroom."_

_"You've been in my bedroom."_

_"Yeah, I know. It's just that this feels really..."_

_"Intimate?" He offered before picking up her chemistry text and sitting on her bed._

_"That's a good description." She agreed and kept her focus on the screen before her and hoped her blushing would go unnoticed even if her vulnerability didn't. "All things considered between us, that sounds ridiculous, I know. It's just... my whole life is chronicled here. You know, all the places I've been, all the ways they changed me. It's sort of all the pieces that make me. Because I've lived in so many places, I was always starting over and on some days I didn't really know who I was supposed to be or even who I wanted to be, but I always had my room. And I could look around and be reminded of where I came from and dream about where I wanted to go and who I wanted to be. People and relationships were always in flux. But my room always came along with me. No matter the country, I could recreate this space. Sort of my constant in the chaos. So having you here is like baring my soul... and that's... not something I do with just anyone."_

* * *

Bryce finally had a chance to catch a couple hours of sleep or try to. Angeles was deep in patients and still short on staff so everyone in, was staying. It was just as well to Bryce, he couldn't get home anyway and even if he could he wasn't really in any hurry to sit alone and replay the last 24 hours in his mind. He could do that just as easily at work where he could at least count on being interrupted. And that's exactly what he'd been doing all day anyway.

He was still trying to figure out how his last conversation with Nicole had ended with her breaking up with him. Even considering how things had gone the night before and that he'd understood that she was upset about how things had played out, he'd thought that after he explained and apologized, everything would have been okay. Or if not okay, certainly not over. But she wouldn't let him explain and she didn't seem to want his apology. It hadn't mattered what he'd tried to say, none of it had come out right and pushed him further away from his goal. Mentioning the flashes seemed like it made things far worse and before he knew it she'd called it done between them and spent the rest of the day ignoring or attempting to avoid him. He didn't even want to begin thinking about how he'd told her about the suicide thing. By the time Quinn arrived and Nicole left without even a backward glance in his direction, he was pretty sure that unlike the things he'd said to her the day before, she'd meant exactly what she'd last said to him. It was all messed up because he'd had so much to tell her.

####

_**April 29, 10:02 PM PDT**_

_It was a surreal moment. A bit like deja vu but stronger. _

_And even though he knew that he'd said the same words to her in his flash, there seemed nothing better to say to Keiko as she'd stood there than "You're really here."_

_The awe of the culmination of the moment glimpsed was almost dreamlike. A memory of it having already happened though it hadn't, while moving forward through the moment in reality and realizing that the present experience was not exactly as that remembered. _

_To be sure he was glad, euphoric even, at having found Keiko and know that she was okay but the whole thing had Nicole running as an undercurrent._

_When he confirmed Keiko's tattoo by simply saying the word "Believe" the word felt strange on his tongue. His thoughts went right back to Nicole. She'd been the one to finish the symbol in his sketchbook and tell him its meaning all those months ago. It had been the first in a long list of times that she picked up where he left off. She was now an inextricable interwoven component in his life. The pieces had come together to make the picture of his flash but it was incomplete. And he knew that the feeling he'd had since he'd left her standing in his driveway, the one that stayed just below his anger as it burned away, was that of missing her. _

* * *

Nicole could hear that Quinn had music blasting as she got dressed. She couldn't believe she'd been here only a week and a half earlier but she was glad that she'd left some things behind. She fumbled through the clothes she'd left and stopped at Bryce's Blue Devils hoodie. He'd lent it to her when they were in Monterey and she'd kind of held onto it since. He hadn't minded, she recalled with a slight smile. He'd said it looked best on her. But she didn't want to think about that now. She tossed it aside momentarily, in favor of a black tee shirt, but picked it up again. Plenty pissed she may have been, but it was seriously comfy and it smelled like him. And though this wasn't the kind of day she'd admit it, that was a good thing. She pulled it on over her head and complimented it with a pair of pink pajama bottoms. She skipped taking stock of herself in the mirror. She didn't care what she looked like. She'd survived the night, dealt with Bryce and spent the entire ride to Quinn's explaining about Chelsea and being saved by Ed. Now, she was either all cried out or dehydrated, she couldn't tell.

She came out to the living room and was greeted with a dancing Quinn, wine glasses and open bottle in hand. She noticed Kai, the teddy Quinn had been traveling the globe with since they were little, perched on the sofa. She smiled at his jaunty resewn ear and recalled how he'd come to be so damaged.

"Let the high holy Bitchfest of Bastardus Boyfriendus begin."

Quinn greeted as she handed Nicole a glass and poured.

Nicole sipped and laughed. It was the first time she'd had a genuine laugh all day and it felt overdue.

"Thanks for this." she said and picked up the teddy. "Kai's come to lend an ear."

"My poor bear. Do you remember that day?" Quinn asked and grabbed a slice of pizza.

"Of course. It's like the only real fight we've ever had."

"I was so mad at you for leaving, not that you had a choice and I wanted you to feel bad, so there was no way I was letting you play with Kai that day."

"Which may have been fine, but you snatched him away from me and I couldn't believe you weren't playing fair. So I had to snatch him back. Unfortunately for Kai, you wouldn't let go." Nicole recalled.

"Yeah. And then the rip. I still remember that sound and then we both just stopped and completely broke down and bawled." Quinn laughed at the absurdity of their childhood confrontation.

"Oh my god, we howled. Jamie thought something was wrong, like for real. Then when he realized it was a fight over the bear, he called us both stupid and told us to shut up. But he did reattach the ear." Nicole recounted, laughing.

"Yeah, he did and like any good big brother he threatened me into owning up to why I was being mean. And what was it he said... um, your friends are just like your family, no matter where they are..."

"You never lose them or they you because we all carry each other in our hearts wherever we go." Nicole chimed in and they finished in unison.

"He was right." Nicole smiled with a nod.

"Well, he's always been the more well adjusted between us but he got that little quip from my Mom."

"Did she have any sage words for the pieces of your heart that have been trampled on and thrown away by someone you thought was a friend?" Nicole asked as thoughts of Bryce resurfaced again.

Quinn regarded her with sympathy.

"I know this sucks and hurts like hell. Tonight is all about you. You have free license to rant, cry, complain, hate or whatever else over your relationship with _He Who Shall Not Be Named_. We can totally walk all the way back to Angeles and key his car if that's what you want. Whatever you need. Welcome to the Sisterhood of the Temporarily Bitter."

"Temporarily? What? No hating him forever?" Nicole scoffed.

Recalling her own flash Quinn was sure that now wasn't even remotely the time to bring that up. Nicole wasn't anywhere near the right headspace to go into all that right now. And while Quinn wasn't a fan of these little slices of future being imposed on everyone, she had to admit that she'd been surprised that hers had in fact happened without any personal exertion on her part to make it happen or not. She'd indeed wound up at a party in a house she didn't recognize when Zero Hour rolled around. Even when she'd traveled to Canada the week before for RPR she hadn't realized that the she was on track to meet up with her flash as foreseen. And knowing that Nicole's had happened, even though previously misread, Quinn was more than convinced that what she'd most recently seen was really going to happen. She also knew that she couldn't have misread what she saw. But that didn't matter right now, it wasn't what Nicole needed or wanted to hear, so she'd have to wait until she was ready.

"Do you really see yourself hating him forever?" she asked instead and took note of Nicole's choice of attire.

"I'm willing to give it a serious try." Nicole declared and took another sip of wine.

"Spoken like a properly pissed off woman." Quinn laughed. "Okay first things first. Because you're the Queen. The Goddess. The Most Awesome Chica Ever. Your tiara and boa."

She handed Nicole a pale pink boa and rhinestone tiara as Nicole took another sip of wine. With a laugh she secured her crown atop her head then looped the cloud of pink around her neck. It reminded her of how they used to play dress up when they were younger.

"Oh but that's not all." Quinn explained and walked over to the kitchen as Nicole followed. "We've got the four traditional foods of this most necessary bitchfest: pizza, ice cream, chocolate and wine. Calories don't exist and neither do hangovers. But there is one rule. No phones. Luckily you don't have yours and I'm going to put mine someplace safe, because friends don't let friends drunk dial."

Quinn took off to hide her phone someplace out of reach or alcohol drenched recall and Nicole grabbed a spoon and went straight for a carton of chocolate ice cream and can of whipped cream before settling herself on the sofa.

"Okay, so where do you want to start?" Quinn asked when she came back.

Nicole's reply didn't come in words. The sound of her spraying whipped cream directly from the can into her mouth told Quinn all she needed to know.

####

_The departmental Clerical Assistant Level 2 posting caught Nicole's eye as she looked over the bulletin board._

_"Just apply for it already." Bryce whispered in her ear._

_"How do you even know what I'm looking at?" She smirked back._

_"Well, you've already been to Sanctuary, so unless you're looking to be a driving companion to Vegas with the AARP set, adopt a puppy or you've suddenly become fascinated with what's going to be featured in the cafeteria, I'd say the job posting is my best bet."_

_"You think you know me so well. For your information, I like to keep up on what's new on the LA hospital cafeteria scene. That's where all the new trends in haute cuisine come from." she quipped in mock exasperation._

_"Of course, that's definitely where all the cutting edge in fusion cooking is happening. I'll have to remember that for our next date. I stand corrected."_

_"Thank you."_

_"No problem. But just so you know, when you're done with the menu, you should apply for that position because it's exactly what you already do for free, everyone loves you and you'd totally get it. I'm just saying."_

_"Yeah and that kinda defeats the purpose of the volunteering. It's not a good deed when you get paid. Throws off the altruism angle."_

_"A minor detail. Besides, you said you volunteered because you wanted to do something good and you have. For months. I still can't believe there's anything that you'd need to make up for that's so bad you should pass this or anything else up. If it's not you, someone else will get it. Why them and not you?"_

_"I'll think about it. Maybe."_

_"Thinking is good. Action is better." he said and handed her an application._

_"Why are you making this such a big deal?" she asked._

_"Why aren't you? You're like... a perpetually loaded Pez dispenser of hope and encouragement."_

_"You think of me as a giant Pez dispenser?" She asked with mock earnestness but unable to suppress a giggle._

_Bryce laughed as well. "Wow. Yeah, I don't know where that came from. Obviously my similes need as much work as your metaphors. My point is that, you're always handing out hope and good will to everyone else, and I don't think you keep enough for yourself. So, I want to give you some of mine. You deserve great things too. And not only is it okay to want them, it's good to go after them."_

_"Okay." She took the paper & smiled at him thinking that he was a pretty great thing._

_"Good. So I'll pick you up at eight thirty?"_

_"I'll be ready." She smiled in anticipation of their date as he gave her a quick kiss._

_As he walked off, she looked down at the application and knew she'd fill it out & turn it in. Bryce was right, it was okay to go after the what you wanted._

* * *

Things at the hospital had finally calmed to a level of controlled chaos and Bryce was grateful as he took the opportunity to grab a bottle of water from the vending machine. He glanced up at the television more out of habit than anything else. He'd long stopped paying much attention to the news, such that it was, being reported. It was so much repetition of questions that still had no answers and more speculation than anything else. The State of Emergency was still in effect and there wasn't any word on when it would be lifted. The fire at the FBI Building was out though hot spots were still a concern, but a five mile radius had been cordoned off while the Feds investigated. The news was still running the images they had before a media blackout of that area was imposed. There'd been similar explosions at intelligence agencies involved in investigating the original blackout the world over. Even if it wasn't yet clear what all this meant, Bryce was sure the consequence of the second blackout was precipitously worse than the first time around.

"Dr. Varley?"

"Yes?" Bryce turned at the sound of his name.

"Hi. Ed Walsh. I found your girlfriend's phone."

"Right, and saved her life. Hey." Bryce said as his smile instantly faded and tone tensed. He shook hands with him out of obligation only.

"Right place, right time." Ed said easily and handed Nicole's phone over.

"Thank you. For taking care of her and dropping her phone off so soon. She'll be glad to get this back." Bryce said sincerely, though every word felt leaden.

"Sure. No problem at all. How is she?"

"She's good." Bryce said, not bothering to veil his impatience. "Are we done? Because I'm pretty busy."

Ed wasn't sure if Bryce was responding to him as an officious asshole doctor or officious asshole boyfriend but he decided that it didn't really matter. He'd dealt with enough of the former to know that giving it back was a lost cause. And if it was really the latter then the guy had enough problems without Ed piling on.

"Absolutely. I didn't mean to impose. Just... please tell Nicole that I'm glad she's okay."

Bryce only nodded in response before turning and walking away. He knew he should feel bad or at least embarrassed about the way he'd treated Ed but he didn't. Having a conversation with the embodied cosmic response to his own mistakes and failures was too much. He was grateful that Ed had saved her but on the other hand he was beyond jealous and currently didn't care if that made him petty. More than anything, he just wanted to go back to when Nicole thought well of him.

####

**_Monterey, CA_**

_The main of the beach bonfire for the wedding party was finished but the revelry was still going strong and showed no signs of wrapping up anytime soon. A not so subtle Quinn, with the assistance of the Bride-to-Be and Maid of Honor, suggested Nicole and Bryce take a walk along the beach and practically pushed them along on their way. After a good laugh at the sheer blatancy of their ousting they settled into their usual pattern of winding conversation._

_"After the blackout, I hid out for about a month. I seriously freaked out and cloistered myself inside." Nicole said as she finished recounting how she'd perceived her flash. _

_She wasn't sure if it was the safety of sitting in the dimness of moonlight surrounded by the sound of crashing waves that gave her the nerve to share the details of one of her deepest fears, but she'd kept talking just the same._

_"Considering what you'd seen, that's understandable." Bryce told her, remembering having had that kind of reaction to bad news himself._

_"That was part of it but what scared me most was how I felt in my flash. It was like waking up and finding out that I didn't know who I was. And I couldn't understand why I didn't care that I was going to die. Let alone make sense of what could've happened that was so bad, that I couldn't see any other alternative. No other way out or resolution but death. I was suffocating and I welcomed it. It just... it'd never occurred to me that I was that person. Or could be."_

_Bryce listened and understood what she described feeling during her flash. He'd felt just that way when his doctor had given him his prognosis and the feeling remained until the day of the blackout. He knew what it meant to feel there was no other way out and no more reason to fight. Where the only option left was the finality of death and feeling a certain contentment in that resolution. He'd never have thought himself that person before either and even now it was difficult to take himself back to that place. Mostly he thought of things in terms of before and after the blackout in an effort to distance himself from it. _

_"Well, extreme circumstances sometimes compel people to do things they couldn't ordinarily fathom. So, I don't think that the way you felt in your flash is the defining moment of who you really are. That the possibility concerned you that much is probably a good sign. Not that anything bad is going to happen, but you've already confronted it beforehand. And I think that is more indicative of the kind of person you are."_

_"Thank you." She said, suddenly struck by the possible absurdity of angsting over her potential mortality with someone dealing with his own mortality in the present._

_"For what?"_

_"For listening and for letting me prattle on about some unknown peril and still trying to make me feel better. You've actually dealt with being told the worst thing ever and you've handled it." _

_"Well, some days have been better than others in the handling department." he admitted. _

_"But you fight. For real. Even when it sucks more than usual, you admit it but you press on and you don't get all mired down. It's like you don't do despair. So you know what, from here on out, I'm going to take a page from your playbook."_

_She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Thanks for the empathy. I guess I just needed your brand of awesome to bring me around."_

_But he knew it wasn't empathy at all, it was simple recognition. If he hadn't known better, he'd have believed that she'd read his mind and knew everything. If there had been a checklist of parallels between them they would've balanced out in the end. That she'd thought him so brave and deeply empathetic bothered him. But not so much that he was going to tell her the truth. Not that he knew how to do that just yet. _

_They settled into silence and for that, Bryce was grateful. _

* * *

"I think we've completely established that he's an asshole." Quinn nodded and used Kai as a pillow for her head as she laid on the floor.

"The Asshole King." Nicole slurred slightly as she sat cross legged on the sofa flipping through channels on the muted television. "That could be the title of a show."

Quinn giggled. "The Asshole King. Totally unrivaled in his reign over his kingdom of asshole minions. I think there should be a moat."

"A moat and a great big fire pit."

"To pitch the King into?" Quinn asked, trying to understand why the moat wasn't enough.

"No. Just extra insurance to keep him inside. I wouldn't want the King to die." Nicole explained quietly. No matter what, she couldn't joke about Bryce dying.

"What color is this nail polish?" Quinn asked holding her hand up to inspect her newly acquired manicure.

Quinn's question broke Nicole out of her reverie.

"It's purple-something." Nicole answered. She could never remember all those cutsie names those polishes came in.

"It looks black."

"We did mine in black and yours in purple." Nicole said, checking her nails while crawling across the sofa to show Quinn. "See?"

"This is the same color. They're both black. So where's the purple?"

"I've no idea. Does this throw off the Cosmo thing?" Nicole asked.

"I don't think so." Quinn began and retrieved the magazine and flipped the pages to see what they were up to on the prescribed list of what to do after a break up. "Were back to venting. So what do you want to rant or complain about next? The sex?"

"No... that was good. Really good." she said regretfully and a little begrudgingly as she recalled the day before.

"Well, you can still hate on him for that, because he messed up and you'll miss it. Or you can go with every woman's prerogative in these instances and lie."

"Never should've slept with him. It was a bad idea for a million reasons not the least of which being that our relationship obviously had some major problems."

"Honestly, if all of humanity waited for relationships to reach some level of perfection before having sex, the species would've died out a long time ago. And been a lot crankier." Quinn offered.

Nicole chuckled.

"I know, I just can't believe I did this. You were right about what you said before about me being good at casual but not so much with the whole _in love_ thing. And I wanted to be casual with him like I had with everybody else but I couldn't do it. Because he's not like everybody else. And the way I felt with him, I never felt that exactly with anyone else. It was scary and exhilarating and I loved it. The casual stuff was easy. I could kiss anybody and walk away without a second thought. The makeout hook up, same thing. It didn't take any effort to walk away because my feelings weren't all wrapped up in it in the first place. But, this was never that. Before he even kissed me, I knew. I tried to deny it, but I knew. I even tried one day to avoid him because I thought if I could just stay away from him, I could get a handle on how I felt."

"I'm guessing that little plan didn't come off."

"Nope, not at all. He tracked me down. I've found over time that he has a particular knack for that. Anyway, from the first time we kissed, I just never wanted to stop. And when we kissed again, I knew even then that I'd wind up in bed with him. I tried to avoid it but when it finally happened, I didn't care about anything else. It felt right. It was just one more way we clicked. And after, I just couldn't bring myself to tell him what I knew."

"That's understandable. We are none of us perfect or forever altruistic. Besides, discussion of other women is not on the post coital topics of conversation list."

"I know, but I'd told myself before that if I could have him just a little longer, then I'd be able to let him go. But I didn't. I mean, I finally told him the truth but not because of some high-minded reason. He was right, I told him because I felt guilty not because it was the right thing to do. It's funny, I was afraid of falling for him to begin with, because I knew it'd be terrible when it was over. Then I was afraid of losing him and having him hate me. It's all happened and I didn't need a flash to tell me."

"He doesn't hate you."

"Yeah right. He had a flash that made it all better. Like seriously, he actually went into this whole thing about what he saw. Like nothing had happened. Not the driveway thing. Not his leaving knowing that something terrible could've happened to me. Not the fact that he thought what I'd done was unforgivable. Honestly, I think the fact that I didn't drown made him think that everything was just cool now and we were just going to go back and pick up from 4:30 yesterday afternoon. I mean, what the hell is that?"

"A mistake. Huge. Unless..."

"Unless what?" Nicole asked, daring a half decent exception as explanation.

"Well, unless he was telling you what he saw just so you knew he'd seen something he thought was good out of sheer excitement and then he was going to work back around to you two working out the other stuff." Quinn suggested.

"No. This wasn't that. He really was over all the stuff he said and I really didn't need to hear any more. This is like, how he is post flash. All emotion and while I found it romantic the first time around, it's just damned annoying now. And then he had the nerve to want to know what I saw! All things considered, I almost wanted to haul off and slap him to see if it'd bring him back down to the reality of the moment."

"What did you see?"

"Not what he saw but even if I told him what I saw, it just would've made things worse because he'd have thought it meant something. When really it doesn't matter at all. Just like everything else between us."

Quinn listened as Nicole continued and she was pretty sure that whatever Nicole had seen Bryce figured into it heavily. Considering the date in her flash, Quinn thought that it could very well take Nicole and Bryce just that long to work things out. Until then she'd listen, help when she could and try not to visibly cringe at _Nikki's Mega-Emo Playlist_ loop in the background, which she was sure was going to be in heavy rotation until the Bryce situation was resolved.

####

_Nicole checked the time and couldn't believe almost three hours had already passed. Sliding her books off her lap she headed off to check on Bryce. She wasn't sure whether to think his being so quiet for so long was a good thing or not. _

_She opened his bedroom door and peeked in to make sure he was okay. The room was half golden afternoon glow and half dark grey shadow and she could hear birds chirping through an open window. But the important thing to Nicole was the figure in the red tee shirt and black sweatpants curled up on the bed. The bottle of water she'd left him was empty and she took that as a good sign as he seemed now to be resting. Hoping that he'd gotten through the worst part she was reluctant to disturb him. She hesitated in the doorway a moment longer before turning to close the door. _

_"I'm not asleep." he said just as she was about to close the door._

_"I didn't wake you did I?" she cringed still standing in the doorway, hoping she hadn't._

_"No. I woke up a little while ago. Just laying here."_

_"How do you feel? Can I get you anything?"_

_"Blank. And no. But thanks." he said with a sigh and shifted slightly._

_"Okay. Just call me if you do." she said and began to close the door._

_"Wait. Don't go." he began and rolled over. _

_Nicole came over to the side of the bed and knelt down. _

_"I owe you an apology."_

_"No, you don't."_

_"Yeah, I do. Yesterday after my chemo, I was just in a bad mood and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. You didn't deserve that."_

_"Like you said, cancer sucks."_

_"It definitely does but that doesn't make it okay to treat the people you love who love you back, badly. So, I'm sorry."_

_"I accept and you're forgiven. Always." Nicole said with a smile._

_"I know I spend a lot of time acting like I don't need anyone around but I don't think... I know, I don't I spend enough time telling you that I'm glad you're here. And that I appreciate you."_

_"I wouldn't be anywhere else."_

_"Yeah, I know that about you. I guess I suspected that when I told you I was sick. Do you remember when you heard me on the phone with my Mom and my sister and you asked me why I lied to them?"_

_"Yeah. That was kinda intrusive of me, huh?" she asked recalling that Bryce made it clear at the time that he didn't want to talk about it._

_"Not in a bad way. And I never really answered you. The reason I lie to them is because they can't do this. Whatever it is you have that makes you able to do this, they don't have that. So there's no point in putting them in that position in the first place. It'd just make everyone involved feel worse." _

_"But they're your family, Bryce. They love you." She ventured, though she knew exactly what he meant. Paige didn't have whatever "it" was either and there wasn't a day that went by that Nicole wasn't reminded of that._

_"This isn't about how much they love me. I know my Mom loved my Dad but from his initial diagnosis she just kinda shut herself off from him. And when it was clear that he wasn't going to get better she couldn't deal with it. She wrapped herself in work and my sister did the same thing with her family. It was like they knew time was running out but they just couldn't engage in the moment. It wasn't that they didn't care or that it didn't hurt them, but they just couldn't get to place where they could separate how they felt from what he needed. And they couldn't admit it. Any of it." _

_"And I've found that I'm not like my Dad. He was never mad at them for that. Even when I was. He would say that he regretted that his being sick was causing them pain and that the only thing worse than that was that he knew his death would do the same thing. And more than anything, he didn't want any of us to suffer. I still admire that, even though I fall well short of it. I could say it's okay and say I let them off the hook. But it'd be a lie. I want to be that person. I thought I was, but I'm not. I've tried to be. Just the thought that they would do the denial thing after I bore my soul, when I needed them most is more than I want to think about. Because unlike my Dad, there's no me to pick up where they leave off. So, it's just better to do all this alone. It's not that I don't already know how they are. It's the confirmation of it all that I just... at least if I never tell them, they can't..."_

_"They can't disappoint you. They can't let you down." She finished, holding his hand._

_"Exactly. So... I guess that's my round about way of saying that, even as bad as I feel, you make it better. And I'm glad you're you and chose to spend your time with me." he explained. "And I'm really sorry about earlier. I really didn't mean to... on you."_

_"No problem, on all of the above. My shirt's in the dryer with the other stuff now. Nothing that wasn't fixable. But you really should rest now."_

_"Stay. Please. I'm done the vomiting thing, I promise." He said with a wan smile._

_"Sure." She agreed and climbed into the bed alongside. _

_She wrapped her arms around him and kissed the back of his neck as she rested her head on the pillow. Holding her hand in his, he smiled. Close in body and mind both were content in the moment._

* * *

The living room of Quinn's apartment was scattered with the remains of the evening. Plates, bowls, empty ice cream cartons and foil chocolate wrappers along with boxes of tissues bore testament to the evening retrospective on what had been and become of Nicole and Bryce. Through it all Quinn had listened and given pitch perfect counterpoint to whatever tangent Nicole had taken off on. She'd put aside her own feelings of being trapped between her own foreknowledge, having encouraged Nicole in the first place and Nicole's feelings about the current state of her relationship with Bryce. It was and was going to continue to be one hell of a tightrope to navigate.

"She flew all the way across the Pacific for him." Nicole explained from her side of the sofa, holding up her glass for a refill.

Quinn rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. She knew this part would come given enough time.

"And now we've the entered the apologist phase. Seriously?"

She reached behind her for the bottle on the table and poured. They'd long passed the point where it mattered if they were drinking white or red.

"You're giving her mad credit for booking a flight? That makes them epic? Nikki, what the hell? Call me when she undertakes cancer recon, chemo ward & vomit duty. None of that shit is pretty but it's real and it counts. To me, that's epic. And this isn't even about her, it's about him."

"Well, he flew there to find her too." Nicole said with tears in her eyes.

"Oh, big fucking deal. I mean yes, on one hand that's sweet and kinda cool, but in some ways way lame and actually really sad. Drop everything and tear off on a fools errand. He came back with nothing but her name and he still couldn't find her. Like, did he not know Mosaic existed since it was so damned important? And she wound up all caught up with Immigration without even that. That's worth more than what you had with him? Whatever."

Quinn tried to temper her annoyance. She wasn't so good with the part where all the allowances and reasons why the ex went stupid were made. It was always hard to watch a friend do that, especially because it reminded her of what she'd sounded like the times she'd done the same thing.

"I don't know... it was important to him." Nicole was annoyed that given recent developments, she still cared at all about what was now or had been important to him. She made a mental note to stop doing that.

"Important is fine, more important than you after all you've shared... not cool. Not epic. Just bullshit." Quinn told her matter-of-factly.

"She saved his life." Nicole said, more repeating from memory than actually arguing the case. She tried to remember how many glasses of wine she'd had as she continued to drink her current one.

"No. The blackout saved his life. Possibly even the flashforward pulled him back from the brink of desperation. They hadn't actually met, so she hadn't _done_ anything. Even if we're going all existential here... no. That's just theory and crap he built up in his mind."

"Yeah. And he still dumped me to take off and find her. She didn't have to know anything about him, or show him how much she loves him because I guess the flash was enough."

"Their flash, whatever it was beyond the moment they saw it, when they woke up, could only be infatuation. From his point of view, I guess it makes sense, he was facing death and needed a lifeline. I don't know what was going on in her life, but she must have been going through something equally perilous. I mean, she couldn't have just been some chick bored with her job, ya know?"

"Yeah, I know. You're probably right."

"But Nikki, none of that has anything to do with the validity of you or your relationship with him. And yeah, he _really_ shouldn't have done what he did and you absolutely have every right and reason to be pissed, but don't go thinking that everything that happened between you was all for naught. You two were happy. For real."

"But what did it matter in the end? It still turned into all about her to the exclusion of everything else. All day I just kept wondering what he'd do if I told him and if he was still planning and pining to find her. Apparently he was all along."

"Okay, I'll give you some leeway because you're all upset but I'm going to have to pull you back on the logic track here and not because I'm trying to help his case at all but because I don't want you feeling any worse than you have to. He wasn't thinking about her until that moment you decided to give up the intel. If he had been, he'd have booked another flight to Tokyo on FlashForward Day, because that's still where he thought she and the restaurant were to be found. Though it's creepy trippy that they met at a place you were originally taking him to, where he first kissed you and where he planned for you to meet up. That's some cosmic fuckery right there."

"I just kept hoping that when he found out about Keiko, he'd remember us and it'd be okay. He was so mad when I told him. Then I tried to explain but he wouldn't even look at me. And then he left. And I mean, I knew... I knew this was how it was going to end up. But I convinced myself that everything would be okay and I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe everything he said. But I was wrong. I was wrong about a lot of things. I hurt him, he hurt me and now it's just a mess."

"Is it a mess you want to try and clean up?" Quinn asked with a yawn.

"I don't want to think about it right now. I'm just so mad at him. One moment I can't stand to be around him and the next it's all I can think about. And it's pissing me off. But the worst thing, is that I still can't hate him. I want to and it'd be so much easier if I could."

"That's what friends are for. I'll hold down the hate and you just feel everything else you need to." Quinn assured her in a slow, easy tone.

Nicole could tell Quinn had slipped off to sleep. She laid her head on her pillow and watched the images on the television. It would just figure that Adult Swim was running a night of Bleach. It reminded her of times spent with him. She looked around for the remote but couldn't find it. She sighed, finished her glass of wine and closed her eyes. She wasn't sure if it was all the crying, ranting, junk food or drinking, but she was feeling better. She could hear Quinn softly snoring from the other side of the sofa and decided it was because of her. When the realization that the boyfriend wasn't your best friend afterall and may have been the best disguised enemy ever, dawned on you, it was good to know that the BFF that had been with you since baby teeth and teddy bears still had your back. And even though she'd not admit it aloud, it didn't hurt being carried off into slumber swathed in Bryce's hoodie. It reminded her of being content in his arms. It was a place that even now she longed to be.

####

_**Thursday April 29 1:15 PM PDT**_

_Nicole sighed and stretched, her body moulded against his. Her arm across him and her leg in a full body hug. Bryce was loathe to move and disturb her. No matter how many times he awoke to being enveloped by her, he marveled at how she was actually able to sleep that way. But she could and her face was all contentment and calm. He still wasn't sure if it was her expression or the fact that even in her sleep she could maintain a decent grip on him that made him smile most. He thought both were pretty sexy._

_She opened her eyes and looked up at him, "Hey you."_

_"Hey." he smiled, a little sad that she'd released her hold on him._

_"What time is it?" She looked over her shoulder to check the time. "You got me roses?" _

_She grinned and sat up to check out the blooms in her favorite colors._

_"Don't sound so surprised. It's not the first time."_

_"No, I know. It's just, sweet and thoughtful. When did you do this?"_

_"They were delivered when you were asleep. The original plan was for you to answer the door but you were asleep so this isn't a bad plan B."_

_"Thank you. I love them. But you didn't have to. I think it's pretty clear that I'm your sure thing." she added the last part flippantly._

_"Why do you do that?" he asked a little annoyed._

_"Do what?"_

_"Act like it's a surprise that I would do nice things for you or want to. Or that I wouldn't think you're worth it. I love you."_

_"That's what you say." Nicole said with a nonchalance that she didn't feel._

_""That's what I mean." Bryce admittedly didn't understand this aspect of her personality. He could never figure out if she thought he was lying or she really didn't see herself as she really was or at least as he saw her. _

_"Of course you do. Who wouldn't love the girl you can get into bed in less than an hour of her arriving at your house?" She heard herself say it but couldn't for the life of her fathom why she'd said it. She was sabotaging what should have been a perfectly lovely moment and she couldn't stop herself._

_"You know that you and me is not about that. It's... an awesome addition but not the make or break. Seriously. Don't do that."_

_She paused before she spoke again and looked over her shoulder at her roses. _

_"I just keep thinking that this is some sort of dream and I'll wake up and it'll be over or I'll find out that it was never real."_

_"Well, you're awake and we're here, so you can cross the first part off your list of worries. And I'm pretty sure that our whole relationship has been real. So I'd say that you don't have to worry about that either. It's been months."_

_"Yeah. You're right, of course."_

_"You don't seem convinced. What's it going to take to make you a believer?" he asked wondering if this was just a consequence of her flash preoccupying her thoughts._

_"Ask me tomorrow."_

_He nodded in agreement with a smile and kissed her._


	14. The Remedy

**A/N:** Finally! :D Muse happens & the time it takes to chill and craft the story can't be helped. Thx for hanging in to read & especially if you've reviewed, I adore you to pieces. While the aftermath of the second GBO continues to unravel around them, our favorite couple are on their own paths to figuring out their relationship and of course aren't yet on the same page. Btw, the story should be closing out around 19 or 20 chapters, so we've a little time left but I'm quite sure the ending will be satisfying and make sense. Lastly, I'm leaving for vacation in about six hours so realistically, the next chapter won't be up until the sometime during the **1st week in August**. Italics are flashback. Besos! xoxo

**Chapter 14: The Remedy**

_**Monterey, CA**_

_Quinn heard the knock on her door and tried to ignore it. She was too tired and a little too drunk to really care who it was. When her phone started rattling off Nicole's ringtone, she didn't bother answering. Instead she pulled herself out of bed and answered her door._

_"Nikki, I'm pretty drunk and it's two forty-five. I swear, if this is about anything other than fighting or fucking, I'm going to have to kill you." Quinn said when she opened her door to find Nicole standing there._

_"Let's call it potential B and say I'm here for supplies." Nicole explained as she slipped inside past Quinn._

_"Wow. So... okay. Good for you!" Quinn nodded, impressed. She looked at her collection of handbags on the table and they had a quick rummage through. Quinn found her case and opened it._

_"You have two different kinds, because... why?"_

_"Depends on the mood I'm in."_

_"Seriously?" Nicole quirked an eyebrow at that idea._

_"You know, if you'd bother to get around to actually having sex more than once every three years, you'd have figured out your personal condom preferences too. But since you haven't, don't judge your supplier." Quinn said and held both options out for Nicole to choose. _

_"Sorry." Nicole apologized, just a little nervous and realizing she wasn't sure which to go with._

_"Just take one of each and go already." Quinn advised and shooed her toward the door._

_"Thanks." She hesitated at the door. "Am I doing the right thing?"_

_"No you're not. You're standing here talking to me."_

_"You know what I mean."_

_"Nikki, take a leap. Trust yourself. And for the love of sanity go find Bryce so you two can shag yourselves senseless." _

_Quinn pushed Nicole out, closed her door and climbed back into bed. She totally got why Nikki was attracted to Bryce and vice versa. They were working that spontaneous adventurer versus dedicated planner thing. She grounded him and he pushed her out of her comfort zones. Left to the dedicated planner they'd get around to closing the deal sometime in the next decade, so Quinn was pulling for the spontaneous one to catch Nikki on the right day and go all shock and awesome on her, so she wouldn't get a minute to retreat and second guess herself but instead just charge ahead for a change._

_When Nicole told her the next morning that she'd not gone through with it, Quinn wasn't at all surprised. _

####

Between the messages coming through on her phone and the news being broadcast on the television, it was clear to Quinn that the second blackout wasn't going to fade into the usual Saturday morning background reserved for weekend news. She'd received confirmation from her parents and brother that they were fine. She and Nicole were still waiting on the same from friends they had scattered all around the globe. Her messages from RPR included everything from current responses to the global impact complete with death and injury tolls to asking all employees to share the details of their most recent flashes with their regional heads as soon as possible. The request was attached to a reminder that all RPR employees had signed agreements stating that should another such event like the blackout take place, they would be forthcoming with what they recalled. That they also mentioned that no one was so obligated to give such information at all to any government agency struck Quinn as funny as she watched the U.S government's plea for people to do that very thing with them before anyone else while tying it to patriotism. She chuckled at the irony as she flipped though the channels.

_"Information is power, right?"_ she thought cynically and wondered just how far everyone was going to go to stack their decks and hedge their bets now. It was turning into less _Share what you know_ and more _Tell us, but don't tell them_. She muted the talking heads once again and got back to her conversation with Nicole.

"We've already covered this Nikki. Whatever her deal was, even if perilous, she's a seriously degreed, seriously grown woman who came here from Japan, not some trafficked, uneducated girl from some under developed country. Acting like she needed him to save or liberate her is left best to bad stereotypes on television. She got out of detention without his help, didn't she?" Quinn said and downed two aspirin with a swig of coffee. It occurred to her that over time both she and Nicole had argued both for or against any strike put forth on the _Nikki & Bryce Score Card of Blame_.

They had cleaned up from the night before and were sacked out on the sofa slowly recuperating with coffee and muffins. The open drapes of the windows displayed a morning sky scarred by trails of rising smoke from fires that were recently put out or still burning. Even inside the faint smell of cinders hung in the air.

"True." Nicole agreed and took a sip of water while she wound one of the cords of Bryce's hoodie around her finger. She still felt like she was in debt of some kind to someone. Keiko. Chelsea. Bryce. God. Her list was getting longer and longer.

The doorbell rang and Quinn pulled herself up from the sofa to answer.

"Besides..." she began and opened the door to find Bryce standing there.

"Hey, Quinn." he greeted, looking like he was on an ill fated and futile journey and knew it.

"Oh, I can't even... Nikki! It's all you!" she called out and turned away without inviting him in.

Bryce wondered what he'd been thinking coming over to Quinn's in the first place. In the ridiculous amount of time it took him to get there he'd plenty of time to debate doing so and though he'd not come up with many successful scenarios he'd come anyway. He'd had to. He just had to try.

Nicole got up and passed Quinn as she looked to see Bryce in the doorway. Suddenly her choice of again slipping on his hoodie that morning as she dressed seemed like a bad idea and she just felt silly.

"Quinn..." Nicole began her plea for Quinn to run interference.

"No. I'm going to go take a shower." Quinn shook her head and kept walking.

There was no hope that Nicole and Bryce were going to work anything out if they didn't talk and she wasn't about to stand in the way of the natural progression of their breakup, especially if it led to their reconciliation.

"How'd you know I was here?" Nicole asked as she did her best to avoid meeting his gaze.

The last thing she wanted to do was talk to him. Aside from having no idea what to say, she knew there was too much to say. She hadn't yet sorted it out enough to even begin to know where to begin. Trust or mistrust? Accusation or apology? Blame or forgiveness? Love or hate?

"The State of Emergency is still in effect. All the streets leading outside of downtown are still closed off." Bryce explained and realized he was actually full of nervous anticipation.

It reminded him of how he felt the first time Dr. Benford turned a surgery over to him. Somehow he'd made the nerves work in his favor and had never felt that again. But Nicole wasn't some anesthetised patient he could wield surgical instruments on. She could shut him down at any minute, given the chance, if his words failed to coax her toward the outcome he sought. Their correct outcome. That she looked like she didn't want to be bothered did nothing to lessen his concerns.

"Right. So what'd you want?" she asked trying to keep her voice even. She figured the quicker he explained, the faster this would be over.

"Um, the paramedic... who saved you... he dropped off your phone." Bryce said as he handed her the phone. He couldn't manage more than an acknowledgment about the guy that had saved her or his name, but it didn't matter because she already knew that. He wanted to be encouraged that she was wearing his shirt but her body language was cancelling that fact out.

"His name is Ed." Nicole said, her voice tight as she accepted the phone.

She was annoyed that he didn't bother to commit to memory the name of the man who'd saved her life. It also annoyed her that the same shiver that always ran up her arm when he touched her hand happened on cue when he handed over her phone.

"Right. Anyway, I figured you'd want to get this back as soon as possible."

"Thanks." Nicole said as she slid her phone into her pocket and crossed her arms across her chest.

"Sure. No problem." This wasn't going as well as he'd hoped but he didn't want to leave just yet. "How are the stitches?"

"Fine. It hurts a little but it's no big deal. You did a really good job and you didn't have to do it. I'm sure you had more important things to take care of."

"No. I needed to do it. And hey, you kinda get to be a real life Sally." He told her with a smile.

"Sally?" She finally met his gaze.

"From _A Nightmare Before Christmas_. Halloween." he explained, recalling her photos.

"Yeah. I guess so. I hadn't thought about that." A slight smile crept across her mouth before she could stop it. She liked that he made the connection. She didn't like that she liked that he made the connection. She reigned in her smile.

"Would you please talk to me?" He tilted his head in an attempt to look her in the eye.

"I am talking to you." She looked away and then down to avoid meeting his gaze.

"No. You're not. You're answering me. It's not the same thing."

"I don't want to do this right now." She explained with a shrug and wondered what part of her _"leave me alone"_ he'd misunderstood from their conversation at the hospital.

"Fine. When do you want to?"

"I don't know."

"I know I messed up..."

"We both messed up."

"Then we can work it out." He forged on. She agreed they'd both made mistakes so there wasn't any reason they couldn't repair whatever damage had been done. They'd diagnosed the problem, now they just needed to plan the procedure to right system where it'd gone wrong. Simple.

"It's not that simple, Bryce."

"Why not?"

"It's just not. It's not just about the fact that I didn't die and your flash realized wasn't an exact epic replica. It's not just about us!"

"What? Who else is this about?" He couldn't clear what she meant but he didn't like the possible implications. "That paramedic? Ed?"

"It's everything! The flashes, you, me, Chelsea and sure, why not, Ed and Keiko!" It was so like him to push until he got his way and so like her to acquiesce. Both were pissing her off more and more.

"Okay, first of all, I explained to you about Keiko. You keep conveniently forgetting that I only went to help her out. I was waiting at that stupid restaurant for you! And who the hell is Chelsea?" He wasn't sure what they were even talking about anymore but he did know that she was making him out to be the bad guy in all this and he didn't like that feeling one bit.

"It doesn't matter and I told you, I didn't want to do this right now! Damn it, Bryce! Why can't you just let it go?

"Why are you acting like this?" He couldn't understand why she was being so difficult. Actually it wasn't that she was being difficult as much as she was being conveniently obstinate. That's what was driving him nuts.

"I forget, are we're back to you knowing me, trusting me and caring at all?"

"I've never stopped, you know that!"

"No Bryce, I don't know that! What I do know is that like two days ago, your care for me stopped in about the same amount of time it took for the sex stupor wear off." She felt her face flush and knew she really needed to end this conversation.

"What? Do you really want to have that conversation right now?" Now she'd pissed him off.

"No! I don't want to have any conversation with you. Not now! Not later!"

"You know what, fine! This how it's gonna between us?"

"Yeah, pretty much!"

Nicole slammed the door closed with just enough time to spare before covering her mouth and trying unsuccessfully, to choke back tears. She grabbed a handful of tissues from the box and sat on the sofa attempting to regain her bearings.

Quinn, clad in black sweats with pink accents and still drying her hair, came back to the living room to find Nikki in tears.

"So, I'm guessing it didn't go well?"

"It's way worse than bad." Nicole said as she wiped away tears.

"How so?" Quinn asked, concerned.

"Because when I saw him I realized, that it's not that I can't just hate him. I still love him. In my heart, I've already pretty much forgiven him. But that can't be right, you know? Because I could've died. And Chelsea did die, so there can't just be some easy way to just shuffle all that's happened to the side like it's not important. There have to be consequences and reasons for all of this."

"Nikki, I know this goes against your whole God obedience/retribution thing but there isn't always some grand reason for what happens. Assholes have great things lavished on them and saints meet untimely and torturous ends. That's life. It's not fair and maybe it doesn't need to be. I mean, there are lessons to be learnt either way. Look, I know that Chelsea dying is really messed up, but do you really think you owe your personal happiness to her. Or worse, to some warped idea that your real relationship with Bryce is less worthy or epic than a potential one he could've had with his flash-chick. It's just... in all that we've talked about, you kinda seem like you maybe still want him, so... the trust thing, the flash thing, the arguing, they're all things you guys could work out. If you want to." Quinn said, careful to tread lightly.

Nicole shook her head.

"No. What happened, it's like a domino effect and pretty much happened because of me and Bryce and if we'd never... if I'd just stayed away from him... or even trusted him in the first place, it wouldn't have happened like this. And Chelsea wouldn't have died. She was there because she'd had a serious conversion experience. I was only there because of boyfriend drama. I could just have easily been in the park on a blanket making out with him the rest of the evening without so much as a second thought about Sanctuary. Our being together caused the scenario that led to her death. It can't be right to just get back together and swan off like nothing ever happened. It shouldn't be what I want because what I want isn't right." Nicole explained.

"Nikki, I honestly think you should just listen to your heart." Quinn advised sincerely.

She pretty much always followed her own instincts and rarely met with situations or ends that were for naught. Even if circuitous, things worked around for the best. And while most people took her seemingly wholly laissez-faire approach as generally uncaring and obscenely carefree, she had a method to her madness. She cared very much how things ended up for others and worked toward the greater good as she saw it, on a daily basis, but when it came to her personal life, she cherished more than anything, the journey. She'd decided long before the first flashforward that she wanted to be fully engaged in the present in life, so outside of some general long term plans she'd left herself open to just about every possibility imaginable. In all of her travels she'd yet to see anything that came even remotely close to dissuading her from that path. And seeing her BFF distraught and trapped between past and highly likely future unable to seize the day was most unbearable. Even so, she felt she couldn't make or bend other people's lives to her will or a will they themselves didn't seek.

"That's exactly what caused all this in the first place." Nicole replied, her tone cynical. She couldn't trust her heart, of that she was sure.

* * *

Bryce's fury subsided little as he walked down the corridor toward the elevator. Deciding the elevator was taking too long, he took the stairs back down to the parking garage. He was sure that if he'd waited one more minute, he'd have gone back to tell Nicole just how ridiculous and childish she was being. He knew this was most likely an act in futility when he began and never was going to be a successful endeavor but it had ended far worse than he'd ever anticipated. It'd gotten totally out of hand before he realized it. They had ended up pretty much screaming at each other in the hallway and now he regretted pushing her to have the conversation. More, he dreaded what their next interaction would be like.

But he hadn't gone to see her because he was counting on things working out immediately, not that it wouldn't have been nice. He went because he needed to see her. Hear her voice. See how she was. Admittedly, seeing how she was didn't make him feel any better considering he'd contributed to how she felt, it cancelled out, but still. The reassurance that she'd survived the 29th, even if the price was their relationship, was a comfort. At least he'd thought it was until she was standing in front of him and they'd spoken. Now, he wasn't even remotely interested in considering her safety and survival as an even trade for the sacrifice of their relationship. He had to accept that someone else had saved her because of his own rash action but he didn't have to like it or acquiesce everything else.

The time stuck in traffic en route back to Angeles gave him time to calm down, review and reassess everything that had happened and more importantly, the way it had happened. It occured to him that what he'd seen originally in his flash was the initial meeting of he and Keiko. Ergo, all that had happened up to that point was supposed to play out just like it had. So regardless of that 137 seconds, he and Nicole were supposed to build that relationship and feel what they felt. Nicole saw her flash and that prompted her to volunteer. They were reintroduced and from then on it all played out as it needed to to reach whatever ends they'd seen. Though he still wasn't really keen on Nicole having to have had Ed save her or come into her life at all. That what had been seen in the flashes six months earlier had worked around to those ends in some semblance, but only because of being put into motion by the flashes themselves was so circuitous he knew that accepting it was far better than trying to dissect it. He wished he'd stopped for a moment to think about the possible implications of his actions beforehand and made a mental note to be more deliberative when it came to their relationship.

The one thing he'd still wanted to tell her but for some reason couldn't seem to get to, was that he hadn't meant the things he'd said when they were in the driveway. He was just angry. Not that it was an excuse. He hadn't thought about it then but now he realized how hurt she'd been by it. He was still annoyed that she hadn't trusted him or in their relationship enough to just tell him about Keiko when she found out but he did understand that she was scared. Admittedly he'd been too outraged to really pay attention when she'd said that. But he couldn't very well hold a grudge against her for it. He was too well versed in actions motivated by fear to keep up the outrage part too long before becoming a complete hypocrite.

But that wasn't what was most important to him. He needed to work out how to get her to talk to him. For real. In all the time they'd spent together over the months, he'd been able to work out her moods pretty well and adjust to them accordingly. But he'd never been on the outs with her nor had he seen an instance of anyone so unfortunate, to work out how to deal with her under such a circumstance. It was clear his going with the direct approach was not the best way to have handled the situation. If not to be considered an unmitigated disaster, it was certainly not his best plan. She wasn't having any of it. But at least he'd learnt from it. As much as he hated the idea, he now realized that he'd have to wait for at least a couple days. If for no other reason than to let her anger wane a bit. He considered appealing to Quinn for help but dismissed the idea just as quickly. It was clear that Quinn had chosen her side and Nicole's screeds were enough to contend with. No, he'd just have to bide his time. They'd both be back at work together tomorrow anyway. She wouldn't be able to ignore him and he'd be able to gage the situation and plan for the next discussion of their relationship.

Whether or not another flashforward would ever occur was up in the air. How the government would suss out all the questions and outrage from the last one was something to ponder. Whether or not Ms. Reina would pull through after the seven hour surgery to repair injuries she'd suffered in her blackout induced car accident was a sixty/forty split. But Bryce was sure of one thing, no matter what mistakes had been made by he or Nicole, there wasn't anything that they couldn't work out. In his heart, he knew it.

* * *

Two days later the State of Emergency was modified so that people could move a little more freely. At the very least people were able to get out of the downtown area or into it, even if under heavy security by the National Guard. The FBI was still conducting their investigation and the Feds, with unanimous compliance by state governors, were still pretty set on keeping most major cities on some type of lockdown. Some people were actually calling it de facto martial law and were plenty upset about it. That there was serious discussion of reinstating some section of the National Defense Act that would federalize the National Guard was being hotly debated. Some felt it was extreme over-reaching by the government. Others held that not to do so would be not only irresponsible but also further destabilizing, arguing that neither the blackouts nor their effects were manageable at a state level. It was an argument they were winning with more than a couple federal buildings in major cities still smoldering, ever increasing instances of protests turned deadly riot and virtually every state seeking Federal financial assistance to deal with the fallout. But no matter which side people came down on those debates most were expressing extreme displeasure with the government's handling of the blackout. From staunch assurance that there wouldn't be another right up to the minute that word came that another would strike, to current attempts to reassure the public again, no one believed what they now said. President Segovia and his administration were taking heavy criticism, world markets were shifting toward negatives never before seen and more countries were on High Alert than not. Added to that, it was becoming increasingly clear that the public was now less inclined to share information, given what happened this time around. Instead of 20 million dead, estimates were coming in around 14 million and while that was better it was not considered great by any means.

Nicole was glad to finally get home and reunited with her mother. She was even successful in more or less avoiding Paige, who'd left her a note with her most recent list of grievances. Nicole wondered if Quinn had flashes or cable news at all, as she never seemed to change. Judy had been right about her mother, she was more calm than usual. Nicole was just so glad to see her that she would've taken her at the height of her lunacy without worry or complaint. She noticed her penny tribute wall was complete as she went through the dining room into the kitchen. She still didn't know what had inspired her mother to embark on that tangent but she did think it was neat. Nicole was pretty sure it wasn't just pennies on a wall to her and she wished that she could see whatever it was her mother saw when she looked at it.

"You're different. Changed." Her mother mentioned to her as Nicole stood in the kitchen pouring a glass of iced tea.

"Am I?" Nicole asked and offered her mother a glass.

"Yes. But you're still afraid to fly." She explained and declined the offer. "Butterflies are made to fly, my darling. You don't see them in the ocean trying to be fish. They wouldn't be happy or live long."

Nicole was going about to ask her a question but could tell she was now off on something else.

"Where's your friend? The doctor?" Her mother asked as she left the kitchen.

"He's really busy since the blackout, Mom. I don't think he'll be coming by anymore." Nicole explained as she followed.

"Well that's a shame. He should see the wall now that it's finished. He helped create it."

"I'll make sure I tell him about it."

"It's important because we won't always have it."

"Are you going to take it down?" Nicole asked. She knew to always expect the unexpected with her mother, so it didn't seem like a far fetched idea to her.

"Of course not. That'd be insane." Her mother said matter-of-factly and handed her a deck of cards.

Nicole let everything else that happened that day recede to the back of her mind as she settled into spending time with her mother. They sat on the sofa and she listened to her mother read passages from the Bible while she shuffled the cards. This was how it always went. By the time ten verses were read, shuffling was done, then the cards would be dealt and then they would play. It was a welcome routine after all the chaos of the past days.

As they played hand after hand, Nicole reflected on pieces of her day. She'd gone to retrieve her car from where she'd parked it, a couple blocks from Sanctuary only to find it had been hit. During the blackout, another driver smashed into her parked car. The driver had been nice enough to leave her a note on her windshield but there fact remained her car was not driveable. She'd called her dealership but they were extremely booked, short on staff and had an issue with delivery of parts. She knew she'd need her car sooner than their estimation. Quinn suggested some guy named Emil that Jamie used to play pickup games with. He had his own shop and fixed Quinn's car when she'd been rear ended on the Harbor Freeway and Nicole could attest to the fact that her car looked and ran perfectly. Nicole had his name and number and would call him soon to see what he could do. Her car was a fixable inconvenience but other things weren't.

She'd also stopped in at Sanctuary and found that Chelsea's funeral was to be the following week. There was no question she was going. No more question than the surety of her attending the memorial service for Mark Benford. She was trying to focus on the fact that Chelsea's death had some greater meaning and Mark had sacrificed himself in the service of a greater good. It was the only way either was bearable. She'd stopped by to see Olivia and Charlie on her way home and offer her condolences and assurance that if there was anything she could do to help, she was available. It had all reminded her that she hadn't died and whatever reason there was that could be attached to that, she was sure she wasn't meant to spend the rest of her days crying over her relationship with Bryce. She couldn't help that she was still in love with him but she could choose how to deal with it.

"Gin." Her mother said and pulled Nicole's attention back into the game at hand.

* * *

A week had passed and Nicole had very well settled into her newly acquired position in the department. Angeles was still at capacity and there was no shortage of things to do and get done. That the job itself often morphed into far more than what it was described as didn't bother her in the least. The same had been true for the volunteer version. From clerical to runner to translator to just about anything else anyone asked of her, she still maintained her cheerful, upbeat demeanor and got on.

The only drawback was that before when her duties crossed paths with Bryce they were on good terms. It seemed to her that the past week circumstances had conspired to basically have her be his own personal assistant more often than not. She wasn't sure how or why this kept happening. Even when she tried to position herself out of availability, she was pulled into some sort of interaction with him. If he wasn't in surgery, she was his shadow and he didn't seem to be stressing about it at all. In fact, Nicole was sure he was taking some sort of joy in it. And she found that maddening and more than a test of professionalism should insist upon. Their lines were far too blurred so even when they were talking about work, they were talking about them. Or wound up so.

"Here, let me..." Bryce offered as Nicole grappled with a step ladder to get to the topmost shelf.

It was early evening and she'd been on her way to Records when they'd run into one another. That they'd been able to be more than civil all week was what he considered to be positive progress. She didn't seem to be as inclined to yell at him but he wasn't sure if that was because he wasn't pushing her or because she'd reached some point of being open to reconciling. At least he'd time to work that part out. They seemed to be caught in some relationship limbo push-pull where there would take turns lobbing test shots at one another. Broken up but not. Kissing without kissing. Not just friends but not what they were. Talking but not talking about exactly what was going on or wasn't.

"No. I've got it. Thanks." she said, climbed up and pulled a box off the shelf as the bottom gave way. Files and papers rained down and splashed apart as they hit the floor.

"Damn!" She said and threw the box down and almost lost her footing on the step ladder.

"Careful." Bryce caught her arm and steadied her. He still welcomed any excuse to touch her.

"Thanks." She said and didn't pull away as she stepped down into the space between the step ladder and him. In what felt like an eternity but was only a moment, he let go of her hand and stepped back. She was disappointed and relieved.

The scent of cherries told her that he'd been in surgery with Dr. Graphia. When he scrubbed in with Dr. Benford he always came back mango scented. It crossed her mind that she knew about three other surgeons surgical suite soap scent preferences simply because of Bryce. She wondered just how much of her brain had collected such useless Bryce related ephemera over time and just how long before it would be purged from her mind.

They knelt together to pick up the strewn papers and files.

"So what's up on the floor?" He inquired casually. Not that he really cared one way or another. It was just a means to the end of getting her to talk with him.

"I'm not really sure. Everyone's been going on about some on-call room schedule mix up. The CoS walked in on them or something. He's apparently all pissed off about "improper use of the accommodations". She related as she organized her papers face up.

"Whatever. Everyone screws in on-call." Bryce shook his head at the absurdity and shrugged it off.

"Not everyone." Nicole said glancing over at him. "I mean, we never did." She wasn't sure why she'd said that.

"That's because it's ordinary. And I never considered you or us ordinary." He explained without looking up. But he took her turning the conversation to them without his prodding as a good sign and made sure not to smile too much.

"Oh please. That's the best you could come up with?" She rolled her eyes, hoping her nonchalance and slight annoyance was convincing while the butterflies in her stomach fluttered and her heart trilled at his words. She was trying to get used to these involuntary responses she had or more correctly, she was trying to get to the point where she could ignore them altogether.

"Okay, fine. You caught me. The real reason I never took you to on-call is because you're a kind of a screamer and while I thought it was dead sexy, I don't think you'd want everyone to know that." He leaned in to tell her with a slightly wicked smile.

"That is... it's so..." She stammered to come up with a response and blushed simultaneously as all too vivid memories crossed her mind.

"What? True? Undeniably true?" He asked innocently and handed her a stack of papers. He found her embarrassment to be disarming altogether and made him miss her even more.

"I don't think we should be talking about this." She shook her head in part to keep herself from dwelling on the past.

"Fine. You brought it up, not me. So... what do you want to talk about?"

"Nothing. I um... I have work to do. And you're kind of distracting me so..."

"Okay, I'll go then. See ya later."

"Yeah, later." She managed, glad he was going because she was almost positive that if he lingered another couple moments she'd have lost all sense and kissed him.

She fanned herself with a file, exhaled and silently admonished that whatever it was she was feeling was the same out of control nonsense that had gotten her into trouble in the first place. She made a mental note to be more diligent in keeping herself out of situations where they were absolutely alone together. She knew she couldn't trust herself and it was clear that while he wasn't overtly campaigning for them to reconcile, he wasn't doing anything to help her along in her breakup plight. The feeling that reconciliation was somehow an option was doubly odd because she didn't really feel like they were broken up. Not entirely. She wasn't sure why that was, how it happened or what to do about it.

"Forward not back." she said aloud and set about getting the fallen files back in order.

* * *

The next day Nicole was even more determined to move beyond the pull she still felt toward Bryce. She wasn't sure if he could sense her dilemma when they were together. Her heart and her mind opposed and alienated was more unsettling than anything else she'd experienced of late. She wasn't sad though she had regrets and her dedication to resolve and reconcile her mistakes was most important. Whatever the sacrifices she had to make, she intended on seeing them through. She just needed to work on completely making her peace with it.

So when she again crossed paths with Ed, she was more than thrilled. She took it as a sign. Maybe even as something of an escape. After a hug and thanks again for saving her they fell easily into conversation. The ease both encouraged and relaxed her.

Bryce saw and overheard them as they stood by the station and couldn't help but be annoyed. Every smile and laugh Nicole gave in response to something Ed said, burned. Bryce wanted to walk off so he didn't have to be privy to it but he couldn't bring himself to do so.

"So I was thinking, you literally saved my life, the very least I could do is buy you a coffee sometime." Nicole said with a grateful smile.

"You don't have to do that." Ed said, wholly flattered. He was still just so glad that he'd succeeded in saving her. Seeing her bright and not blue was more than satisfying.

"I know, but I want to. Please, let me."

"That'd be great. I'll give you my number." He said anxious to have the opportunity to get to know her.

"Oh, I don't have a pen." She said and turned to Bryce. "Bryce, do you have a pen I could borrow?"

"Yeah, here ya go." The hand over of his pen was accompanied by a cool sideways look. He wondered what was going on with her... and Ed. The calm ease with which he'd decided on approaching her, with intent to get her back suddenly felt like less a cogent plan.

"Thanks." She accepted the pen without much more than a glance at Bryce and handed it over to Ed, grinning as he scribbled.

"There." Ed handed her the pen and post-it he'd written on.

"Excellent. I'll call you & we can set it up."

"Looking forward to it. See you later, Nicole." Ed bade her goodbye with a brilliant smile.

She nodded, still smiling as he left. Bryce shook his head and sighed in annoyance. Ed's presence was screwing with his timetable.

"You know it'd be ethically skewed for him to date someone he's actually saved." He sniped, knowing that he was treading in waters that were apt to undo all he'd accomplished. Though he figured either Ed or Nicole's interest in Ed would achieve the same.

Nicole's smile dissolved into a frown as she turned to face him.

"Would that be more or less ethically skewed than the surgeon kissing, dating & screwing the department volunteer?" Nicole sniped back, grateful that they were the only people standing at the station at the moment. She couldn't believe he actually had the nerve to say a thing at all.

"I don't recall you complaining at the time." He countered.

"Oh, we're not talking about whether or not I minded. We're talking about your ethics and personal moral ground. It's only fair, since you seem so eager to call someone else's into question. Someone you don't even know, by the way. Someone who saved my life. Like, in reality. Surely you of all people, understand how wholly consuming feelings for someone who'd done that would be. Right?" she asked, raised eyebrow and tone laden with sarcasm borne of unfinished business.

Bryce held her gaze for a moment before speaking, unsure which he wanted more, to yell at her or kiss her.

"I've gotta go." He said finally, pissed and that he'd taken an additional minute to talk to her when he should have been hurrying to scrub in with Dr. Graphia on an awesome case infuriated him even more. But for all his annoyance, the fact remained that whether she was compliant or combative he still found her ridiculously attractive.

"Yeah, I'm sure you do." For her part, she was pretty well put out. At him for having the nerve to think he had any right to pass judgment on her, Ed or anything that could transpire between them and at herself for being in any way glad that he still gave a damn at all.


	15. Synthesis

**A/N: **Late with no excuses. I wanted the story to go one way but the characters didn't agree & thought they knew better where they should go. Voluminous revision ensued. This is long, so get your drink of choice and settle ? Let's get right to the main. This closes out _**Sync- Part 4: Fury & Folly**_. The fifth & final part (4 chapters) is _**Consonance**_ & is in process. Enjoy! Besos! xoxo

**Chapter 15: Synthesis**

* * *

_Time is too slow for those who wait. _

_Too swift for those who fear. _

_Too long for those who grieve. _

_Too short for those who rejoice. _

_But for those who love, time is eternity._

_~Dr Henry Van Dyke_

After two funerals in two days, Nicole felt numb. She wished she could find a fix for that because it felt like slighting the departed. That the grief was cumulative seemed unfair and disrespectful of the individuals lost. She still hadn't reconciled that Tracy hadn't been dead before but now really was. Aaron still seemed pretty shell shocked over losing her again and Nicole thought that was the cruelest twist of all. He'd found her and what should've been a miraculous happenstance had ended in fresh and undeniable grief. Try as she might, Nicole couldn't see a greater good or better big picture reason for that. It simply sucked.

And though there'd never been any question that she'd attend Chelsea's funeral, Nicole hadn't really thought about what it would be like to sit though. The eulogy and entire service were more confirmation of what Nicole already felt beforehand. Chelsea was much loved and would be much missed. Even before her religiosity set in, she had been known as a caring, cheerful and winsome young woman. After the service, Nicole couldn't help but stare at her family from her vantage point in the back rows. She wanted to say something but knew that no words she could string together would be enough. Just looking at Chelsea's barely inconsolable fiancee was more than enough to keep Nicole at a distance and silent. It didn't seem right to intrude on their loss. She hadn't anything she could possibly say or tell them that would help. Certainly not how she was one of the last people to talk to her before she died. Or how she saw Chelsea's fixed stare while the paramedics worked to try and save her after the blackout. No. There wasn't anything she could say. And now, seeing them she didn't feel right about her own sadness over Chelsea's death. They knew her, loved her and had endless reasons that they'd miss her. Nicole's meeting her wasn't enough to appropriate the same mantle. Not by a long shot.

After the processional and everyone pretty much filtered out, she stood and gathered her things to leave and looked up to see Ed standing in the back. Surprised to see him, she wasn't sure whether to walk over and say something or not. He remedied her dilemma by walking up to her.

"Is now a good time to call in that offer of coffee? There's a Starbucks across the street." Ed asked quietly. She looked like she could use the break and the caffeine.

Nicole smiled and nodded as they slipped out. She was glad to have run into him and even more happy that he'd approached her.

"I was surprised to see you at the funeral." Nicole mentioned as they snagged a table.

"Yeah. I didn't really plan it. Last week, I found out when it was and I didn't think much about it but this morning, I don't know. I knew I had to be there. Doesn't make much sense does it?" He shook his head, still trying to make sense of it.

"After everything that's happened? Yeah, it kinda does. The stranger things get, the more normal it becomes." Nicole mused. She didn't like abnormal being the new normal. People everywhere were becoming more unpredictable and she found it unsettling.

"So what about you? We're you friends with her?"

"Um... no, not really. We met that night and she was nice. I liked her. She was happy and sure. I guess I was just looking forward to getting to know her. And I kind of got to today hearing so many people talk about her. It seems like she had a good life. Just too short."

"Short lived but much loved. There are worse things to be." Ed offered.

"I suppose. Long lived and little loved is most likely pretty miserable."

"That's not how I'd want to be described."

"Neither would I. And thanks to you, I'm a little closer to long lived and much loved. I feel like I should thank you again, but it seems that's all I keep doing."

"Well, I'm going to institute a no thanking rule from now on. You can't thank me anymore. And we're going to have coffee together like a couple of friends would and talk about whatever it is people are talking about now. Agreed?"

"Agreed. And everyone's still pretty obsessed with the latest flashforward. You'd think there was nothing else to discuss." She shrugged, thinking of her flash and feeling herself blush slightly.

"I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that you don't really want to talk about that."

"No. Not so much."

"As the opposite side of your first one, are you at least okay in your latest flash?"

"Yes. There was no water and I was with someone I know and that's all I'm saying."

"Fair enough." He was relieved to know that she'd had a better vision this time around. But he was curious about why she didn't want to talk about them. He didn't run into many people who could keep themselves from falling into that discussion but Nicole seemed completely resolved not to do so. It was intriguing.

They settled into an easy, meandering conversation.

"I was going to post my flash on Mosaic but I couldn't figure out a good way to say _I think I'm going to get to you too late to save you from drowning_. Also, I didn't know who you were or where we were in my flash." Ed explained as their conversation touched on Mosaic.

"Yeah, that most likely wouldn't have gone over so well. Besides, I thought you were trying to kill me, so I most likely wouldn't have believed you. And that reminds me, I need to call Detective Liefeld and let him know that I'm still alive and you're not some insane person trying to kill me, instead you're the really great guy who just did the opposite."

"A detective? If you could let him know I'm really okay, that'd be awesome. Everyone's been a little more than twitchy lately and I wouldn't want to be mistaken for some kind of threat at this point." Ed smiled but his tone held a trace of seriousness.

Of late, he had picked up one too many people who'd been assailed for things they'd possibly do in the future to be entirely cavalier about being identifiable by some sketch on some file on some officer's desk. Before the flashes he'd have said that chances of people being linked and connected in highly bizarre ways was so unlikely as not to be a concern. But not now.

"This afternoon. I promise. It's still pretty incredible when I think about what happened. I keep trying to remember every detail but I can't quite put it all together. I remember going into the water. After that, I can only clearly remember pieces before I passed out and then seeing you when I woke up."

"When you opened your eyes, I was so relieved. You were awake and breathing and I felt like everything was going to be okay. You know, for more than twelve minutes."

"But it wasn't."

He shrugged. "There was something about the first flash. The way I felt after. It was like if I didn't save you, if I failed... something else would be lost."

"You'd have missed out on the coffee and the cosmos would be out of sync and who knows what that would lead to." Nicole quipped.

"Human sacrifice. Dogs and cats, living together. Mass hysteria. Lattes are the thing holding the existence of humanity in the balance."

They shared a laugh. Nicole appreciated the applicable movie quote he'd dropped. She appreciated the laughs and effortlessness between them even more. She tried not to think about the fact that it very much reminded her of how things had been between she and Bryce.

"I know that doesn't make any sense but that's how I felt. And after everything, I thought about it and I don't know if there's some greater reason for any of this or it comes down to coffee with a new friend. What I do know, is that I'm still here and as long as I am, I have to keep doing what I do."

"And during all those months you were worried, did you ever think about quitting or maybe hiding out? Just to try to avoid the whole thing."

"Never. I love my job. And, I'm good at it. Besides, I've known for a while that you can't save everyone. But if I quit, I'd miss out on the ones I could. I'd have missed you. Working or not, I knew you were in the water and needed help. So there was no out for me if it was going to happen. And even though Chelsea died, I'm not sorry that I was there. Because just like saving you, that I couldn't do the same for her, changed my perspective on everything that's going on."

"Changed how?"

"I spent six months worried and it came down to being a waste of time. I misread what was going on and assumed a lot based on how I remembered feeling during the flash. But when it actually happened, it didn't feel the same. I was actually kinda pissed when you started to fight me."

"Seriously?" She chuckled at his admission.

"Yeah. I knew it wasn't your fault, but all I could think was that you'd seen this moment too and I remember thinking, _Hell no, lady. You're not gonna win this one_. And then I got a good grip on you."

"Nice." She couldn't help but laugh. It was a quirky little anecdote to the incident.

"You asked. But, it just made me realize that the flashes are a hint but nothing close to a full picture and I didn't live my life on hints and hunches before. There's no reason to start now. I've always gone with what I know and what I have in the present and based on that planned for the future. Maybe the shock of the first flash sort of got me off track. But I'm kinda over it."

"So what about the second flash?"

"If anything, it's reminded me even more who I really am. I think I needed the reminder."

"You're so... well adjusted about all this." She wished Bryce were so well adjusted.

"Comes from growing up a military brat, I guess. When it comes to constant change, the pliable bend but the brittle break. And breaking wasn't an option in my family."

Nicole smiled and was about to respond as her phone chimed. She apologized and checked it just in case it was about her Mom.

"Boyfriend?"

"No. Don't have one." Nicole said as she saw it was Bryce calling her.

Ed nodded and recalled that the last time he'd seen her. She and Bryce didn't seem to be over. Way too much passive aggression. Whatever was going on, her tone and posture as she looked at her phone didn't really agree with her words either.

She didn't answer Bryce's call. Between their arguments, moments that reminded them how they used to be and having to work together, they'd sort of come to some unspoken agreement by attrition to be something like friends and she wasn't sure where the boundaries lay. She just knew that she didn't want to be the girl to automatically jump whenever he called. No matter how much she wanted to. She smirked just a little as he was sent to voicemail limbo. She dropped her phone back into her bag and focused on Ed.

They talked for another hour and found that they had many things in common. His growing up a military brat set off a litany of topics and remembrances. They'd found that they shared memories of some of the same places in their global treks. That they'd actually had a couple instances of time spent in certain locations that overlapped had them agreeing that under other circumstances it would be weird. By the time they parted they both felt like they'd been friends forever.

When Ed invited Nicole to go out with him to a club, she accepted readily. A night of clubbing wasn't really her thing but she was definitely up for a change and trying something different. It was just what she needed.

* * *

Quinn attended a few funerals during the week and decided she was finished with them. She was beyond feeling anything for anyone who wasn't seriously close to her and wondered if she was still burnt out from the first blackout.

She hated that the blackouts had robbed her and virtually everyone of a normal grieving process. This time around wasn't like the first blackout. People had kind of begun taking all the death as routine. Collateral damage. She wondered if it was some bizarre dehumanizing effect and she worried and wondered what it could mean in the long run. When people got used to death it was never for the good. Over the last two years she'd spent far too much time working in various war ravaged locations to be so naive. Apathy was a major societal destabilizer. Seeing the death tolls being reported like the weather was disconcerting. The numbers, though less than the first blackout were still too high to wrap the mind around. It was faceless. Abstract. That nearly the same amount of people had died six months earlier was still more than too much to process.

Due to the SoE she worked from home for the week. She had accomplished a lot and was very glad that she'd succeeded in obtaining her transfer back to LA. The blackouts had personally made her take more note of the possibility of loved ones dying and she couldn't stand the idea that she could be on the other side of the planet under such a circumstance. She didn't want to miss out on their lives or on whatever amazing things awaited her as a consequence. No matter how chaotic her schedule, she knew with each passing day that she'd made the correct decision coming back to LA. Being able to see her best friend regularly had one of the best things, in her estimation. Even if said BFF was recently given to a serious jag of boyfriend drama. If Quinn's flashforward was any indication, it was just an errant detour on the way to their destination. In the grand scheme of a friend, it was a completely tolerable segue.

"Bullshit. Crap. More crap. General nonsense." Quinn rattled off her assignations to her emails as she read down the list. She didn't bother looking up when she heard the door open.

"Still working?" Nicole asked as she came in.

"My ass off. It's seriously amazing how much is going down as a result of the most recent blackout that doesn't make it to the news. Fourth estate, my ass." She scoffed as she typed a response to one of her emails.

"I've brought Moroccan. Have you even bothered to eat today?" Nicole asked as she unpacked containers from the bags.

Observing Quinn in work mode, it was clear to Nicole why she'd done so well at RPR. When dedicated to a task, Quinn was a wholly take no prisoners kind of girl and she had a talent for getting things done.

"I had a kickass yogurt a few hours ago." She said and rifled through her bag before pulling out a file.

"So no, then."

"I do need a break. I just found out I'll be in San Francisco next week." She'd received her latest assignment to coordinate with the RPR regional director in San Francisco as the liaison between it and the LA office. It would basically mean that she would spend half her time in each city. Video conferencing was nice but RPR liked to have some things done purely in person for security reasons. Quinn had long ceased caring or wondering about how and why they chose certain things to be handled. She was still very pleased she could remain stateside instead of continuing the _New Week New Continent_ tour she'd kept up with for the last year. Since the blackouts she'd lost her wanderlust.

"Do you know how long?" Nicole asked. She had seen reports on the news of San Francisco having riots at the same level as Los Angeles.

"A few days. Organization & liaison stuff. Apparently the guy who had the job in the San Fran office just bailed. Most likely a flash related flip out. All things considered, I'm pretty lucky. So what's going on with you?" She asked as she scooped food onto her plate.

"Work, getting ready for finals and sadly, pretty much nothing else." Nicole reported. As busy as she was she still hadn't filled up all the time she used to spend with Bryce. It was one more thing that made not missing him virtually impossible.

"Yeah, right."

"I'm done with the guy drama for a while." Nicole assured between mouthfuls. If not entirely there yet, she was doing her best.

"You never told me, how was coffee with Ed?"

"It was nice. I like him."

"But."

"But nothing. He's easy to talk with and he has a great sense of humor."

"Much like someone else, if I recall correctly."

"This isn't about Bryce, so don't make it about him."

"If you say so."

"As far as the Bryce situation stands, we're just friends. Sort of."

"Whatever. You know that's not true."

"Of course it is. Even though our breakup says the total opposite, we're adults so we can be friends."

"Nope. There's no going back to being just friends for you two. But you keep telling yourself that."

"You've totally had sex with guys you're still friends with." Nicole countered.

"Yeah, but I'm not friends with the ones I was in love with."

"What about Drew?"

"Drew's different, we were friends first."

"So were Bryce and me."

"No. Not really. You can't claim that one with a few weeks, especially since those were weeks of you seriously crushing on him. And you're not me so..."

"So you can do it but I can't?" Nicole asked annoyed that Quinn didn't think she was hardcore enough to have that kind of relationship.

"I'm just saying that fundamentally, that's not who you are. You never wanted to be Bryce's _Miss Right Now_ you wanted to be _The One_. And you still do. So, no. You two can't just be friends because you don't want to be just his friend. And he really doesn't want to just be yours."

"Even if that's true, and I'm not admitting it is, that's all we can be now."

"Wow. You really have whipped up quite the alternate reality."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Nicole put down her fork, suddenly she wasn't so hungry anymore.

"You've spent these last couple weeks with him cornering, confronting and chasing you down, you've loved every minute of it and you're still trying to sell the whole neutral thing, like you don't care. There's denial and then there's... well, whatever you're doing." Quinn explained simply. She was all about having her BFF's back but she couldn't let the self-delusion bit slide.

"That's so not true. If anything, I've been trying to get him to leave me alone."

"You want him to chase you, admit it."

"I don't."

"Yeah right. If he quit tomorrow, you'd be all hurt and put out. Seriously Nikki, it's me. Tell the truth."

"Okay. Maybe a little." Nicole admitted finally and begrudgingly.

There was something about Bryce seeking her out that validated something inside her. She wasn't sure if it was petty or not and she didn't want to spend much time trying to figure it out. All that mattered was that every time he sought her out she felt something close to euphoria. It didn't matter very much that it was also tangled up with other feelings that were in conflict.

"So when are you going to move on to the next phase?"

"There isn't a next phase. We're done. This is just how it is and how it's going to be."

"Seriously?" Quinn didn't buy that in the least.

"There's no trust, so there's no fixing it."

"So have you figured out how to work counter to your flash or something?" Quinn was genuinely curious. When Nicole had explained what she saw in her most recent flash she almost sounded like she wanted it to happen or at the very least regretted that it wouldn't.

"Well, no. But the flash doesn't have to be."

"It doesn't have to be but if the last time around is any sort of indicator, you should most likely come up with a better plan than that."

"I can't plan against an unknown date."

"But you are holding out hope that the flash is at least partly accurate."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he's obviously healthy and happy in your flash, so you're still counting on that part working out, right? That's what you're going by to give yourself license to slowly tick off the days while you make him pay." Quinn explained. She wasn't judging, just calling it as she saw it.

"That's not what I'm doing."

"Oh, so you'd really do all this if you thought he was going to die... like soon?"

Nicole didn't like the way Quinn said it so casually.

"No. I mean, this isn't about that. Of course, I hope that part of my flash happens. You make it sound like I'm just wasting time."

"No, I know it's more complicated than that. But Nikki, you can't have it both ways. You wanted him to want you, ostensibly for more than Flashforward Day. And yes, you both messed it up pretty well but you still want him. And he's been doing everything for like weeks to let you know he wants you. I just... I mean, what more do you want from him? Because you're not happy. He's not happy. But you were happy together. So maybe you can work the other stuff out and just be together and be happy already

* * *

Nicole's shift had been quite the rollercoaster ride and it didn't show any signs of slowing down. She'd found she inherited the work of the other department clerical who'd simply called in and resigned. And had it not been so busy, Nicole would have had a moment to spend being properly annoyed. As it turned out, she was running in six different directions at once trying to do the work of two overworked people. She was sure she was almost at the limit of her organization and multitasking capabilities but she pressed on. When she looked up to see Bryce, she was surprised.

"You look tired." Nicole mentioned as she handed Bryce a stack of patient files. She hadn't seen him since she'd arrived for her shift hours earlier.

"I've been in surgery for ten hours. I should look tired." He replied offhandedly as he flipped through, signing and noting.

"That's all it is?" She asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

She'd told Quinn that one of the worst things about their current state of their relationship was not asking him how his weekly tests had gone. She figured he didn't feel like discussing it with her anymore as he never offered any information on the subject. She couldn't help but care and no matter what else happened, she still wanted him to remain well enough to begin the clinical trial on time.

He looked at her and got what she was really asking. Even if he was in the mood to talk about it, he sure as hell wasn't going to do it in the middle of the department where just anyone could walk up or overhear. And she knew that.

"Yeah, that's all. I need you to take these to Radiology. Have Mrs. Lydecker's labs come back yet?" He handed her the files, his tone frosty.

"Radiology. No problem. And no, not yet, on the labs."

"It was a rush."

"I called twice and they said they were backed up." Nicole explained as she accepted a large stack of files from a passing nurse.

"This isn't backed up, they're at a standstill. How long ago?" He was tired of the "backed up" line from the Lab. His personal tests were still sitting somewhere down there waiting to be run. Their "rush" was pushing the higher end of four days. By the time his results came back, he'd be up for another round of tests.

Nicole checked the time, surprised by how much had actually passed. "A few hours."

"Fine. I'll go explain what "Rush" means."

"I can go. I need to drop stuff in Records too. It's on my way." She offered, partly because she was worried about him and partly because he was so annoyed.

"No. I've got it." He said, about to turn and go.

"Bryce..."

"All I need, is for you to do what I asked you to do!" He cut her off abruptly. "Just... take that to Radiology. I'll take care of the rest."

Nicole nodded, surprised into silence and watched as he walked down the corridor. Whether tired or something else, he seemed to be running well enough on anger. It wasn't like him to be that way usually and that made her worry even more. When she lost sight of him she turned to go to Radiology. She was already considering whether the direct or indirect way would be best in finding out what was going on with him.

####

Later, Bryce found Nicole diligently working on an ongoing project in Records. A stack of paperwork and files on the desk in front of her almost hid her from view as she typed away.

"You know accessing patient information without direct cause could get you into a crapload of trouble, right?" He asked, grateful that she was the only person up here after hours.

"I don't know what you're talking about.' She tried, hoping he'd go away.

"Yes, you do." He persisted.

Part of him was glad that she cared enough to check but he was also worried that she'd jeapordize her job that way, just to check on him. Especially when she could have just asked him up front.

"Bryce, can we not do this?" She asked and tried to keep working.

"No we have to do this. You accessed my patient file. Why did you do that?"

She realized she was caught out. She'd used his login information to check and had hoped that enough time would have elapsed before he logged in himself that hers would go unnoticed.

"I... just wanted to see if you were still okay,. And make sure you were still fine for the clinical trial."

"Why didn't you just ask me?'

"I don't know. Because we're not like we're like that anymore."

"How can you say that?" It hurt to hear.

"I don't know. You don't tell me anything and I don't feel like I should ask. I just... I was worried about you. And we just wind up arguing more often than not, so I just thought that if I just looked I'd have my answers and I could either be scared, feel better or try to help... if you'd let me. I just wanted to know, either way."

"You didn't think I'd tell you the truth if you asked?"

"I couldn't be sure. When we were good, you told me everything. But before, you'd decided that going it all alone was a better way to go and you wound up on the pier... and I was just..." She couldn't finish.

"Hey. You don't have to worry about that, okay? I promise." He told her sincerely and wished he'd found a better way to tell her about that whole thing. They could have talked about it instead of it being one more unfinished conversation between them. For months he'd tried to think of a way to explain in order to avoid scaring her and making her worry but that's what happened anyway.

"You remembered how to read the results?" He asked, hoping to change the tenor of the conversation.

"I never forgot anything you ever told me." Nicole admitted. She still wondered sometimes if he'd any idea how seriously she'd taken him and their relationship.

"My tests were just taking longer than they should've and the waiting was getting to me." He explained.

"Why didn't you just ask them to run them? Isn't that a physician's perk?"

"I don't know how to explain it. I knew I needed them run asap but patients needs took priority."

"You're a patient too, you know." She understood his point but he was the patient she cared most about.

"Trust me, I know. It's not something I forget. It's most likely not the most rational thing but I wouldn't feel right pushing to get to the front of the line. Patients worry and so do their loved ones. They're all counting on the best and most efficient care possible."

"Well, you have people who love you too who are expecting you to have the best care for the best possible outcome." She said and remembered how he was in her flash and hoped for possibly the hundredth time that it was as far off as possible. The thought of him not getting better or worse, being gone, still made her stomach tie into knots.

"Are you admitting that you still love me?" He asked with a disarming smile, half kidding. Most likely way less than half.

"Don't, Bryce." She shook her head and looked away. Proximity always made it harder to keep herself from falling back into the idea of "_them"_. It made it way harder to lie to herself or convince him of her resolve.

"Don't what?" He watched as her hopefully reminiscent expression clouded over.

"Wreck the moment. Just leave it." She didn't want to have that conversation. She knew she was all too apt to wear down and give in she let that door open even a little.

"Right. Whatever." He sighed, annoyed that once again she'd halted anything that felt like it could take them back to the way they were.

"So what? Now you're angry again?"

"Yeah a little bit. You do this thing where you want to talk about personal things but it's all one sided. As soon as the personal shifts to you, you're out." He couldn't stand that he'd fallen for it more than once. His belief that she'd finally come around was lessened each time.

"And you wonder why I looked up your results instead of asking? I didn't want to have to go through any of this extra stuff with you!" She knew he'd called it correctly but she had decided that she wasn't going to have the conversation no matter what he said. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

"What do you want from me?" He couldn't see why she was so put out with him wanting to capitalize on good moments between them.

Nicole paused before she spoke, thinking of the best out she could come up with.

"I need help getting ready for my OChem final. It's next week."

He hadn't been expecting anything remotely like that and her answer gave him pause. "OChem final. Really?"

"You asked. I answered." She shrugged and looked away. She hoped he'd let this be the end of it.

"Okay fine, when?" He knew just what she was doing and he knew that pushing her any more would likely not work in his favor.

They called an uneasy and unspoken truce to their daily emotional extortion session. It always ended the same way. Temporarily.

* * *

Nicole looked from her reflection in the mirror to the dresses deemed unworthy and discarded laying on the bed. The three that were hers had been quick to be abandoned as options. Each was tied in one way or another to time she'd spent with Bryce. She'd worn the black one on one of their dates. The purple had been the one she'd worn to the rehearsal dinner in Monterey. And the yellow, she'd bought specifically for a date they'd made for April 30th, which never happened. She'd thought about returning that one but just couldn't bring herself to do it. Like if she did return it, she was really closing the door on that date ever happening. Not that that made any sense. The day had come and gone and so too had the relationship. Even so, she couldn't return it. But when she was getting ready for her date with Ed and tried it on, she knew she couldn't wear it either. Not now. It looked right but it just wasn't.

"Since when do you do hooker chic?" Quinn asked as Nicole worked diligently on her hair in the mirror.

"You said I could borrow any outfit I wanted. You don't think it looks okay?" Nicole stopped to pirouette for Quinn.

"Not on you." Quinn tried not to frown. It was one of her favorite little black dresses to go clubbing in. It fit like it was painted on and was still insanely comfortable.

"Nice." Nicole rolled her eyes and went back to her hair. She didn't want to hear Quinn tell her that she was just as transparent as she feared. She'd spent too much time telling herself that she wasn't.

"No. It if was you, I'd know. It's not you." Quinn explained. She left out the part that it was conspicuously her. It was all too clear that Nicole was going for anything but herself.

"So what? Sexy on you equals slutty on me?" Nicole asked a bit miffed.

"You know sexy is all about confidence and comfort. Remember that party last year when I wore it?"

"Yes. That girl tried to set your hair on fire after you were off dancing with her boyfriend too long. She was kinda pissed."

"She was kinda insecure and threatened."

"So you're saying it was the dress?"

"It wasn't so much the dress as _me_ in the dress. That's the threat. It's like moving in your own skin. In this, you don't look confident or comfortable. You look like you're trying to be. So, no. It doesn't come together exactly right. It's just surface. It's not you. But, whatever. Wear it if you want to."

Nicole rolled her eyes again and went back to fiddling with the straps on the dress. She realized in part that Quinn was right but she didn't care. She took stock of herself in the mirror and decided that since it fit well in all the right places, she'd nothing to worry about. So what if she was most comfortable going more understated than extremely glammed up. Sometimes it was a good thing to step out of one's comfort zones.

"Why not go with a dress you'd actually buy for yourself? Or one you actually feel good in? You know, it's not like you've had some bad track record with attracting guys by being yourself. I'm pretty sure it wasn't the peasant tops, tee shirts, chinos and denim that got Bryce all hot and bothered over you. It was just you. Not you trying to be someone you're not." Quinn told her and crossed the hall back to her bedroom.

"And we both know how well that whole thing ended." Nicole countered as she slipped on her earrings and slipped off her cross. She really didn't want to talk about Bryce. And this so wasn't about him anyway.

"So your solution is to attract some other guy by not being yourself because you think that doesn't have massively ginormous fail written all over it?" Quinn called from her bedroom as she continued to pack for her trip.

"No. That's not my solution, but thanks for the vote of confidence." Nicole replied as she stood in the doorway, finally done assembling herself.

"You know, you could just skip all this nonsense and call Bryce."

"Quinn..." She didn't want to hear this from Quinn.

"I'm just saying... that's what all this is about anyway. You spend all this time and expend all this effort to try and prove that you're over him. And I have to watch and be embarrassed for you because it's so painfully clear that not only aren't you over him, you're so tangled up, you're practically strangling yourself."

"I've got to go. Thanks for the dress. You're the best and have safe trip. I promise to come by and take care of the plants and the mail." Nicole said as she hugged Quinn before grabbing her purse and heading for the door. It was always twice as hard to convince herself of what she was doing when Quinn was around to call her out with the truth.

"No problem. You're welcome." Quinn said and folded her clothes before dropping them into her suitcase. She regretted just a little that she couldn't take the dress Nicole had borrowed with her. It was her lucky dress.

Nicole grabbed her keys to Quinn's and closed the door behind her. She didn't want to be late meeting Ed. She'd told him she'd be waiting in the lobby when he arrived, so he didn't have to bother with parking. As she waited for the elevator to arrive, she couldn't help but critique her reflection in the window at the end of the corridor. A pang of uncertainty struck her as it occurred to her that it was maybe too short. And maybe the makeup was too much. It was too late to change now even if she was losing her nerve. She was tugging at the dress when the elevator doors opened.

She looked up to see Bryce before her and tried to take a more confident posture, abandoning her dress adjustment.

"Wow. Nice dress. Changed your mind about the kind of chemistry you need my help with?" He was more than a little surprised to see her in a dress like that to begin with and even more surprised to see her made up as she was. Even if it wasn't very much her, he wouldn't necessarily call it bad.

"Like I'd wear this for you. What are you doing here anyway?" She asked, feeling every bit as uncomfortable and self-conscious as Quinn had suggested earlier. She hated that she'd been so easy to read, even if it was by her best friend. Bryce being able to see through her facade bothered her most and motivated her to work at it that much harder.

"You said you needed help getting ready for your final. Tonight." He knew she was busy but he couldn't see her forgetting that. It made him wonder if this was just another way for her to show him how pissed off she was.

When she'd asked for his help, he'd agreed just as much for himself as he had for her. All that mattered was getting to spend time with her. He knew she really only needed him to check her work and let her know she was on the right track. He was pretty sure she knew it too.

"No, I know that, but I left you a message at the station that we could reschedule since you were doing a double." She explained as they stepped into the elevator.

She mentally cataloged a list of random things as they stood facing one another. The subtle hint of spearmint scented soap meant Dr. Covington's surg suite. White long sleeved tee shirt. Black jeans that she'd picked out one of the times they'd hung out in Westwood. Her OChem study guide was in his hand. She'd been looking for it for two weeks. She remembered now that she'd left it at his house. Before. His hands. She missed them. He was saying something to her.

"... so I didn't get your message."

"Well, we can reschedule." She mentioned with a shrug and told herself to stay on topic. It was way too easy for her mind to stray when he was around. Memories always got in the way and triggered desires that were simply lost causes.

"Can _we_?" He asked sarcastically. Her assumption that he'd do so grated a bit. Mostly because he actually would.

"Or not. It's just... I'm on my way out."

"Of course. You're really going out?"

"Yes. I really am. Look, just forget about the reschedule. I'll work my studying out on my own. It's not your problem. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have even asked." Nicole said with a shrug as the elevator doors opened. She was fighting the urge to adjust the dress again.

They stepped out and walked across the lobby. Nicole spotted Ed waiting through the glass doors and waved.

"So that's what all this is in aid of." Bryce said indicating her dress and the rest.

It sounded to Nicole like an accusation. "I don't know what makes you think I owe you any explanation."

"You're going out on a date. With him?"

"Not your business, but yes." She told him, with her chin high and a taunting tone. She turned and walked off.

Bryce paused for a moment before following behind. He half wanted to shrug her "_date_" off as nothing. She'd been alternating between hot and cold toward him for just over two weeks. Well maybe not between hot and cold but definitely warm and cold. But the chance that he could be mistaken, assured he wouldn't just let her walk off. Even if it was a bad idea.

Outside, Nicole walked over to Ed waiting by his car.

"Hi!" She greeted him with a bright smile.

"Hey. You look great." He smiled back, glad to see her.

"She's lovely isn't she?" Bryce interrupted, standing next to Nicole. He was getting tired of this game.

"Bryce!" Nicole couldn't tell if his tone was pissed or sarcastic. She wanted him to go away or not at the same time.

"Yeah, I know. Places to go, things to do, but I just need to borrow her for one minute. You don't mind, do you Ed?" Bryce asked, not caring at all if Ed did. He didn't bother to wait for an answer before taking Nicole's hand and turning to walk away.

Ed watched the pair walk off. Or more correctly, Bryce stalk off and Nicole take extra steps in her heels to keep up. Nicole looked back at him, holding up her hand for him to wait a minute and then disappeared inside. He still couldn't tell if it was a classic case of _Nice Girl Attracted to Asshole_ or something far more complex. Whatever it was, it didn't look over.

"What are you doing?" Nicole asked, finally pulling her hand free, when they were back in the lobby.

"Me? What are you doing?" Bryce couldn't believe her questioning him. Worse, he couldn't reconcile the idea that she was interested in Ed. He didn't believe she could just turn off feelings she'd had for him for months in no time and move on to the paramedic. That it looked like she was trying to do just that scared him more than he wanted to admit.

"I'm going on a date! And you're embarrassing me." She told him, wholly annoyed that even though he'd exceeded the boundaries of their current relationship, she was on some level relieved he still gave a damn.

"You're embarrassing yourself. You don't need my help."

"This is ridiculous. I don't have to stand here and explain myself to you." She turned to leave.

"Choose. Right now. Me or him." Bryce said, fully realizing that ultimatums had a fifty-fifty chance of going the way the issuer wanted. And of late, his track record wasn't so great where Nicole was concerned.

"What?" She stopped and turned back toward him. She felt her heart race with nervous anticipation. Something inside didn't like where this could go.

"You heard me. It's him or it's me. Tell me now. So we can stop doing this." He was tired of whatever this was they were doing because it wasn't working out. Just the same, the threat of calling it done between he and Nicole bothered him. He wasn't so sure he could back it up if pushed.

"Bryce, it's not a competition or some kind of payback." She managed, trying to keep her voice even. She didn't like it, but that same scared feeling she felt when they'd argued on Flashforward Day in the driveway came back. The feeling of the finality of them spiraling outside of her grasp was terrible altogether.

"Whatever. You know that's not true at all." That she kept lying to herself was bad enough. That she kept trying to convince him of her sincerity, simply pissed him off.

"Besides, it's not like we're together. We're over." She countered, in a moment of either bravery or stupidity. She couldn't tell which anymore.

"We're over?" He'd had enough. He leaned in and pulled her into a kiss.

Nicole couldn't think and she didn't want to. If she could have stayed right in that moment with Bryce, she would have. It was a most vivid reminder of all that was and underscored what was being thrown away now. Or was it only deferred? Inevitable? She was just about ready to believe anything he wanted her to. All over again.

Though he didn't want to, Bryce pulled back breaking their kiss. Before Nicole could think to stop herself, she leaned forward in an effort to prolong the kiss. Broken or not, she was clearly dazed and breathless.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." He said when he saw the expression on her face.

"I... that doesn't mean anything. I have to go." She was frowning and let go of the hold she'd had on his shirt when they kissed before turning to walk away. She felt dizzy. Both annoyed that he'd kissed her and that he'd stopped, she knew the kiss meant everything. It was the first purely unguarded interaction she'd had with him in weeks.

That she was Jello-legged as she went gave Bryce no solace. He was too caught up on the fact that she was leaving. He watched her get into Ed's car and drive away. He didn't want to know how far she was going to go to make her point or make him pay. He was more worried now than pissed.

####

Bryce watched Nicole leave with Ed and knew he couldn't put it off any longer. No matter what he did he came up with two unacceptable results. Either he'd push Nicole further away or find that they were stuck in neutral. He was definitely at a loss with her and there was only one person who could fill in the gaps. He headed back up to Quinn's apartment.

Quinn opened the door, a look of surprise on her face and the cacophony of some song with heavy base guitar blaring behind her. Bryce was surprised she'd heard the doorbell at all.

"Nikki's not here. You just missed her." She greeted with a shrug. She wished these two would just work it out already.

"I know. I'm here to see you. I need your help. And I'm totally prepared to beg if that's what it takes." Bryce explained, completely resigned to his situation.

"Wow. Could you be more pathetic?" She shook her head in pity.

"Would I be here if I didn't know I'd reached that point?" He asked not caring at all about Quinn's dig. He hadn't the time or inclination to be embarrassed or annoyed, he just needed to know the right way to go about getting results. Pride wasn't even on his list. It was all taken up with getting Nicole back.

"Fine. Come in." Quinn said and headed for the living room. She picked up the remote and turned off the music.

"Thanks." Bryce closed the door behind him and hoped that he Quinn could help him work out what he needed to do to get Nicole back.

"No big deal. Between you and Nikki, I'm starting to feel like some sort of therapist. And I'm nowhere near that nurturing in my natural habitat. I mean, for her, I've got unlimited patience but you... well, you're not on the same list."

"I know you're her best friend and I'm the guy that broke her heart, but I just really need to know how to fix this."

"What's the problem as you see it?" Quinn asked as she slid her laptop and files into her bag. Whatever she didn't have done wasn't going to be finished tonight, of that she was sure.

"She won't talk to me. At least, not in any way that matters. And every time we're close to having a decent moment she shuts it down. It doesn't matter what I do or say. And now she's going out with... Ed. And that, doesn't make any sense!"

"So you want me to intervene with Nikki and try to get her to talk to you and let go of the hostility and whatever she's up to with Ed."

"Yes."

"No."

"What?"

"Clearly not the answer you were expecting."

"No. Not so much."

"My best friend's brain has turned into some endless loop of you and after everything, you have the temerity to show up to ask me to help you. I'm bold but you're taking it to a whole new level. Ego much?"

"It's not like that.

"You usually get your way, don't you? Cause I'm pretty sure Nikki doesn't tell you no very often, so maybe that's part of your problem."

"Everyone likes to get their way."

"True. But how has it not occurred to you to just let this one ride out."

"I tried that. It didn't work."

"You tried. For what? Two weeks? Tops? You feel you've put in enough time now? Why does everything have to be on your timetable? Seriously, everything you've said to try and convince me to help you has been about you and what you want."

"No..."

"Yes. You want me to talk to Nikki because you're ready to work it out and she's not doing what you want her to, when you want her to."

"Fair enough assessment. Although, it sounds less self-serving and more selfish when you put it that way."

"Look, I know you love her but you've just got to give her whatever time she needs to work it out for herself." Quinn advised and walked into the kitchen.

"You make it sound so simple. And what's supposed to happen while I'm giving her all this time?"

"She hooks up with someone else or she doesn't? Who knows? And what difference does it make? She gave you time to figure out your flash-chick thing. Why can't you return the favor?" Quinn asked handing one of two bottles of iced tea to Bryce and took a seat across from him on the sofa.

"It's not the same situation. All those months, Keiko was an idea. An image. Not some living, breathing, real person that I knew. She was never some sort of threat."

"Well, I can tell you for a fact, that Nikki felt just as threatened by your idea as you do about how she may feel about Ed. Keiko was no more her problem than Ed is yours. And now you know how she felt when you left her standing in your driveway while you took off behind someone else. You want my best advice? Man up and do now, what you expected her to do before. Trust her and trust that no matter what, your relationship can take it and it'll work out."

"I can't believe you just told me to man up." Bryce chuckled and appreciated her candor. "And you said you wouldn't help me."

"Well, I'm feeling generous tonight. Besides, I know Nikki still loves you."

"It just sucks having her angry with me."

"You're only half the problem. She's just as angry with herself for hurting you."

"So, I guess it is what it is. At least for now."

"Pretty much. Can I ask you something I've been dying to know?"

"Sure."

"Dude, what the fuck were you thinking bailing on Nikki?"

"The short answer is, I wasn't thinking that's what I was doing or how it would turn out."

"And the long answer?"

"Is that, when she told me Keiko was here, all I could remember was what I felt like when I went looking for her. That compulsion. I understood it and I just thought, that if she came here looking for me feeling like that... that leaving her alone in lockup for one more minute without trying to help her would just be... it was just unthinkable."

In his mind, he had replayed that conversation between he and Nicole so much that he knew exactly when the moment occurred that he'd stopped really listening to anything else she said. He'd been too angry at her seeming willingness to leave someone in such a vulnerable position and every reason she gave he found untenable. And when he finally began to realize what she was saying and understand how she felt, it was too late.

"Surprisingly, I can kinda understand that. And considering that I'm predisposed to dismiss any sort of answer you could come up with, that's impressive." Quinn admitted. "And don't think I don't understand the whole, flash-love thing. I get the feeling part, I just don't do mania."

She explained that in her most recent flash in the midst of other things, she was with a man she loved.

"So when you woke up, how did you know that it was love and not something else?" Bryce asked.

"Well, I do my fair of comparison shopping, so I can tell by how I felt in the flash that he wasn't a one off. We knew each other. Really well. We were laughing at some inside joke we had. Like, you know how you can whisper two words and the other person just knows and you both just start laughing? It was like that. The way he whispered in my ear and the way I rested my hand on his chest as he did. It was intimate and comfortable. It was love." Quinn explained as she recalled what she'd experienced. Most of all she liked the calm and ease she'd felt.

"But you aren't out there now looking for this guy."

"Because I don't need to go out and make it happen. I saw it, so if that's some sort of sign that it's meant to be, it'll happen organically, not as an effect of something I had to engineer or force into being, you know?"

"Yeah. That actually makes complete, rational sense." He admired her sense of balance, mostly because it was so counter to how he'd been after the first flash.

"I want to find out how it's supposed to happen. I want to have the journey, not give chase. So, whoever he is, I'm looking forward to meeting him... whenever. But I already have a life to live and whenever we cross paths, he'll be added to it maybe, not give me one or make the one I already have worth living. I'm already a whole person and I appreciate what I have. Besides, he could be married or something right now, what would I look like showing up expectantly and intruding on whatever his life is?" She explained, she couldn't even begin to imagine purposely turning her life into any more of a chaotic convolution than it already was. There were plenty of other people taking that route and the results weren't bearing out to be very pretty in the end.

"Desperate."

"Well, desperation has never exactly been love has it?"

"No. And I have it on pretty good authority that patience is more suited." He recalled Nicole telling him that months ago when he was in Tokyo. That he hadn't really heard her then but instead understood all these months later was regretful. "So if it doesn't happen?"

"Then it doesn't happen. It's not the end of my world. Something even more amazing could happen. I already have a pretty awesome life. What am I gonna do, complain?"

"Some would."

"Well, not me. Millions of people have died as a result of the blackouts. If that's not lesson enough to appreciate the people in our lives that we love now, then I don't know what is. At least, that's how I make sense of all this in my mind."

"I think you're right." Bryce agreed thoughtfully and mulled Quinn's perspective.

"Well, Nikki's currently kinda cornered the market of flash stress, so I try to balance it out with a little pragmatism."

"What did she see this time? When I asked her she wouldn't say."

"If she doesn't want to tell you, I certainly won't. It's not mine to tell." Quinn explained steadfastly.

"Did you tell her yours?"

"All I told her was that she was in mine and she didn't want to know anymore. She feels like the knowledge of her own flash is more than enough, so she doesn't want to know anyone else's because she doesn't want to have to worry about what she is or isn't moving toward or away from."

"In your flash, was she happy?"

"She was very happy." Quinn said simply.

"She was happy in mine too. We were on some balcony and it was snowing."

"Snowing?" Quinn looked up surprised he'd seen something that matched hers so specifically.

"Yeah. I don't know where we were but I could hear people laughing, talking. There were glasses toasting, I think. Maybe a party or something? What?"

Quinn's expression was a mix of surprise and reticence.

"What did you see?"

"If I tell you this, you have to swear you're not going to go all stupid and use it as some justification to push Nikki to do what you want. I mean it. Seriously."

"I promise. Just please, tell me."

"Fine. In addition to the guy I told you about, I saw you and Nikki. You were just through these beveled glass doors that opened onto a balcony. It was night and the snow was falling. From where I was standing, you both looked happy."

"Do you remember anything else? Do you know when it was?"

"February 13, 2016."

"2016?" The revelation that Quinn had seen he and Nicole coupled with the date was beyond stunning.

"Yeah. That was pretty much my reaction after the fact."

"How do you know?" So far, 2014 was the farthest reported flashforward time seen.

"I know because I saw it written down. Nikki wrote a note in a card and in my flash I read it."

"You're sure she didn't write it on some other date?"

"No. It was the same day. Night, whatever. It was handed to me."

"What did it say?"

"I don't think you need to know that part."

"Why not?"

Because it's seriously not going to help you."

"How can you possibly know that. Look, I promised already that I won't say anything to Nicole. I just want a another piece to the puzzle so there's more context to the picture. Please."

"She wrote: "_Thanks Quinn for throwing us the best engagement party ever. You're the best, LYLAS, Nikki (& Bryce too) 02.13.2016_." Quinn recounted with a shrug. She hoped she was doing the right thing by telling him and she wouldn't regret it later.

"Wow." He felt like he was racing to catch up. The date and not being incapacitated or dead was pretty monumental. And the rest, completed the task of rendering him just about speechless.

"Yeah. See? How's that for context?" She asked

"I don't know what to say. Wow. You must be the best secret keeper ever. How could you not tell her this?"

"Because she doesn't want to hear it. She doesn't feel like she needs to know. And don't forget, you're not going to tell her either."

"I know. I promised. Right. I'm gonna go home and... think about everything. Thanks, for helping me. Especially because you didn't have to. I promise it won't be a wasted effort." Bryce said, still stunned by the revelations of the evening.

"You're welcome. Just please, I'm begging you, don't fuck it up. And just give her a little leeway if she looks like she will." Quinn implored, hoping that if one of them could hold it together just long enough the other would catch up.

* * *

Nicole's night out with Ed flew by in a whirlwind. The clubs he took her too were packed, loud and just the thing she wanted in a distraction from everything else going on. She had been fascinated by it all, even though she had not been sure she had exactly had fun. By the time they wound up in the middle of a Silly String flash mob, Nicole didn't think twice at all if participation was ill advised. She grabbed two cans and jumped right into the fray next to Ed. When they were picked up in a police sweep, she was more surprised than anything. The SoE was still in effect and the authorities were not very keen on large groups of people assembling. A Silly String flash mob was pretty benign but since the last blackout, there had been too many instances of protests turned riot out of nowhere, so neither the police nor National Guard were taking any chances.

Let go after their background checks were done and came back clean, Nicole and Ed met up outside the police station as the sun began rising.

"Some night, huh?" Ed asked with a smile.

"Oh yeah. I think I've finally got all the silly string out of my hair." Nicole said. She was tired but still thrilled by the novelty of the night. Quinn would hardly believe it.

"I guess I should get you home."

"Coffee first."

"Even better."

Nicole smiled and felt giddy as they walked up the street. She wanted to prolong the feeling.

####

As soon as she kissed him she knew it was off. There wasn't anything wrong with the kiss as far as the mechanics went. But the chemistry... it wasn't right. So clear that she couldn't even lie to herself, it came down to the simplest thing ever. No matter how much she wanted it not to be so, she couldn't deny it and she'd never be able to get past it. As great as Ed was, as much as they had in common, as fated as she'd wanted it to be, one simple fact remained in that kiss. He didn't feel right. He didn't taste right. She'd been hoping for his kiss to replace Bryce's but only came up with a searing reminder of the very thing.

"I'm sorry. This isn't right." Nicole said as she pulled back almost spilling her coffee all over the front seat of Ed's car.

She remembered what it was like to be on the receiving end of what she'd perceived as a kiss that was about someone else. She hadn't liked it one bit and here she was foisting the very same on someone else. But what she'd done was worse. Bryce's kiss all those months before had been about her but her kissing Ed wasn't even remotely about Ed. It was all about Bryce. That she always seemed to find a way to talk about Bryce with Ed was bad enough, now she'd compounded that problem.

"It's okay. We're good." Ed told her. He hadn't exactly seen the kiss coming.

"I just... shouldn't even be here. Not like this. I'm just embarrassing myself." She admitted. All she wanted to do was go home take off Quinn's dress and take a shower.

"Don't be embarrassed. I like you, as a friend, so it's all good. You've just got some relationship stuff going on that you need to work out." He assured, not wanting her to be upset.

"Is it that obvious?" Nicole was way past embarrassed.

"It's pretty obvious. Even without all that when I came to pick you up, it was pretty clear. Look, I don't know him, but I can personally attest to the fact that every time I've run into him, you've been the topic and he's been pretty consistent with making an ass of himself."

"Yeah, about that and before... he's not like that most of the time. He's usually really nice to everyone. I expected him to, of course, be nice to you because you saved me but I guess that's too much to ask."

"Yeah, it's kind of a lot." Ed told her.

He still didn't know exactly what went down between them the night before but whatever it was when Nicole had come back outside, she was clearly distracted.

"You're defending him?" Nicole was more than surprised.

"Not so much defending as, I just get it. Call it a guy thing."

"A guy thing?"

"No man really wants to be in any situation where he feels like someone else came in and took care of the woman he loves when it should have been him."

"That's ridiculous." She maintained though the thought of Bryce still loving her tugged at her heart.

"Like I said, it's a guy thing. Besides, how ridiculous can it be when you said yourself that you were mad at him for not being with you that night?"

"That's entirely different."

"How? You can be mad at him for that but he can't be mad at himself for the same thing?"

Nicole couldn't answer because she hadn't thought about that. She'd been so caught up in her own feelings, it didn't even occur to her that Bryce's recent actions had anything to do with his having sincere regret.

Ed got the complicated relationship thing and knew firsthand that sometimes making a complete fool of yourself was not only unavoidable but also the thing you needed to do to get to whatever the next step on the path was.

"It doesn't matter. Not anymore. It's too late." Nicole shook her head.

"I don't know. For months I seriously believed I'd reached you too late to save you because I couldn't see the whole picture. But here you are, fresh off a short stint at One Police Plaza after showing off pretty decent skills in Silly String War 2010.

"So you're saying I'm meant for more than Silly String combat?"

"Possibly. Maybe it'll work out or maybe it won't but if you're not ready to move on, maybe there's a reason."

"It sounds so simple when you say it."

"Observer's prerogative. And my fair share of complicated ex-girlfriend stuff."

So many things were so topsy turvy but a couple were becoming more clear no matter how much she worried or tried to deny them. She knew without a doubt that she was ready for her OChem final. She was done worrying about it. And she knew that even with she and Bryce ending up more or less estranged, her feelings for him hadn't changed, no matter how she'd tried to force it. No matter what had happened. Her heart had either never taken the messages from her brain or simply wrote them off entirely as being from an entity that simply didn't know what the hell it was doing. That Quinn, Bryce and now Ed had all been aware of this before she could admit it should have bothered her but she was way past that.

####

"This was certainly one of the strangest nights I've ever had but good. Thanks. For everything." Nicole said as Ed stopped in front of her house.

"No problem. I had a good time. Next time we go out, you get to pick where we end up. I have a feeling we'll run a lower chance of ending the night with police involvement."

"Sounds like a good plan." Nicole laughed as she got out of the car. She still hardly believed she'd actually sat in a holding cell.

"Good luck with your finals."

Her reply dissolved in her mind when she saw Bryce pull up. It occurred to her she might need a bit of luck on more than just her finals.

"Are you good?" Ed asked as her expression changed.

"Yeah, it's totally fine. I'll see you later." She assured him with a smile and waved as he drove away.

She met Bryce halfway. She couldn't read his expression but she felt guilty just the same.

"It's not what it looks like." She began to explain even though she knew she shouldn't feel like she needed to.

"You don't owe me an explanation. And I don't really want to know anyway, so... I was on my way to work and just came to drop off your study guide. Thought you might need it." He explained and handed over the book. He had resolved to act on Quinn's advice, but had hoped for an easier first run. He noticed she wasn't wearing her cross and reminded himself that whatever the reason, he didn't want to know.

"Thanks." She accepted the book, grateful to have something to hide behind and folded her arms across her chest.

"Sure. And I'm sorry about last night. You were right and I shouldn't have acted like that. You're free to do whatever you want to do and it's not my business. So, I'm going to finally do what you've been asking me to do and leave you alone about us."

"Oh. Well, thank you... I guess?" She wasn't sure how to respond.

"Okay. I should probably go so..." He turned to leave.

She hesitated and knew she had to finally say what she knew to be true. The very real possibility that he'd walk away for good was worse than the admission.

"Bryce, wait. I wanted to just say that... you were right, too. You've been right and I just didn't want to admit it."

"So now what?" He asked truly surprised by what she'd said but careful not to get his hopes up too high. He wondered what prompted her change.

"I don't know. I can't really do this right now. And I don't mean that like before. It's just I have finals."

"Right. Today and tomorrow."

"Exactly, so maybe we can talk about it next week?" She asked hopefully.

"Whatever you want." He wanted to say more, get her to commit to a day they'd have the talk, but didn't want to risk ruining what he considered to be progress. "Good luck on your Chem final."

"I don't need luck. I had a great tutor all semester." She smiled.

* * *

Nicole's Organic Chemistry and Developmental Psychology finals fell back to back on the last day of finals. Because of the global blackout, the university had pushed back the schedule by just over a week. This was resulting in leaving only a week's interval between the current session closing and the Summer session beginning. Even with all that had happened they were still trying to maintain as close to normal a schedule as possible. Nicole tried not to think about the Calculus or Psych classes she'd signed up for months before. She needed to concentrate on the task at hand. That the proctor for the OChem exam was particularly pissy and adamant to verify that no one entered the room with their mobile phone or any other electronic devices was a minor annoyance. Nicole noticed exactly which of her classmates weren't in attendance and said a quick prayer that they were safe and faring well. She'd hoped they'd just dropped out for a while and would get themselves together enough to rejoin life later, just like she had many months before. All things considered, she knew that her flashforward experience this time around was a luxury. She appreciated it wholly, even if she wasn't embracing it. She'd even gained something of an appreciation for her first flash after talking to Ed. She liked his balanced outlook and perspective on the flashes.

Once the proctor was satisfied that everyone seated for the exam was more or less trustworthy, the exams were passed out and commenced. Nicole took a deep breath and read over the questions, while she flipped the pages. She began working and couldn't help but think about Bryce having had confidence that she could do it all along and helping her along the way. No matter how things had ended up between them, she would always be grateful to him in that regard. He'd believed in her when she wasn't so sure.

When both her finals were complete she walked to the bus stop to head home. She missed her car. It was still in the shop awaiting parts that were on backorder. She knew she could use Quinn's car while she was away but she hadn't time before her finals to stop by. She felt drained and a little loopy from having her mind bent and folded in different directions. She didn't even care that she couldn't recall one question asked or answer she'd given on either exam. She considered blank better than worry as she retrieved her messages.

She listened to two messages Paige had left her and deleted them. Par for the course Paige. A demand to call her back ASAP and questioning where she was. Add in her usual tone of derision and Nicole wasn't inclined to call her back immediately. She still couldn't understand why Paige refused to leave messages that actually had content. She never said what she wanted. Nicole mused momentarily that if she'd just saved all Paige's messages it would likely come down to about four variations. At most. Nicole tossed her phone into her bag. Even with all the restrictions of the SoE, she figured she'd have just enough time to go home to see her Mom before heading to work. She'd promised that after her finals she'd come home and play a hand of cards. It never occurred to her that her mother would make other plans.

####

Nicole watched the firefighters working and hardly believed what she was witnessing. The flames shot through the roof of the house and lapped against the blue of the sky while black smoke billowed. After explaining to an officer who she was she turned to see Paige approaching.

"Where have you been?"

"I had finals." Nicole told her, sure it was going to be an answer lacking in Paige's estimation. She did wish now that she'd called her back though.

"Of course."

"Where's Mom? What's happened?"

"Mom? Oh, she's fine! Gleeful and practically raving as they took her off. She set the house on fire, she could have been injured or killed and all she could talk about was you!"

"What about Judy?" Nicole asked instead of bothering to respond to her sister's comments.

"Thankfully, she's fine. She came out to get the mail, Mom locked her out and lit the place."

"She was fine this morning before I left."

"I seriously doubt that."

"Fine for her, Paige!" Nicole yelled back.

She knew it would result in an argument but she didn't care. She was tired of being the one between the them to always work harder to get along. It was the wrong time and place but then, there never was a good time for long overdue confrontations.

####

"You know what, I don't have to argue with you about this. I'm the one with the Power of Attorney not you. You don't get a vote. Not this time." Paige dismissed Nicole completely.

"Paige..."

"Why don't you just go? Mom's not here and I don't need you here. I'll call you and let you know what the Fire Marshall says about the house." Paige said before turning and walking away.

Still livid, Nicole walked off in the opposite direction. She took out her phone and called Gatewood Hospital. It may have been the closest mental hospital but it certainly wasn't the place best suited for her mother. She hated that place and that Paige would let anyone take her there for even one minute infuriated Nicole even more. She couldn't get her out she just wanted to see her. Before she made the call, she knew it was a futile endeavor.

####

"Yes, I know. I understand. Thank you." After twenty minutes on the phone speaking with the doctors at the hospital, Nicole felt no better about the situation. Her phone jingled disturbing her train of thought.

"Hey, Quinn."

"Nikki, hey! So glad you picked up! Can you do me a favor? When you stop in at my place, there's a file I left on my desk. Can you fax the papers to me?" Quinn asked quickly.

"Um, sure. Of course, I can do that. What's the number?" Nicole asked as she pulled a pen and small notebook from her handbag. Nicole wrote as Quinn rattled off the number.

"Thanks. You're a life saver, I can't even tell you. How were your finals?"

"My finals? They were good." It seemed like they'd happened a long time ago, not earlier in the day.

"Are you okay?" Quinn was sure Nicole didn't sound like her usual self.

"It's been kind of a strange day. My Mom burned like, half the house down." Nicole explained to Quinn and reaffirmed for herself.

"She what? Oh my god, Nikki! Is she okay?"

"She's not hurt but they took her to Gatewood."

"Seriously?" Quinn knew what that meant.

"Yeah. Can we talk later? I have to go or I'm going to be late for work."

"Wait? You're going to work?"

"My Mom's already at Gatewood and when I called they said she can't see anyone for 72 hours anyway. And Paige is taking care of the stuff with the house. She doesn't want my help and both of us here together is just making things worse so I might as well go someplace I can help."

"Friggin Paige." Was all Quinn said. It was well and long known that Quinn wasn't a fan.

She told Nicole to skip the fax, she'd work around it and they hung up. She didn't think Nicole being alone after all the chaos was such a great idea and contemplated calling Bryce. She noticed her boss's secretary wave to get her attention and knew she didn't have time to call. She needed to get back to her meeting.

* * *

Nicole arrived at work and walked through the doors quickly, her mind running through everything that had happened and what she should do next. She didn't care about what Paige had said or what she thought of her. It was what it was and Nicole hadn't any inclination to try and change it. Usually. But her mother being sent to Gatewood, even for a seventy-two hour hold, was the absolute worst thing. They'd been down this road before and it always ended the same way. That her mother had set the house on fire this time just started them off further down the road than before. And there was no way Paige was going to listen to her input even if she was right. No amount of last minute ass kissing was going to coax Paige either, she didn't work that way. That their home being half burned down wasn't Nicole's biggest problem provided her no solace. It was one more thing gone sideways and she wasn't sure how to right it again.

She reached the end of a corridor and realized that she hadn't been thinking at all about where she was going. She wiped the tears from her eyes and headed for the stairwell. She was supposed to be beginning her shift but couldn't show up at the station like this. The hospital was still working at capacity and everyone was doing more than their share. She couldn't just bail. Especially since there wasn't anything she could do in the immediate for her mother. And she really didn't want to explain what was wrong. She just needed a little time to sort herself out. And a minute to get a handle on where to begin.

####

Bryce was getting ready to go home after finishing his back to back shifts. He had missed not seeing Nicole earlier but knew she'd had her OChem final to contend with. He was sure she'd done just fine and wished they were past the much anticipated conversation because he would have liked to take her out to celebrate the end of such an arduous semester. He knew her idea of celebration would be just the two of them sharing her favorite pizza from Giordano's and red velvet cupcakes from Delilah's. The chime of his phone called for his attention.

"Hey, Quinn. What's up?" Surprised she was calling, he continued to toss things into his bag.

"Nikki seriously needs your help." Quinn began.


End file.
